Marrying Sergeant Major
~ 3 ~
Previously, because I was not from the TNI or TNI wife, knowledge about the TNI was minimal, only knowing from reading and from friends who had TNI husbands. So if anyone does not apologize and please understand. Or maybe there are readers who have a husband TNI members can give advice and knowledge a little yes.
Happy Reading's...
...🌟🌟🌟🌟...
On the way home after from the old man's house Bima, only silence enveloped us both.
Mas Bima was focused on driving, and I was busy with my own thoughts. While Lala was asleep in my lap.
I turned my attention by looking at the density of traffic presented from behind the car glass.
Terngiang mas Bima words if I have spoiled Lala, crossed also the sentence that says if I go, it will be difficult to manage Lala who already depends on me. Anxiety in case I and Lala will indeed be separated even more.
Imagining parting with Lala, my heart is like being crushed so strongly. The pain seemed to squeeze the chest until the tightness is extraordinary.
I unconsciously drip a clear point from the eye patch. My hand that was patting Lala's back, moved sweeping my dewy eyes. Occasionally sigh to reduce the throbbing pain in the heart.
Can I part with Lala? My heart asked with a sudden heartbeat.
The answer is no, I already love this child, I can't leave him, but what about his father if he decides to divorce me if he finds the woman he loves?
Inevitably, I have to get away from Lala's life, right? and it looks like I have to prepare myself for that farewell day.
"What are you thinking?" suddenly I heard the sound of Bima from my right side.
I looked at it, then shook my head.
"Nothing" I said, then peeked at Lala's head.
"There's nothing, why cry?"
Well, Bima mas know that if I cry, he is like that for the affairs of feeling. He even knows that I love him.
"No talking? is your mouth just a display?" he told me when I didn't give an answer.
Hearing her words, my head reflexively lifted, feeling the strange whirring that seconds were running through my body.
"There was nothing, I just couldn't bear to see Lala in pain earlier" I lied glancing at Lala's wound on her knee.
The tail of my eyes realized that Bima was looking at me with a probing look.
"Remain, is that all?" he asked while turning his face towards the dark road.
In that instant, replace me who stared at Bima mas. I could only look at the side of his face on the left.
When Bima turned back to meet our neutrals, our views automatically laced a few seconds before I quickly cut off eye contact with him.
The feeling that was in my heart was more and more unruffled, the heart beat was also pounding more and more, that's why I always did not dare to look at him longer.
Then silence.
I was busy with my mind.
Sometimes it's someone we love the most, he's the one who's good at hurting feelings.
I have always felt that way since I married Mas Bima. Not because Bima betrayed, but my heart hurts to love alone.
The Javanese proverb that says 'Tresno jalaran soko kulino' does not apply to Bima mas. The proof, two years of living one roof, can not make him love me, he is still with his ego that always displays a cold and flat expression.
There was no warmth in his face.
Would I rather retreat? rather than together but struggling without Bima mas, which ends will hurt me even more?
I don't know...
***
The next morning, I did my usual morning routine, sweeping, watering plants, preparing breakfast, and preparing for work. I also helped Lala get ready to go to the play group. Mas Bima indeed left Lala there since he was not even two years old. That's because we're both busy with the demands of work as ASNs.
She did not mind if she had to stay with her mother in the Play group until four in the afternoon. There are many other children who are also entrusted because of the busyness of their parents.
The play group is really reliable, the proof is that they can take care of our children well. In addition to getting supervision from mothers in play groups, children can also socialize with other friends, so good at telling stories, coloring, and singing.
After Lala was ready with clothes and hair that I tied high, I prepared a bag that I would fill with a complete change of underwear, some diapers, and also eucalyptus oil and powder. Just in case the shirt is wet, or dirty.
After that, I immediately took Lala to my room in front of her room.
I'm with my little daughter changing clothes.
"Mother's had a shower?" lala asked when she found out I changed my clothes.
"Already, baby"
After a few minutes, I was ready, I put on heels and grabbed the bag I had prepared last night.
"Come on" asked me who was immediately nodded by Lala.
I held her little hand down the stairs.
Is it like that when we face the man we love? mas Bima who has stolen my heart for a long time, it feels, I want to faint so happy to be able to look at the face of the man I love.
Because today Bima mas served in the lanud office after three weeks of service in the field, he will be there until three in the afternoon.
Bima first arrived at the dining table, only half a minute, Lala and I were already in the dining room.
Mas Bima pulled out a chair for Lala, while I directly dipped the rice for Bima, Lala and myself.
"Good morning, dad"
"Good morning, dear" Mas Bima smiled and rubbed Lala's head.
"Good morning, ma'am"
"Bagi"
I took a slow breath after hearing the short answer.
"Lala does not want vegetable bun" he said when he saw me scooping vegetable chickpeas.
"Why?"
"No liking"
In addition to kale, spinach and broccoli, Lala does not like vegetables.
"It's delicious boy" said Mas Bima glanced at Lala.
"No way"
"There's a slice of cow, too, but don't want it?" soft ask.
The boy still shook his head, I gave up, just picked up nuggets and sausages.
We began to feed the rice into the mouth, while occasionally I helped Lala eat, my gaze also occasionally glanced at Bima's gold cup, let me know when I should fill the glass.
"Who will Lala pick up?" tanyanya glanced at me and mas Bima alternately.
"Apicked up dad ya" Without thinking Bima directly answered Lala's question.
"Yes"
I silently watched. Indeed, if Bima mas at home, he will pick up Lala at school after work.
He who comes home at three in the afternoon, will arrive at Lala's school at exactly four. The distance of the house with Lanud where Bima mas service is quite far. Unlike me who is only fifteen minutes from the distance I work with Lala school. It was because I chose a playgroup close to my work area so that I could occasionally nengokin Lala during my lunch break. That is if you can.
"Monday afternoon lala's no?"
"No, son. Mother's busy on Monday"
"Yes" This kid is a little disappointed. But he was very good at hiding his disappointment.
"It's okay, La?" gamang tanyaku.
"It's okay bun, but I promise you, the night Lala played"
"Yes" I rubbed the back of Lala's head.
Ten minutes passed, Bima had finished his breakfast, then sipped water in his glass.
"Dad left first, Thalia don't be naughty, so good boy!" the message while wiping the mouth using a tissue.
"Yes dad"
The man to whom I had such good looks, God rose up, stretched out his hand to Lala. After Lala, it was my turn to kiss the back of her hand.
"Be careful on the road, don't speed" his message referred to me.
"Yes, mas"
"Dad go, son" Mas Bima kissed Lala's head before completely moving from the dining room.
"Assalamu'alaikum!"
"Wa'alaikumsalam's chat. Careful, mom!"
"Hemm" The man stretched his legs with firm steps.
I stared at Bima's wide back.
When is our wedding going to be like this?
If you don't give your heart a chance to accept me, then I'm sure in the next two years, our relationship will be the same as the two years we've been through. It's gonna stick here and there's no progress.
Seriate.