The Gema Shahadah Aisyah
Hilya's Feelings

When Renata opened his eyes, he saw Aisyah nearby. He blinked a few times to make sure he didn't see wrong. Renata fell ill a few days after Aisyah left, wanting to find out where Aisyah was but Jaya forbade her. Jaya always said that Aisyah was an adult and could not do anything bad to herself. But still as a mother, Renata kept thinking about her eldest daughter. Whether Aisyah lives well, eats and breaks regularly, during this time Renata who ensures all the needs of her children are met.

Renata often dreams of Aisyah at night and cries when she wakes up. Renata promised that if Aisha came home, whatever the circumstances, she would definitely receive Aisha back. Even though Aisha had changed her faith. Renata couldn't possibly let Aisyah be outside without her attention.

"Atalie," Renata held the back of Aisyah's dangled hand over her stomach. Renata could only see Aisyah's head covered in a headscarf but she was sure it was the child. Renata was so familiar with Aisyah even though her appearance was now much different.

"Wake up?" Aisyah raised her head, "sorry me Ma, I'm late to go home."

"Where are you staying?" Renata straightened her body aided by Aisyah, she rubbed Aisyah's cheek.

"I live in a comfortable place." Aisyah squandered into her mama's arms.

"But you're a little darling." Renata wondered what Aisyah ate until her body looked thinner.

"Mama is also thin, Mama don't diet anymore." Aisyah knows Renata is very keeping eating but this time her mama looks thinner than usual.

"Atalie, this is your house, you can only stay here."

"Yes, but Mama needs to be healthy again."

"Mama's healed when you came." Renata looked at Aisyah's face fixed, she missed Aisyah so much in this house.

Aisyah went up to Renata's bed and told her that she had been living with Umar's family and the children of such good santri. Aisyah only tells good things, she misses the incident of oil splashes, her hands are often injured because they are not careful when using a knife or when her eyes sore when cutting onions. It was a valuable experience but it couldn't be told to my mom.

Aisyah just remembered after her mama sleep that she had left Umar in front. Aisyah immediately came out of her mama's room and went downstairs hoping that Umar would still be there. But there was no one in the yard even Jaya's car was not parked there. Aisha ran out the gate, sure enough, Umar was gone.

"Forget over Umar and focus on yourself!" Aisyah clenched her hands trying to encourage herself, she would keep remembering Maryam's saying that she should focus on improving herself instead of being busy thinking about others. If Aisyah was busy thinking about Hilya whose sholehah she could not reach she might run out of energy.

The spacious house felt very quiet because Aisyah was used to living in a pesantren filled with santri sounds. Something was missing after he returned to this house. Perhaps he should also learn to recite Umar. Didn't Umar deserve a better woman than him?

"It's just a minute." Aisyah muttered as she stepped in, she would be at home all day because there was so much to do.

******

After returning home, Umar found Hilya had arrived. Hilya was picked up by Khalid and Khawla this morning because the trip to Lumajang took quite a long time even though it was only separated by one district.

They had planned to buy a handover accompanied by Khawla because Umar knew nothing about the handover he had to buy for the proposal. Actually the one who made the plan was their family, Umar himself just obeyed their request.

"Assalamualaikum, sorry for making Ning wait."

"Waalaikumussalam, it's okay, I just arrived." Hilya sumringah saw Umar coming.

"Why not go in?"

Hilya had entered earlier but she wanted to see the atmosphere of the cottage here so she went around for a while and ended up in this gazebo.

"I've asked Ummi to accompany you." Umar told Hilya. He sat in the gazebo with a distance of about one meter, they sat at each end of the gazebo.

"Gus Umar is not coming?" Ask Hilya.

"I don't understand that, Ummi and Mbak Khawla understand better so they are the ones who accompany you."

Hilya smiled bitterly behind her veil, a sense of pain running through her chest. The feeling is not wrong anymore that Umar likes a girl named Aisyah who lives here. The girl was indeed beautiful, her skin was pure white with a pair of beautiful eyes.

"May I ask you something?"

"Please Ning."

"We have known each other since childhood but there is actually a lot that I do not know about Gus Umar, the matchmaking of Gus and I have gone so far but I never asked how I felt Umar towards me, so I guessed what if it was just that happy while Gus was not."

Umar remained calm to get the question because he was sure that one day Hilya would ask.

"Please don't give me such a question." Umar is unlikely to answer questions that could eventually hurt Hilya's feelings.

"That's the answer I really want to know."

"I have great respect for Ning Hilya as Kyai Abizar's daughter so I can't refuse this matchmaking."

"That doesn't answer my question at all Gus."

"Does it matter if Ning Hilya lives with someone who doesn't love Ning?"

Hilya's world crumbled when the phrase came from the mouth of Umar—lelaki whom she had admired for a long time even though she never revealed it. Not only as an older sister, Hilya views Umar as a man she can fall in love with.

"There's another girl Gus likes?" Hilya ventured to ask even though she already knew the answer.

"My answer will probably hurt Ning Hilya so I won't answer it."

"What if I still want to continue this matchmaking, let's just say I don't know if Gus likes Aisyah."

"I really like it."

"Did he know?"

"He doesn't know."

"Why didn't Gus reveal it?"

"Because we've already been betrothed, it's free for me to reveal it."

Hilya is arrogant, Umar could have rejected the matchmaking and said he already likes other girls so they will not get to the stage so far.

"We will continue this match." Hilya said steadily as she moved from there because she saw Maryam and Khawla come out.

"Let's go." Maryam said, instead of riding in Umar's old car, they boarded Khalid's better car because they wanted to treat Hilya well. "Come on Umar." His appeal to Umar who was still glued to the gazebo as if something was troubling his mind. Hilya pretended not to know what Umar was thinking right now. Hilya does not care even though Umar does not love her, after marriage—love will accompany her. Love is not obligatory in marriage.

"Umar doesn't follow Ummi." Umar said at last.

"Why don't you have no teaching schedule today?"

Umar deliberately emptied his teaching schedule because he wanted to take Aisyah. This made Umar feel guilty towards Hilya. Hilya shouldn't be double-numbered. But in the heart of Umar, there was none but Aisha.

"Ummi and Mbak Khawla will definitely choose all the best for Ning Hilya, so I don't need to come along."

"Alright then, let's Hilya." Maryam let Hilya in the car. They will go to the nearest shopping center to buy.

Hilya looked at Umar through the car window, Umar increasingly seemed to not want their marriage.

******

Because Umar did not buy the application, instead he drove Hilya home in Khalid's car. The 4-hour trip will probably feel longer because there is no chat there. Idham who accompanied Hilya also quietly—sibuk read the book in his hands. Umar is also not good at starting a chat especially with Hilya who incidentally is the daughter of a person he respects. Especially after their serious conversation this morning, Umar increasingly pursed his lips tightly reluctant to issue a word.

Only the roar of the car engine dominated. Cold pierced the skin as the car entered the winding mountain road of gumitir that connects Banyuwangi and Jember. Umar lowers the speed of the car, on the left side there are high cliffs overgrown with various trees while on the right is a ravine so he must be extra careful. It was a road made in the Dutch colonial period that employed the indigenous population without wages and rest.

The journey is still long, Umar is busy thinking about what if this matchmaking continues. Can they be happy? happiness is not the only purpose of marriage but it would be wonderful if they fill the house worship with love and happiness.

From the beginning Hilya was certainly superior but the heart could not choose to whom she would fall. Umar did not want to make Aisha a second choice. But now whether Umar still has the right to choose even though all the needs of the application have been purchased.

Hilya's gaze bowed, occasionally she saw the scenery outside the window that was actually not interesting. He had been excited since last night to imagine this day but it turned out that everything was not in accordance with his shadow.

"How about we stop by the front mosque for the dhuhur prayer." Umar said after checking the watch on his left hand.

"Can." Hilya and Idham answered.

Umar stopped the car in front of the mosque, he and Idham immediately went down followed by Hilya.

"Ning Hilya." Call Umar.

Hilya stopped the steps of turning her back on seeing Umar.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"What about?"

"On that matter, I already offended Ning Hilya."

"It's okay, I'm sure Gus will try to fix it anyway we'll get married." Hilya went ahead of Umar.