Marrying Sergeant Major
~ 36 ~
I flinch as I try to normalize the heartbeat that I feel is becoming.
The rhythm that I can not control because of our current position, added again with a kiss review from Bima mas earlier, as if adding to my nervousness rising.
I don't know what made this guy above me suddenly petrified. But I thought, maybe he was surprised by the name I just mentioned.
One second, two seconds, we were still holding each other in silence, until in the third second, Bima suddenly swept back my lips.
The sweep I felt was deep and intense, making my common sense unable to think clearly. I even forgot my wish to avoid it.
Increasingly, one of Bima's hands tightened our fingers and locked them, the other hand landed right on one of my protruding breasts, while her lips did not stop.
I really don't know what dreams last night were, because without any warning, her lips were so wildly exploring my lips. For the second time Bima kissed me.
And strangely enough, I so enjoyed the kiss that it was getting warmer and softer.
I who have never made this intimate physical contact before, either with Bima mas or other men, can only be silent while closing my eyes.
Until when mas Bima bit my lower lip, automatically reflex my mouth gaping and I was shocked by his tongue that suddenly infiltrated.
My mind was empty, yet it enjoyed the gentle and wet movements within my mouth.
After a minute Bima was playing with my lips, our lips were released because they were both out of breath.
"Mas" My chest went up and down, as did the Bima mas, to the point that our breaths collided with each other.
From the look on Bima's face, it seems like she harbors anger, and my feeling is that she has a problem with a man named Yoga.
"If you're angry, don't vent it on me" I said as calmly as I could.
Both my talapak landed on his chest in Bima.
"Don't meet the guy" the insider whose seconds made my eyebrows swoop in.
"Mas think I came to see him?"
"How did you meet him?"
"His daughter is one school with Lala" Mas Bima looked at me sharply, as if she could not believe my words.
"Since when?"
"A little over a month ago, he just moved from Singapore" I'm getting made to not understand his face.
"Who is he, my mom?"
"He's a lawyer, he's the one who defended Hana desperately during my divorce proceedings and demanded Lala's custody"
"So right? I was venting my anger because I remember my past?"
"Why? Jealousy?"
"Surge!" As much as I can get rid of Bima mas. When I succeeded, I immediately stood up straight while tidying up my clothes and hair that was a little messy.
"Don't be too baper so people, will hurt themselves" Mas Bima also rose. "I just remember the past, and it doesn't affect my life at all"
"Mas still in love with Hana?" I was annoyed with full investigation, and immediately made Bima's forehead frown sharply.
"It seems yes" I answered my own question because Bima did not answer it. "It seems, I never care about how I feel, so why would I waste my energy asking anything about privacy"
"What did you say?" mas Bima stepped closer. "No matter how you feel?"
"That's what you've been doing to me all this time?"
"If I don't care about your feelings, I've touched you before even though I have no feelings of love at all, most importantly my biological needs are met. If I didn't care about you, I'd have separated you from Lala" a long time ago"
"Could you please separate from Lala?" tanya sarcastic.
I swallowed spit.
"Do you know why I keep maintaining our household? Do you think it's that easy to open your heart and believe in new people? At least I've tried to accept you. You think I don't know with your eyes that only pity me and Lala? But with you asking like that, it has offended my heart, Arimbi"
"But why are you upset?"
"Already, Bi.. There's a lot I have to take care of besides work, you and Lala"
"Many things? What's?"
"Well, you always wanted to know about my privacy first"
"If it were my bicycle" I said trying to say what was in my heart. "Why does it seem to prevent me from knowing my personal life?"
Bima did not have time to answer I heard Lala's voice from the door. "Dad, mother"
When I turned my face towards her, I saw Lala's cute little body wrapped in a white towel and hair wrapped in cloth.
"Lala's had a shower?" my many.
"Already, the same shower oma. Oma told Lala to ask mommy to help Lala put on the robe"
"here"
Lala slammed into my arms, I carried her to get on the bed and wiped her body.
Mas Bima who was also staring at Lala, has now entered the bathroom that will most likely clean themselves.
"Lala want to go with oma naji?"
"You, mother. Says ifa later meet budhe Zara same oma Nina and opa Danu, mbak Cia same mas Alvio also want to njai"
"So the phone budhe Zara, mba Cia who spoke on the phone, mbak Cia told Lala naji, tomorrow - tomorrow Lala wants to go to school in the place of mbak Cia" I silently listened while grooving Lala's body with eucalyptus oil.
"Lala wants to go to school in Cia's place? Not coming home later"
"Cia said that there will be many friends who are bobo at school as well, it would be exciting if the bobonya together with friends, friends are also many"
I smiled at Lala's response. Mas Bima was already round to send Lala to the madrasah, although I was heavy because Lala had to live in the pesantren, but her father's decision could not be disturbed. And that means, later I will be alone with Bima mas at home.
I will feel lonely later.
But, is there a possibility that I have a child with Bima, someday?
Looking at how our relationship is, I can already describe that the chances of getting pregnant are only fifty percent.
Ah, my confidence is quietly dwindling.
As soon as the dressing session was over, I helped Lala dry her hair using a hairdryer.
"Mother" Call Lala when I stand behind her.
"Mother not going to njai?"
"No, son. Dad said his body was aching, because last night fell asleep on the sofa, I asked to be accompanied by a break"
That's just my reason, because I still want to observe Bima mas about his privacy that I want to know.
"Dad must be tired a lot of bun, yesterday when Lala came home late, because waiting for his taxi for a long time, his father also returned to work directly to school still carrying a suitcase. Continue until Lala's bathhouse is the same as Lala's nyuapin. Lala's also fussy"
"I'm sorry, son"
I'm really sorry I left them. Although Bima may not have any feelings for me, but still I feel guilty.
"Why you're sorry, you're working for Lala"
Lala's words made my hand slow down. "Dad said that?"
Lala nodded, even though I was behind her back as it still dried Lala's hair, but I could feel her nodding of her head.
"Stay you have to apologize for not calling me"
"Lala darling mother"
I responded to Lala with a kiss on the tip of her head.
"Hair is tied one, yes, continue later in use hijab"
"Yes" said Lala obediently.
While I was helping Lala comb her hair, Bima came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her waist.
I glanced at him earlier.
The man walked towards me, and my heart again beat very impudently.
Though mas Bima only want to dry her hair using a hairdryer that I was wearing but I have not had time to unplug from the socket.
"Dad you want to go with njai?" Lala asked with a serious look up staring at Bima mas.
"No, I'm tired"
"Sorry Lala yes, dad. Yesterday Lala was fussy, said Lala's mother had to apologize to father"
"Why Lala apologizes, even though it is the mother who left, mother just no apologies to father"
"But apologize to Lala, really"
"But not to dad, La"
"Already" I snatched their conversation because in addition to having finished helping Lala dress, I also felt being cornered by Bima mas.
"Mother ahead"
"Yes, mother"
"Don't ask for a sling" Bima said as Lala stretched out her arms.
"Street by foot" I said.
"Yes, bun"
****
I drove Lala away with her oma opa to the doorstep.
"Mommy stay yes, Bi.. Later coming home from the grandfather's house, mbak Za same mother want to eat dinner here, tell the bik Nani to prepare everything"
"Yes mih"
Entering the house, suddenly my mind was disturbed by the phrase mas Bima.
There are many things that Bima takes care of besides work, me and Lala.
What business is that?
Seriate.