Sun Princess & Snow Prince
Episode 85: Zaid's Heart (My Stupid Love 1)

'People who are bodh*.'It's a stamp I always give to those who I think are acting too weird just for claiming to love someone.

I saw that bod*h love when the tormented Mama was born and inner, always smiling bitterly every time I suggested to part with Papa. He never budged from his belief that love would turn Papa into what he was. Evidently, Papa never changed, and fortunately he just left after divorcing Mama unilaterally. Get out of my life and Mama.

I thought that was the first stupidity I saw. Apparently not, years later I met Uncle. Good-natured but bod*h man who would have married a widow with a teenager like me.

Uncle does not care about the distance between Kualalumpur Jakarta, or Mamaku who is just an ordinary shop owner with himself who is a successful businessman, or cultural differences between us, or even at my protest as his stepson.

Uncle only smiled when I asked him why. "Because I love your mother, Zaid."

And he's not the last one.

One more is my own High School friend. Name's Ajie. He's the new kid who moved into our school. L like it. Although he's a little weird.

Unintentionally while he was practicing us, I saw a photo of a little boy in his wallet. I thought it was his sister. Turns out...

"Oh this? It's Lily. This is my future wife."

Whaties??? How could such a child be his future wife? Weird right? And of course. bodh*

Years later, I again witnessed another folly. Natasha tries to attract Ajie's attention but always fails. Letting yourself pursue uncertainty. Then sacrifice his career and be humiliated. Wh-wh-what for? He said it was all because of love. Natasha smiles happily when Lily and Ajie get married.

Even when Natasha fell in love again... He forgets everything, including his image as a famous artist just to love a?

That's why I always avoid it. What is love for when it only tortures? Why romance if you just make yourself a bod*h person?

Over thirty years I have proven that without love I can succeed. Look at The Crown, the company I built with my own hands! At my age, I can become President Director by building it from scratch.

Of love?

It was just a little piece of cake, an unnecessary sweetener of life. I won't be tempted easily. My work, which is always related to many women, did not make my promise fade.

In fact, finally, the beautiful faces that became my tool to produce success for the sake of success for The Crown. Countless advertisements were produced by The Crown relying on the beautiful faces of my models.

Until I met a girl named Avelia.

I have to admit her face is beautiful. But if I just look at his face, my heart will not be moved. More peranakan-faced models were much prettier than her.

But the girl had unique eyes. Eyes that always shine brightly but like the eyes of a child. Plain and easy to read. His fear, his sadness, his joy were clearly reflected in the look in his eyes.

For the first time I felt like I wanted to keep staring into those eyes. The eyes that made me feel at home with him.

Then I was surprised at myself.

I have never been afraid of losing someone. Not after I lost everything I had all those years ago. Not after I had no one but my stepfamily in Kualalumpur. Seeing Ave's tiny body almost run over by a speeding car, my heart seemed to stop beating.

Is this love?

What if his weakness hurt him? What if his reckless nature makes him wretched? What if his bad habits make him sick?

It's not that I don't want to avoid it. I'm trying. Very loud and go very far from Jakarta. But what's the outcome?

Never had my head felt numb like this, my heart was like it was pinched and my eyes were hard to shut to sleep. I just found out why people say misses are torture! And what tormented my heart the more I didn't see him, the more I worried about him.

But I'm telling you, don't believe a woman's words just like that even if she seduces you like honey!

I think Ave likes me too. I thought she was in love with me like me. Apparently not!

I had to work hard just to prove I really loved her. In the process, I was the one with the heartache. Ave said she's been in love and that made her fall in love.

That's why I understand that love is cruel. I now understand why Mama is so loyal to Papa. At least I inherited that unyielding trait from Mama, because I never wanted to back down after believing I loved that girl.

Thirty more years I live in this world. Just this time I loved and found someone like Ave. If I take it off, it means I'm the real bod*h. After all, I always managed to get what I wanted.

When I thought that after winning Ave's heart, having a wonderful day and being able to embrace her as her future husband, things would go easily and smoothly, love fooled me once again.

He's the brother of someone I've avoided the most in the world. The man who hated me after I betrayed his trust as a friend.

I understand now. This is the time for love to let go...

But I can't help myself. Ave is too precious to let go. I was too scared to see him sad. I didn't even feel any pain when the car hit me.

I just feel like my heart hurts so much to see my little girl crying over me. It was much more torturous. Let them say I am a bod*h man, willing to die in the name of love. But for the safety of the woman I love most, I am truly sincere.

I want it to be so simple, I just want to be with Avelia. Forever until death do us part. Even if death does separate I want Avelia to be my bidad in heaven.

It's just that on top of my love, there's Ajie and Papa Avelia's love. The middle-aged man was sick and I couldn't let my Avelia cry out of confusion. I can't let him lose the only parent he has. I know what it's like to be alone, and I don't want my pretty girl to feel it.

And I know, everybody would say that leaving was the dumbest decision ever.

I changed my phone number, I sent back all of Avelia's belongings to her house. I go, as far as my feet go. I went home to Zahra's. Just smile and breathe.

But I told my stepbrother that. "Please don't ask me why, brother! It's. It's very heavy."

Yes, it is very heavy to hold tears so as not to fall in front of the woman I love besides Ave. Fortunately, my brother nodded and smiled.

Zahra just hugged me and whispered, "God will give you the best mate, Zaid. No one can oppose his destiny."

Prayer, I really need that now. So I gave it up to God, praying at night when my eyes were too hard to close.

I can only ask God to take care of her, to look after her father and the family of Avelia, because only by praying for her do I feel calm.

To whom else do I leave my heart and heart but the Owner of the Universe?