Port of Love Ekklesia
The Ash White Mass 15 (Remerging)

I'm getting used to it without any frills from Johan. Already accustomed to the absence of a reckless and accustomed.no longer say good morning and good night, as one of the decorators on my journey. I'm getting used to it.

But who would have thought, 3 weeks of my habit was disturbed again by him. With a sense of innocence, she suddenly greeted me with her usual lance.

Ting....

Be the initial sound airing messages go to my HP.

Johans

"Hi Ra's....How's Rara doing?"

"Huh...for what is this kid trying? Suddenly disappeared, suddenly appeared...." I muttered while looking at my HP screen. Now my eyes really want to jump, coupled with my annoyed face of the attitude of Johan as he pleases.

I did not immediately reply to her, my femaleness ego still enveloped me affectionately.

Puckered my lips, I placed the HP next to my thigh. Then I closed my eyes for me to dismiss that even though I was grieved half to death towards her, there was a longing in my chest that I could not describe. Instead of wanting to forget about the memories instead of bringing me drowned, recalling how the meeting between me and Johan happened.

"Damn..it looks like this is going to fail!" My story while hugging tightly my pillow roll.

"How's this? What am I supposed to do? I miss him but, please him as he pleases...What am I stopping by for? sit down for a minute, would you say there's time?" That word came out of my mouth.

Maybe if anyone had heard my words back then, they wouldn't have believed that this was the first time I'd been close to a man. Yes, practice may be the first time, but the experience of reading a novel and watching a drama makes me understand that I am not being ignored by a man. Through the novels I have read all this time, I am convinced that I am being played with.

But, my ego was defeated by my enormous miss. Slowly but surely I grabbed my HP slowly which was now half a meter away from me.

I then typed a few words in reply to Johan's question.

Greas

"Hi too...good" Reply cuek.

Johans

"Sorry Ra. I've been too busy these 3 weeks"

"Open...ten....new realize yes?" Mumamku annoyed. Then I typed again to reply.

"Hmmm. It's common"

My reply was more chuckling.

If anyone reads my reply at this time, they will definitely think that we are lovers who are fighting back because of a misunderstanding. But back again, that's what I managed to air as a form of my frustration. It is up to people to say what, but for sure I really want to shout it because of the nature of his heart to me.

Johans

"Don't dong Ra.... Seriously Ra.... Not wanting to reply. But indeed, after I have finished training, I am very tired"

Greas

Johans

"Yes Ra. let alone the lomba will start, we are getting more and more training. Our training hours were also added. Really tired Ra"

Reading this message, my defense that was so firm finally collapsed instantly. My blazing anger has now turned to compassion. Back then, I was still only able to draw it as compassion.

Greas

"Yes I know Jo. You know what? As long as you don't tell me anything, I'm really upset half to death. I wanted to hate you. Just thought you were playing me"

Johans

"Yes, I'm sure that's what you think Ra is. That's why I decided to call you today. So that you don't think badly"

Greas

"Don't blame me dong if I'm not thinking"

Johans

"Yes dear.do not think that no yes. If I come back, I'll tell you everything"

Deg

My heart was beating so fast reading the affectionate words that Johan typed. Actually this is not the first time he called me that, but somehow there was guilt when I read it. There's a worry I can't explain. Even though I was very curious, I never asked why he always called me dear. We have no word of dating.

I had time to think, whether a man is that easy to say the word dear or indeed he really loves me. I don't know, I'm too scared to ask. And I decided, let Johan call me that. But I never expected to return the call. Because for me between men and women is not that easy to express the word affection if there is no attachment.

Greas

"Yes Jo. We will SMS again sometime. It's night, I have school tomorrow too. And for your sheep, who knows I didn't get to say it, spirit yes. And may we win"

Johans

"Yes Ra. You are also the spirit of the School, especially in the near future the test. Good night Ra...."

That was the end of our SMS that night. And I don't reply to him anymore. Because if I reply, the SMS-an that night will be longer as where it usually happens. And I don't want that to happen, considering he's been very busy training.

I fret.... 😔

"Is this what we call hope? Appeared when I decided to stop"

T.P.S.G