The Shadow Of Love
I feel like living a kara

I saw the look on his face suddenly moody after I called him Big Brother. There was a look of disappointment on that handsome face. He didn't say it, but I can feel it. 

A few questions came to my mind. Is he that serious in his words. Does he really have that deep feeling for me, someone he just knew? But I was too cowardly to ask him that. 

Not long after, a woman came carrying a tray containing two bowls of chicken noodles and our ordered drinks. The arrival of the seller managed to melt the tension that had occurred between me and him. 

"Thank you, Ma'am," I told the seller.

"Together, Mother. Please enjoy it" he said kindly. 

The seller resumed his work of serving other buyers. He was still silent even though his hand started pouring the sauce into his bowl of chicken noodles. 

"All right, dong, brother!" I cried while pushing the bowl in front of him. 

Her face grew even more upset as I called her that name again. I know, maybe she expected more from the relationship as Big Brother and Sister. However, I cannot promise anything uncertain. My feelings have been tied to someone who has been a year back to be my encouragement. Our relationship has been getting colder lately. 

His frustration did not make him ignore my request. He still poured the sausage into my bowl. It's just that his mouth is still tight. 

"Again, sister" I asked as she stopped her activities. 

"Not much saos. Later your stomach hurts," he said in a flat tone. 

The corner of my lips raised to form a thin arch. It turned out that even though he was sulking, he still cared and cared for me. Things I rarely get from people around me. 

"A little bit, where's enough?" ask me to protest. 

"Enough. Most of it is not good for health." He pushed my bowl of chicken noodles in front of me. 

"Yes, deh. Thanks" said I, who did not want to argue much.

We started to enjoy the food sold on the side of the road in silence. I feel a little weird when he doesn't talk much. But I also refused to start the conversation. 

After finishing eating the chicken noodles. We decided to go home. The night is getting late. We spent a long time together. 

He drove me home until I got to the yard. He was still as silent as before. I don't know what made him so disappointed when I called him that. In fact, I think my call for her is a special call. All this time, I never called another man Big Brother. 

"Sister, thank you, yes," I said sincerely. 

He gave a small nod, then directly turned on his motor. A little strange feeling spread in my heart. It feels like it's quiet like this, it's really bad. 

"Sister" called me carefully. 

He looked at me, but his hand was about to turn the motor gas. Not wanting him to leave in a state of annoyance, I held his arm slowly.

"Sister won't leave me, will he?" The question just got away without me noticing. 

"No," he answered briefly, his tone still sounded flat.

"That call, I never gave it to anyone else, you see, brother." Honey, these words are only capable of being revealed in my heart. 

Just a nod of the head he gave. I know, maybe the annoyance and disappointment he felt had not subsided. I couldn't possibly force him to understand, right? 

After I let go of him, he again drove his iron horse away from me. I stared at the sturdy body until it moved away, then it only looked like a black dot because it had been really far away. 

I set my feet to enter the house with my hands carrying a black plastic bag, filled with chicken noodles she had bought for my family. When I just walked in, Mom immediately looked at me with a lot of questions. The look of worry in that wrinkled face. 

"Where are you from, Shay? I'm looking at your friends' house, no, no. Somebody saw you go with a boy, did Farid come home?" 

"Tasya went with Risqi, ma'am. Not the same Farid," I replied briefly, but managed to make Mother frown. 

"Sister Risqi, who is he, Sya?" 

"Tasya's friend, Mom," I replied again.

"Farid knows you're going with other men?" ask the mother I answered only with a headband. 

"Your son is an easy woman, Yu. So it is easy to be taken away by men without asking permission from parents," said the father who just came out from the direction in the house. 

Hearing my rude remarks, I just kept quiet. My lips twitched, it felt like I wanted to fight that cowardly man. Unfortunately, he was the one who brought me into the world. 

"Don't you just say anything, sir! He's our son" said Mother rebuking Father. 

"What if he's our son? His behavior is getting longer and longer. He's got parents, but he just goes kluyar-kluyur like a child has no parents." 

It's sad, that's how I feel right now. My parents said sarcasm like that. But what he said was true. Didn't I feel like I was living alone even though my parents were still complete? I really want to express my feelings. However, once again, I do not want to be an ungodly child who dares to fight parents. 

They didn't ask me why I left the house. What problems I am facing. They only thought about their own affairs without caring about their son who was being destroyed by the circumstances. 

"Mom, this is chicken noodle from Risqi. Tasya wants to come in, not shower and pray," I told Mother. 

As soon as the black bag in my hand had moved into my mother's hand, I immediately waltzed into the room. I picked up a change of clothes and rushed to the bathroom. 

"Look at that son of yours, Yu! Other than living without rules, he also had no manners. This is all because you failed in educating the children." 

I heard you again blame Mom. The old man never introspects himself for his attitude towards children. He should be able to think, why his children can behave like this. However, he never self-conscious bag his mistake. 

I decided to ignore the commotion that happened tonight. I hurried to clean myself up, then performed prayers that were a little late from the real time. As soon as I finished, I laid myself down on the weathered mattress that became my resting place from fatigue and drowsiness. 

I looked at the cell phone on the table. Suddenly, the look on the face of someone who had comforted me. I immediately took the phone. 

"I'll just call you back, okay?" my monologue before calling him. 

I haven't called him yet, my phone rings. Unfortunately, Farid's number is listed on the phone screen. 

With a heavy heart, I received a call from him. As soon as the call came, he said something that surprised me. 

"Well, get out now!"