Not a Curse
149. Self-righteous

It had been over thirty minutes, a man was standing in front of a building hiding someone inside there. But the courage that he had gathered from the house had just disappeared when his feet climbed the courtyard of the building.

The feeling of wanting to meet that person has been pendam for months. Missing and guilt always haunts him. He realized that he was so evil and did not know himself to that person. But now he realized because he himself had received his own reward. Indeed the law of the sow still applies in this world, and he is experiencing it at this time.

With a steady heart, that tall body began to step up. He would feel useless if he just left from there, because to get there he would have to look for a thousand reasons to his wife. He did not want to waste this opportunity to meet the woman he might still love.

"Excuse me sir, I'd like to visit a prisoner named Sarah"

"Sorry, with whom??"

"Me, Radian"

Yeah, that guy's Radian. She ventured to meet her ex-boyfriend. It wasn't easy for Radian to show his face in front of Sarah. Of course there is fear and shame.

She was afraid that Sarah would refuse to meet him, especially hating him. Radian was also embarrassed because he was unhappy after choosing to marry another woman..

"Please wait in the waiting room first"

Radian nervously walked into the room he had shown earlier. The man even repeatedly shook his fingers to reduce his nervousness.

Shortly after, a guard brought someone into the room. Radian immediately sparkled to look at the woman he so missed.

But Radian's eyes instantly dimmed as he caught that dull and withered face. The gaze of the eyes that usually looked at him with a sparkle now turned blank like there was no content in it.

"It's only thirty minutes, no more!!" The warden said then went straight from there.

"Sarah" Call Radian gently because Sarah hasn't budged since she was there at all.

"Sarah, how are you??" Radian shouldn't have asked that because he'd seen for himself if Sarah was really destroyed.

The atmosphere was silent for a moment because Radian did not get the advice of Sarah.

"Sarah, i..."

"Why did you come here??" First question from Sarah's lips. But Radian was so disappointed that Sarah would not look at him at all.

"I'm sorry Sarah" That's the only thing that can describe Radian's feelings for Sarah right now.

"Why apologize??"

"I'm.."

"Which one should I forgive?? I don't know" This time Sarah looked towards Radian even if only briefly.

Radia again fell silent, she was now completely dead lice in front of Sarah.

"I'm sorry for everything Sarah" Radian said after he breathed his breath.

"I've forgiven you so don't worry. You also don't have to bother coming here" Sarah was still reluctant to stare at Radian who was beside her.

"Sarah, listen to me first..."

"No need, now you better go home. Your wife must have been waiting at home"

"Gram!!" Radian held Sarah's hand, which was about to leave.

"I'm not happy with my marriage"

Sarah suddenly smiled wryly, she thought why Radian bothered to say that to her.

"I was wrong, Sara. I was wrong to interpret my feelings so quickly. I just realized I still love you Sarah"

Finally Sarah's laughter let out a voice as well. How could Radian say such a funny thing to Sarah.

"I really am Sarah!! At first I was close to him because he has a nature like you. For a long time I was comfortable and dared to marry her. But everything changed after we married Sarah. He's not what I imagined, he's rude, he's always insulting me, he's even trampling on my pride" Radian repeatedly sighed rudely, perhaps already so fed up with his marriage.

"Then what's your purpose in telling me all that??" Sarah is still so cold and still continues to control herself so as not to let out her passionate emotions.

"Maybe it's a punishment for me Sarah. I have hurt you and also cheated your husband. Right now I'm feeling the consequences of my actions"

Radian led Sarah to sit back in the chair next to him.

"I'm sorry for ruining you Sarah. I promised to wait for you until you divorced your husband. But when that happened, I left you with another woman. All the time I keep waiting for you until anytime, according to our promise first"

Sarah held a tightness inside her chest. Radian is part of his life. Hearing those words coming out from the man's lips, everything was stinging in his heart.

"Why do you still survive with him losing already know his nature like that??"

"I'm already married. Remembering my sins to you and your ex-husband. I don't want to play with marriage. I always expected him to change, but it's becoming more and more. I think I've done Sarah's best" Radian lowered his head so deeply.

"Is it true just because of that??"

Sarah knows her very well, where she might be able to hide anything from Sarah. From Sarah's question alone, Radian already knew that Sarah must have suspected something from him.

"I'm in a lot of debt because I cheated on my friend, and the one who paid for it was Mila. That's why he's so mean to me now"

Sure enough Sarah's guess, if there's any other reason for Radian to survive in the current marriage.

"It's worth it that he's like that to you. Where would other women freely give money like I used to" Now Sarah cursed herself who was so blinded by love by Radian.

"Sorry Sarah" Again that word that Sarah heard, although only twice but so sickening in Sarah's ears. Because now that word has no meaning anymore.

"You know how else. Now we just live out our own destiny. I have accepted all of this as my way of life. Even though I have to stay here my whole life I want to. Because there is no one out there expecting me back" Sarah said, feeling sorry for herself.

"Don't say that Sarah. There are those who still expect you to come back. If I could pay all my debt to Mila. I'll divorce her, I'll wait until you get out Sarah. Ten years, right?? It wasn't a long time for me"

Sarah laughed sinisterly at Radian. "Don't make promises like that!! You fear you cannot keep it. Better solve your problem first. I'll also enjoy my new life in this prison"

"One more thing, than we're busy making promises like this. We better make our time now as a time to improve ourselves. Hopefully, it will still be given a chance to become a better human being"

Radian agreed with what Sarah said this time even though she was just silent.

"Then I have to go back inside. Be careful on the road, and may your wife change soon so that your marriage can be held up for a long time"

Sarah moved back from her seat without waiting for a reply from Radian.

"Wait Sarah!!"

Sarah turned to look at the man who was her first love.

"Can I hold you??"

Without guessing, when viewed from the attitude of Sarah who has been so cold since. Now Sarah just directly splashed into the arms of Radian. Spilling his sobs that he had been holding.

Radian's heart was also sliced to hear the roar from Sarah. Although the woman in his arms did not say anything, but Radian knew that what Sarah was going through right now was so heavy.