The Shadow Of Love
The Hope That Doesn't Come

The middle-aged woman with the dark brown house negligee immediately grabbed onto my body very tightly. I returned her warm embrace with pleasure. Even though my heart was burdened by that fact, but I tried to be as calm as possible. 

After a while of hugging me, Mom broke her embrace. She looked at me with teary eyes. I know, Mother must be reminded of Brother Risqi who had already gone before us. 

"Mom how are you?" ask her. 

Mother immediately wrapped her hands around my arms, then said, "Come in first, Shay. We're talking inside, dad!"

I gave a small nod, my lips also carved a smile so that Mother did not directly talk about Kak Risqi's departure. My feet stepped inside the house, following Mom until she led me to sit on a chair. 

"What do you want to drink, honey?" ask her with her soft voice. My mother's treatment to me is still the same as it used to be. 

"What can you do, Mom." 

"Yes already. I made you some warm tea, yeah," she said in a slightly choked voice. Maybe you remember what Risqi said that prevented me from drinking ice. 

"Yes, ma'am" I replied kindly. 

The woman who actually had nothing to do with me but always treated me so well it passed her way inside the house. I am in that room alone now. Staring at this living room was still the same as before, nothing had changed. Only, my net was fixed on a picture frame I had never seen before. 

Intrigued, I got out of my seat, then swung a step towards the corner of the room, where there was a glass cabinet there. 

Netraku condenses instantly while staring at the photo inside the frame. The photo shows two human children standing next to a waterfall. In the photo, there is excitement emanating from the look on the faces of the two young people. 

"It turns out that my sister kept this photo" I said in a stifled voice, my lips shaking. 

"Tasya." The sound from behind made me look. Mother stood there with a sad face, her net even slightly reddened. 

"Mother why?" manyworry. I immediately put my foot closer to him. 

Mother immediately opened her eyes repeatedly while saying, "The blink earlier, Yes."

I know Mom lied, she tried to hide her feelings that must have been remembered by her youngest child who had died. I also understood very well that Mom was pretending to be tough in front of me. 

"Mother, yes," I said, reaching for the wrinkled hand. 

"Mom just misses, Shay," Mother replied still reasoned. 

"Yes, I must miss Risqi, right?" 

"Do you know?" mother asked, now the tears can no longer be dammed by him. 

"Sat Risqi's best friend has already met Tasya, Mom. He gave Brother Risqi a hand for me," I replied straightforwardly. 

"Mom is not wrong. What's the apology for?" 

"Mother feels guilty for following Risqi's request to hide her illness from you." Mom looked at me with regretful eyes. 

"Sister Risqi must have forced Mother, yes," I said with a smile. "He has never changed before .. always at will," said my friend who recalled how persistent Risqi approached me. 

"Yes," call Mom carefully. That woman must know how I feel right now. 

"She's sorry, yes, Mom." 

"You're not wrong, yes!" 

"The problem is wrong, ma'am. Tasya is completely insensitive to Risqi. Tasya should have understood the condition of Risqi. Tasya is not good at guarding Risqi," said I who now began to blame myself. The hatred that used to be ingrained in the heart for Risqi, now turned to hate myself. 

Mom pulled me back into her arms. I rubbed my head with love. From these wrinkled hands I could feel the sincerity that Mother had given me. 

"Don't blame yourself, Shay. This is all Risqi's decision. He doesn't want you to know about his pain. She forced Mom to keep her condition a secret back then" said Mother who tried to calm me down. But I just shook my head hard. 

I broke away from Mom's tight hold. "No, Ma. I should have been more sensitive even though Risqi didn't tell me about her pain. Half a year we were together, but I was not at all suspicious of Risqi's condition." I refute Mother's words. 

"Do you hate Risqi, Shay?" ask Mom suddenly. 

"No, Ma. Brother Risqi is the best man of my life," I replied honestly about my current feelings. However, hiding my feelings that I once really hated Risqi. 

"Would you like to visit Risqi's new home?" My mother offered me a visit to the tomb. 

"What can you do, Mom?" I asked while looking at that wrinkled face. 

"By, Sya. But it's afternoon now. What if you come here again tomorrow?" Mother gave advice because the day was almost magrib. 

"Good, Mom. Tomorrow Tasya is here again," I said in agreement with the advice given by Mother. 

When I was about to say goodbye, Mom held me down. Mom said she still wanted to tell me a lot. Not wanting to disappoint him, I said. I stayed there until almost eight o'clock. 

While we were there, we discussed a lot. Mother also told me about Risty's mother who was married and lived with her husband in the capital. 

"So now you're just living alone?" ask me when mom told me about her current life. 

"Yes, Yes. How else. Risty is a wife. She must obey her husband and go wherever he goes." Mother told me in a sad tone. "If only Risqi had married you, yes. I will definitely not be lonely because there are you who accompany me here," continued Mother who immediately stunned me.