Port of Love Ekklesia
The Endless Sad

Reminiscing?

It might be a normal thing to do.

My period sheet is probably over. But not with his memories, because I was there anyway.

Just like a book has pages, so does my life journey. My High School period has come to the final sheet, and now a new Book for me to fill in during college, I have prepared.

And I think I'm ready for a new story.

"Let's go later yuk Gre.... " Take Septi while continuing to stare at his HP screen.

"Where??? " Tanyaku circled his gaze towards Septi who was sitting to my right.

"Gre's habit of shopping for one month's stock. The ingredients for your cooking and toiletries are all gone, right?" Ask me again who is facing me.

"Hmmmm... It's over Sep" I said slowly as I flipped through the book that was on my lap.

"If it's so dong yes.... others we invite also not?"

"Take a question in the Group" My friend is still busy with my book.

"Okay. Oiya.... Your classmate is not you invite Gre? You see, I see you guys are so close" said Septi suddenly remembered with my classmate Tesa, Yessi and Sean who were often with me while on campus.

"Ntar I'm taking Sep. Maybe they want to too. Let's rame too.... "

"Okay. I like..I like it! " Spepti muttered happily while typing something on his HP.

"Yes exciting. Hasn't there been a reply from our roommate?" I asked, but still in the same position. Sitting while busy flipping through books and then raising my right leg, crossing it over my left leg.

Actually seeing my busyness that has been booming since college, should have made me forget the memories of the past. But since I was one of the people with a high memory, it made it hard for me to forget things that had passed. And sometimes it really does affect my mood. If I remember something pleasant, then suddenly I will smile to myself, and if I remember something sad, then I will urinate on my own.

Johans

"Hai Ra.... How are you?

Raraku.I have released you. Find a good man and one who believes in you. Later if you have met the man. Tell me, 'cause I'm a man, so I can tell if he's a good man or not.

I know Ra very well, if you're very interested in a guy with a good personality. But remember Ra. that the Man in the Church is not necessarily good. So stay careful. I'm also pretty sure Ra, someday you'll be a great woman. So keep the spirit and achieve your goals. I will miss you so much. The spirit is Ra"

Immediately after reading the message, my world collapsed. I felt happy and sad at the same time. I'm glad that Johan took me seriously. And I was very sad because I did not convey my love to Johan in the least. Although maybe it was only a matter of affection to friends, but I never showed it.

I sobbed while tightly hugging my HP in the chest. I felt Johan's presence at the time. My sadness is dominating, because I can no longer repeat everything.

I can only cry, but to get back there, is absolutely impossible.

"I'm sorry Jo. I was comfortable with you back then. But I've never thought so far what you're feeling. I thought you were just messing around. But after reading this message, my heart is broken. I thought you were the insensitive Jo. It turns out I'm the one who's insensitive. I'm sorry Jo. I just realized.... Excuse me. Huhuhuhu.. sorry Jo" My tears at that time really broke, while continuing to chatter incoherently. Fortunately, no one was home at the time. So that I can cry with satisfaction.

But what I regret the most to date is, and what makes me the dumbest to remember is. I never returned Johan's message. I also forgot what the cause was. Either because I was too surprised or because I was too late in grief, I completely forgot too.

And once again, I built up my own regrets.

Drawing my own sad memories. You can say "stupid" to me. Because that's what I deserved at the time.

🎼(Maudy Ayunda's Song "Love is late" on)🎼

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"Related people always come later. Because at the beginning of the name registration"

T. P. S. G