Sunset Mentions on Paradise Island
He's Not Him

He pushed me so hard that my body fell to the floor, I could only cry to see his attitude change

he said that he could not stand all of it anymore

I don't understand, whether he can't stand our relationship anymore, what has actually been just pretending² loves me , what is that he means by not taking it anymore

but after he took out a picture to show me, I finally understood

he pushed me away while showing me a picture in his hand

he pulled me, for I saw him clearly

I grabbed the photo, I was confused why in one photo there are two people in the same

is it just an edit

I tried to ask her who she was if she was really my lover whom I was looking for, I didn't understand at all

is he not my girlfriend I've been looking for, who I've always wanted to meet

why are there two people in the same picture, then who is he ? and where's the ferry ?

he cried, yelled, sat down in front of me, said he couldn't stand it anymore and then took me away

I don't know who she is, whether she's my lover or not

in my mind whether my lover is a twin

in the car he said I wasn't him

then I said if he was not my lover, why not tell me from the beginning , why should I pretend² to be my lover

I yelled at her, where's the ferry, take me to meet her

he continued to increase the speed of his car until he was hit at a public funeral

he drew me to a new grave upon which there remained a sprinkling of flowers that had withered

he pushed me so hard that my body fell on the new grave

I held the ground, not daring to look at the shell

I cried, perasperangku like his right, I asked him to meet me with the ferry, but why did he bring me to the grave instead

the world is dark, and black doesn't know what to do

as the spirit will be taken out of this body, my hands tremble, my legs limp, the sight of the se will refuse to look at the sign above the new grave

I tried to get up the courage to look at the name on the padung board

turns out to be my lover, that's my lover's name

I touched the moist soil, as if wet with tears

my world is instantly dark , the lanterns in my heart are right² extinguished , not willing , not iklas , why everything happens to me

why did the ferry die, I'm sure the same angel who still took my mother's life at that time turned out to have taken my lover's life ,everyone I love has been taken away by her

the sun has been extinguished, the lantern has been depleted of its fuel, he has been buried with the light in my life

I tried to dig up that new mound of dirt, couldn't accept why no one told me before

I'm so crazy to dig it up for me to bring the body home

why at that time my lover never told me that he was a twin

my lover's twin's the end of telling me all her true events

he could no longer bear all the secrets

moreover, he is not willing to be considered a ferry by me , even if he is right² fell in love with me , he just wants to be considered as his self that is fiki not ferry

and also he did not willingly see the ferry carrying all the pain, and the wound to the end of his life while his self lived with such good health and his end should snatch me from the ferry, the,replaced the ferry for myself even though the ferry was gone

he had to tell her everything so as not to misunderstand

he told me to stand up and try to calm me down

but limp feet don't want to stand

he said that my lover had been suffering from congenital diseases, namely heart defects

had I known, or the ferry told her before, I would have loved to accompany her in her last days

my biggest distraction was not accompanying her in her last²

so stupid I didn't know my own lover had such a deadly disease

fiki said after graduating from school that year, he had gone to work to sebrang, while the ferry settled in his hometown because he wanted to spend the rest of his life in his hometown

while fiki why he chose to work in sebrang because it was his father's hometown, he worked in his father's family company

the rest of the ferry's life accidentally met me , his first love , as well as me , he was a very special man in my life

it turns out that during the ferry relationship with me he did not dare to tell me his illness because he was afraid it would make me sad

fiki said again that my lover went to work to the sebrang it was actually just a pretext for me to cover up the situation

the truth is, when the disease gets worse and will soon meet its death, and do not want me to know the truth, there is,then he lied to me saying that he would work across the street and then come back after three years

but who sangaka after five months of his departure across the street I followed him, making fiki confused not knowing what to do, he said,do you have to keep his promise on the ferry to keep pretending² to be the ferry to remain my lover, or have to explain the real incident

fiki also told me that my boyfriend told me a lot about me before his departure, told me everything we've ever done

the ferry planning was very mature prior to his departure

he did not want to see me disappointed, sad, lonely because of his departure, finally he asked his twin to replace and pretend to be him

why fiki says all of her now, because she very much can't stand the charade anymore, she doesn't want to pretend² is a ferry , she doesn't want to seize the woman belonging to her twin sister

fiki reneges on her promise to her twin sister, to tell her all

I know whatever he's doing, who he's talking to, but there's one thing he's hiding: he's hiding about his twin brother and his illness

as long as the ferry was living with me he never told me about his twin brother, maybe it was his intent and purpose ,so that his twin brother will continue to replace his position for my name after his departure

he wants his truth buried with his perpetual self

fiki said that he could have reneged on his promise not to tell me his true truth, but he couldn't renege on his promise that he promised to on the ferry to always look after me ,accompany me, comfort me for life

he told me to stand up from the grave of my lover, he asked me to apologize because before he had pretended² to be a ferry

at first the fiki refused the request of the ferry, that is to keep the promise that the ferry gave him for the last time , but he could not bear to also see me who missed the ferry, while he was a fiki

although twin ferries are ferries, fiki is fiki, fiki can never be a ferry