The Regrets of the Child and Husband
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It was late, but Amar could not close his eyes. Amar's mind was completely confused. Even to see the state of Aliyah alone made Amar afraid himself.

Slowly, Amar moved from his seat. He was standing at the door of the ICU room where Aliyah was being treated. Because the condition of Aliyah that requires close supervision makes it stay there.

With trembling hands, Amar wanted to open the door of the room. At the same time it turned out that the door had been opened by a nurse who also wanted to get out of there. He had just finished doing regular checks on Aliyah.

Amar was allowed to see the state of Aliyah, but not arbitrarily people were allowed to enter there. To get in there also requires special clothes.

"You want to see how Bu Aliyah is doing?" ask the nurse who knows that Amar is the husband of Aliyah.

Amar nodded. The nurse asked him to wear special clothes to get inside. After wearing the special uniform, Amar was allowed to enter the room which was filled with various medical equipment.

With the defense Amar stepped his feet closer to the bed where Aliyah was lying with several hoses attached to her body.

Wildeyed. Instantly his eyes heated up when he saw Aliyah's state that really made his breathing tight. Aliyah's hair was almost bald. Not to mention such a thin body. Almost like a bone wrapped in skin. Now Amar realized, why a few months Aliyah always wore a full gamis with her hijab even though she was at home. It seemed like he deliberately wanted to cover up his true state of being. Either what the purpose is, it could be because of shame, not confidence, or do not want to make him worry. Or it could be because he does not want to be more ilfil to leave it.

Amar sat down and then sobbed in a piteous state. How did he not realize that his wife was not okay all this time. Why he was so foolish never to pierce every complaint of his wife. Why did he not find out the reason Aliyah who continued to wear the full robe with her hijab even while sleeping. Why would he be able to do that with his own wife? Why is he so cruel to his wife and mother of his children?

Though Aliyah often complained of headaches that sometimes never heal and if it healed only a few moments, then tomorrow or the day after relapse again. Once Aliyah said she wanted to see a doctor because of her headache that never healed, but Amar was angry. He said that Aliyah was too cunning. Likes to complain, and a variety of other painful speech. Aliyah never complained again. Despite the pain, he chose silence and swallowed the pain himself.

'Mas, I want to see a doctor. My headache is not healing. I want to go to Temenin, right?'

Amar snorted, 'basic whiny. Little complaining. Little complaining. Just a headache just want to see a doctor, ngabis-ngabisin money aja.'

'We use BPJS, Mas. So no need to pay.' Aliyah continued to try to persuade her husband.

'Just buy medicine at the stall why the hell? Usually that too. Don't have much behavior. Waste of time and energy. At least the ends are packed Paracetamol so mending directly buy drugs at the stall aja. Same time. It makes no difference. Do not check with the doctor. In the stalls are also many powerful headache medications. You are a crybaby. Headache doang want to see a doctor, ' Amar's nagging no matter what Aliyah feels.

Aliyah was silent. From then on, Aliyah completely harbored her pain alone. Aliyah's confidence collapsed as her hair slowly continued to fall out, making her almost bald. Aliyah's body was also getting thinner. He often has difficulty eating to make his stomach acid often rise. Not to mention every headache medicine, surely his stomach was instantly poignant. Aliyah sometimes confused herself, when taking headache medicine, then her stomach will be painful, but if not eaten medicine, then the headache will be increasingly become. Boro-boro disappeared, which there is even more torturing him.'

While being stunned in solitude and loneliness, Amar's phone shook. Seen him, who contacted him turned out to be Nafisa. It was midnight, but the woman had not slept. But Amar refused to take up the call. All he had in mind right now was the wife of Aliyah.

Already several calls from Nafisa Amar ignored. Until I don't know how many calls, Amar began to get upset. But when he saw the call from Nana, Amar immediately worried.

Amar immediately raised the call.

"Hello, Na. What's up?"

"Well, Gaffi same Amri crying again. Gaffi also had his fever go up again. Nana's confused. Nana how is it going?" nana said with a slightly hoarse and vibrating voice. It seems that her daughter has been crying for quite a while.

Amar scooped his face in frustration. He glimpsed Aliyah who still closed her eyes and then let out a long sigh.

"At the end of the day, Dad's home. You are patient, Na," said Amar Lirih.

Nana nodded even though Amar did not see her at all. Then the call was closed.

"Al, you stay first! Gaffi and Amri cry and keep looking for you. You wake up dong! You don't like them?" said Amar lirih. "Mas stay first. Hopefully, after Mas comes back, you've opened your eyes."

Late night, making the cries of his two sons sound so loud that they came out of the house. But no one heard because his right and left neighbors were not at home. So at least Amar felt calm because he did not disturb his neighbor with the cry of the child.

Amar went straight into the house. Amri fell into a sling. Still like before, Amri did not seem to like if he carried her. Same with Gaffi. The 5-year-old boy immediately hid under his blanket. Amar's heart was squeezed by invisible hands. Really sick. He was rejected by his own children. Maybe this is due to him not paying so much attention to the growth and development of both. Though the age like the two of them is an age that requires attention and abundant affection from both parents, but Amar was indifferent. For her, her job is just to make a living, while the affairs of children and households are all the duties and obligations of Aliyah as a housewife.

Ignoring Amri's rejection, Amar continued to try to calm the 2-year-old toddler while fondling him. But his son was still crying.

"Amri what do you want, son? Don't cry anymore! Later the sound will be like a frog, Amri want?" said Amri who this time a little soft. His son's mental worries are disturbed when he raises his voice again.

Amri was still crying, but not as loud as before. Maybe it's because it's getting tired, so it's not like that. But Amri still hates. Even as his eyes slowly closed he was still as unwilling. Amar could not speak.

Amar wants to put Amri in bed, but Amri whines. By force, Amar again carried Amri. Instantly a flash of memory where Amri was sick and continued to cry at night made Aliyah have to keep carrying him. Amar closed his eyes, only then he realized, how heavy Aliyah's task really was. But in the morning, he scolded her for waking up.

With Amri carried, Amar tried to approach Gaffi who was still hiding behind a blanket. There was a sound from inside there. Gaffi doesn't seem to be sleeping, but he's afraid to see his own father.

"Gaffi, it's dad! Are you asleep?" ask Amar slowly. But Gaffi doesn't criticize. Choosing to be safe, Amar just rubbed Gaffi's head from behind a blanket.

Seeing her father's arrival, Nana smiled with relief. He could sleep too, he thought.

It doesn't feel like it's coming anymore. Sunlight had even penetrated through the cracks of the window glass in the house. Amar gasp. He's bad luck today. Amar squeezes her hair in frustration. He may return late to the office.

Slowly, Amar laid Amri who was still asleep. After that, he rushed to take a shower. Coming out of the bathroom, he glimpsed an empty bed.

"Aliyah, where are my clothes?" amar shouted as if he had forgotten the fact that Aliyah was being treated in the hospital at this time.

"Aliyaaah .. My clothes are in-ma-na."

Brukkka ...

Amar suddenly sat down. Unknowingly, he sobbed when he remembered Aliyah was not there. Aliyah, not in that house. Aliyah is being treated in the hospital.

Though only 2 days Aliyah was admitted to the hospital, but why does it feel like so long.

Nana who was ready with her school uniform stood in front of Amar's room. Seeing her father sobbing, Nana unconsciously also sobbed.

"Dad, when will you be back?" nana asked with a trembling voice.

Amar lifted his face and shook his head.

"Dad ... Don't know. Mom's condition isn't okay yet."

And the two cried together.

...***...

...HAPPY READ & ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________...