The Retaliation of a Wife Considered a Household Parasite
144: Turn Left There is Hell, Turn Right There is Heaven But Not Surely Accept
“Tumben this hour has gone home, Mr Gede? Usually be a genie housekeeper mbak Arum?” said Septi deliberately stopped by the house of Mr. Haji.
“My message is a selling genie whose job is to spit food, yes?” reply Pak Haji with rest while staying asleep on the long sofa of the family room which is very soft. No less soft than the body Septi which he immediately forbade sitting.
“Don't sit there! Ringsek's sofanya! Pity the couch if it gets ringsek! This is the sofa material of genuine stump crocodile leather!” Haji to sit down.
“Ya Alloh, Mr Gede! Time yes I have to follow, sitting on the floor this free?” septi immediately practices sitting on the front floor of the table which is the distance and Hajj sir.
“Nah should be. So gendatz aka fat people should be self-conscious!” balak Pak Haji is still relaxed.
“Calm down, Mr. Gede, fast soon, I must be slim again!”
“Slim is not as short as a dragonfly bath, Sep! Slim is more complicated than his love Siti Nurbaya! Later there, instead of fasting to be slim, you even more stretched because eating it often revenge!” reply Pak Haji.
“Yes already, if that's how I make liposuction, Mr. Gede. Let me slim again!”
“Your models make liposuction?” haji asked to make sure and in front of him, Septi was immediately busy nodding. “Bentar, ... charge you liposuction let you slim down again? Yes mending the cost to mate again lah.” And Pak Haji immediately sang, “His joy is in the heart, if you have a lot of chants. This world feels like its own!”
“Eddyaaaan! Gede sir stress, ah!” septi was upset, but he remembered that the old man before him wanted Fatimah's mother to be his wife.
“Cepetan! I'll help you let Mamah want to be with Pak Gede!” sure Septi.
Pak Haji gradually sat down properly staring at Septi. “Gini yeah, Sep. In addition to a kind of liposuction especially if the reason is only for beauty, it does not seem to be justified by God because of the instant way, ..Fear it is not slim, you are direct! Jump bablas to the afterlife, continue to turn left in a moment of hell, turn right there is Heaven but do not want to accept, .. feel use accurate GPS so!”
“Ih, Mr Gede! The important liposuction is not in place abal-abal let alone pay it also not to credit or even debt. Let's do it not half-and-half!” septi protests whine but Pak Haji immediately cuek and choose to sleep again.
“If you want to slim ya healthy life. You want it slim, but eat it if it has not reached the stomach contents of the neck, still ggegiling. It's in your stomach like there's magicom on his stomach overlaid what a pot of sugar pans. You know that sugar skillet that makes that brown sugar, right?”
“Ya Alloh Pak Gede tuh pan big. A pig only fits when it sleeps in it. The time is so big it is in my stomach and before that there is also a pan of the same magicom?!” Septi almost cried.
Haji sir is still cute. “Until now I am still confused. The one that Dawn saw you, what, then? In fact I feel, Supri same Angga lucky to be separated from you. This is Dawn to marry you. It is about surrendering to the abyss of misery. Gendutz as you think is also not good, soft but hard! Ah must be bad ah, anyway. Want you on top, there is your husband if he is as straight as Dawn, not a round has gone straight to the afterlife, keep turning left there is hell and ready to suffer, he said, or right there is heaven but not necessarily receive!”
“Ya Alloh Pak Gede, ..nyepelein really!”
“Nyepelein what? Don't you know that I am a traveller of love? My experience is no less. Yes, just a suggestion from me. If you can every day you just eat a grain of rice aking, the crotch is a crotch. Know, right? Rice that is dried because it does not run out continues to be deliberately cooled and often made to eat livestock?”
“Ya Alloh Pak Gede even nyamain me the same cattle!”
“Even good livestock if processed correctly, .. lah you, like an elephant sitting there! Already ... already, anyway starting this second you must diet! Gini-gini I'm also ashamed that the same way young women but as big as you! Mumpung is not too late because if it is obese it is usually difficult to handle. If you are thin, there is your body is also that gelambir-gelambir. Ih serem, still look forward to the wewe gombel!”
“Ya mandatory, .. before you go straight to hell. Even if you die too, if you stay this big, there you are not carried using a coffin, but directly wrapped in a tarp continue to be wrapped around until the hole!” sure sir Haji.
Hearing him, Septi increasingly ngenes stared at the unbelief of Mr. Gede who he had considered as a substitute for his papa. “I'm still alive gini kok ya already given estimated burial.”
“That's his name tesimoti!” said pak Haji.
“Testimoti!” septi corrected.
“Ah, taiii, ah!” reply Pak Haji who then asked the reason as well as the intention of the arrival of Septi there. Because in addition to asking for liposuction cost support, Pak Haji believes Septi has other intentions.
“You want to find your father? I think he got an apem pellet! Time is right up to you guys. It's unnatural of that. If I send a prayer for him too, his aura is dark!” said Pak Haji after hearing complaints about the father who must be a marriage guardian.
“Send me to them can, right, Mr Gede?” septi became lackluster.
“Ngapain send-send teluh? Dear money! Mending directly datengin, your body will be fatz, banting them, crumbling all. If you were in jail, it would be just a minute. I am sebasin.”
“How did I get to jail, Mr Gede? Yes not married!” peeved Septi.
“Why are you afraid of prison? Example of Arun dong! Gebukiin Angga what Dawn, without fear of imprisonment. As long as you are right, hayoo gaaas do not love sagging!” support the Hajj sir.
“Hah? Mas Fajar has also been pebukiin same mbak Arum?” Septi was really shocked because he just found out.
“Lahh, do you not know yet? Yes, you missed news!” sindir pak Haji's.
“Serious sir Gede, I really don't know.”
“Well, he said he wanted to marry you don't know?”
“Ih original sir Gede!” sure Septi.
“Oalah you, actually missed the jamrud when it used to be fatal! Uh, viral too!” sure Mr. Haji who then said, “Ya already there you go home, it's already night. Friday night, Rasull sunnah time. I do not want to lose to Kalandra who every day can five times.”
“Ealah, ... Gede sir said what the hell, not very clear!” Septi was immediately risi if discussing such a thing.
Pak Haji laughed, and promised Septi would help him. “Tomorrow we leave for Magelang, samperin your father!”
Septi immediately nodded in alert. “Oke, Mr. Gede. If this one, I agree!”