Second Change
Chapter 23

The day after that dramatic love statement David again became as usual. Cold and unpredictable. Early in the morning I was alone with his mother and Aunt Nia for going back to live in the apartment. David picked up my suitcase which contained old Emi clothes that were not used anymore. David initially disagreed I received Emi's second-hand clothes. But I insist on accepting it. Maybe that's why he became cold again when he just declared love.

But come to think of it, it doesn't seem like a statement of love. He didn't say he liked love. He just told me to see if he deserved to love me or not. So selfish. Is he also like Tony who just wants to receive love from someone and if it has been obtained then I will be thrown away again.

This time I will not be fooled again. A man who has power and wealth like him can get any beautiful woman. A woman who has nothing like me is only fit to be her toy. After having fun, it will be removed without leaving a hint of guilt.

Disgustedly

Remember Tony's words to David.

I who was previously in love, will eventually become disgusted to them. It's better for David to throw me out than to play me back. I don't want to be dragged to hell again.

David left me at the apartment and then he went to work. I stuffed the suitcase into my room which was pretty stuffy because it was closed for a few days. So, I decided to clean up today.

Starting from the bathroom, my room, David's room, the living room and then the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and took out all the contents and put back the ingredients that were still worth using. The result is not much left.

When I lay down on the living room couch, it turned out to be three in the afternoon. I am tired and hungry. I decided to force myself to go out for food and buy some cooking before I went home. I went into the room to pick up my phone and wallet and put it in a small sling bag. From inside the bag came a clattering sound. I grabbed the source of the sound and it turned out to be the key to my house.

Suddenly there was a desire to try to get back there. I sat there for a few minutes thinking about what might happen.

Maybe I'll get caught by the neighboring mothers and they come back to gang up on me. All that came into my mind were the worst possibilities. There was not the slightest bit of hope that would be received again in that environment.

I left the key on the nightstand and abandoned my desire to return. I don't have the courage to face the events of that time anymore. I am ashamed and ill at the thought of how I was slandered in a public place. If I go back to explain, they won't believe it either.

So right now I have no choice but to get stuck with David. I need to be more self-reinforcing and alert so as not to repeat the incident with Tony again.

***

It was strange to eat alone in Warteg. I used to eat alone at home. After Tony, I never ate alone again. This is the first time I've ever eaten in a public place alone. I laughed at myself who seemed destined for loneliness.

"Where's the deck?" ask the warteg's mother who was cleaning the table next to me. "I don't think I've ever seen it."

I flinched because I was suddenly greeted. "Anu, Ma'am. um. I live there."

I hurriedly wiped my mouth while pointing at the tall building across.

"That apartment? That expensive one?" mother asked in amazement looking at the direction I pointed.

"Yes Mom. Don't know if it's expensive or not" I replied awkwardly

"Yes, it's expensive. But how do you eat it in warteg?" The mother scrunched her forehead while watching me whether I was lying or not.

"I just live Mom. Friend's place."

"Oh.. Quickly. The ones who live there are all conglomerates. Being able to buy was not necessarily allowed to buy." babble the mother while shuffling her waist

"Why is that, Mom?" ask me to be curious

"Because the people who live there are only influential people. Kayak Mentri, artist, conglomerate. If you're like a rich businessman with no influence, you can't stay there." The mother held up the dirty dishes while shaking her head.

"What is your friend?" tannya

"Hm." I don't know anything about David. "Conglomerates."

I guess the closest. I've been to his office and it doesn't seem to be a minister or an artist's office.

The mother passed by while nodding. Maybe I can't believe what I'm saying. But it's hard to believe, I don't look like I have a conglomerate friend.

T-shirts, knee-length silver pants, rubber slippers, and no jewelry. Maybe the mother believed more that I told her I was actually working at a conglomerate's house. I laughed in my heart. Laughing at myself.

I paid for my food and walked around the warteg. Not far from there was a small grocery store. I went in and bought some necessities and lastly I took one of the ice cream from the freezer. I sat on a long bench in front of the stall, eating ice cream while watching some children playing marbles. When they laughed, I unconsciously followed happily as if I were a part of them. I haven't felt this kind of atmosphere in a long time. Simple, cheerful, exciting, and togetherness.

The ice cream I bought was long gone and the children had already begun to disperse. I don't think the sun is starting to set so fast. I ran small on this small road because the stalls were closed and the surroundings began to quiet. A few minutes later I had reached the big road and was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. Small, deserted streets are usually prone to robbers or begal. I adjusted my breath while walking slowly beside the sidewalk which was illuminated by the yellow street light. The streets here start to rip and there are some carts selling beside the sidewalk. I stopped at the fried rice cart and bought two packs. One for me and one for David.

By now David may have gone home to the apartment and must have been hungry. I sped up my pace and finally reached the bottom of the apartment building. It wasn't until five minutes, I was at the door and pressed the pin number under the knob. Before I finished pressing the last number, the door suddenly opened quickly.

"Where are you?" his eyes glistened with anger.

I ignored him and went through. The door slammed behind me.

"I bought some fried rice for you." I said patiently

"Where have I asked you?" ask again.

This time he pulled my hand until the spoons fell cluttering on the floor.

"Can you see, right? I shop and buy fried rice for you." I replied annoyed

I clasped his hands firmly and glared at him. Strange man. Why that angry.

"Why not pick up the phone?" ketus

"My phone's in the bag. Silent." I replied as it passed

But David pulled my hand back violently.

"I'm worried you know?" jaw hardens.

"No." my opponent.

"Absolutely answer the phone!" snapped

"I don't think you should be angry at that. I told you my phone was silent. If you don't listen, how can you answer your call? Why are you so worried anyway? We're nobody anymore. The drama is over, right?" I sit at the dining table.

"We're dating" he said after a few seconds of silence.

My hand that was about to open the rubber package of fried rice also came to a halt. To understand for a moment what David said. You mean we're dating or we're asking me out?

"Huh?" this is all that can come out of my mouth.

"I said we're dating" he said.

His eyes did not look like he was joking and even seemed to be collecting debts.

"Since when?" much

",From now on."

David pulled me violently for the umpteenth time until the chair I was sitting on slammed on the floor. He grabbed me. Maybe more precisely hugging me. I let my head lean on his chest for about thirty seconds and broke away from his embrace.

"Davids. I'm being honest."

My throat was dry from nervousness. I know what David was thinking. If I continue, he'll just be like a second Tony. I can't. Not to repeat.

"I don't like you. But I know if I reject you, I'll lose it all. Maybe you also know that then I lift the suitcase out of the door of this apartment, I will officially be homeless. I also know that you're using my current condition to play tricks on me."

I breathe long and try hard. Perhaps these words of mine are too careless, given my unfavorable condition. Maybe I'll regret it in a minute. It's possible that David would take offense and throw me out without a suitcase.

"I'm not Tony. Don't equate me with him."

He grunts. His face is slandered.

"You are not him. But one day you'll be like him who thinks I'm disgusting."

My heart felt squeezed as the scene repeated itself in my brain.

"I wouldn't do that." Buy off

"As Tony says, every time we make love, you'll always remember him. You will always imagine and guess how Tony did it to me. And it will always be in your brain spinning continuously until you finally give up. Then the one who got hurt was me." I'm taking a breath. "Sorry David, I don't want to anymore. I'd rather be homeless, die on the streets better than the pain you'll leave me."

"I don't know what to tell you to believe. But I'm gonna prove I'm serious about you."

"How do you prove it?" my challenge

"In this way."

David pulled my head and kissed me in a fast rhythm. His body led my legs back towards the corridor. My back hit the wall while David started taking off his shirt.

David will regret it. It would be a nightmare for him. It may also be the beginning of my long nightmare.