To be the Second
Suudzon..

Aziz_PoV

*

Finished dinner with my four children, I immediately cleaned up our used equipment to eat brought it to the sink assisted by my eldest daughter Musdalifah. Doesn't feel like my daughter is a big girl now, she's going to high school soon.

Finished cleaning the dining table, Mus approached me." Abi just rest, let Neng alone continue washing it." He stood beside me. But I don't want to shift or retreat.

" Did Neng not learn? We're starting school tomorrow, aren't we?" I asked who was still continuing the dishwashing.

" So I've been studying Bi all day." His eagle looked down.

" Didn't follow the sisters, this Abi is done— Well already 'right? Let's go there." Take me to step into the middle room, look Hilda and Zikri who are playing finger counting.

" Abi, why hasn't Umi come home yet?" Ask my daughter Hilda who saw me coming with her Neng.

" Maybe soon, baby." I sat next to my son Aidan, he's my son who's more silent. While Zikri is smart to talk, there is always talk and also easy to get along with anyone, so do not be surprised if sometimes frequent checks of chocolate with Nengnya Hilda.

After a long time we were in the living room, chatting and watching entertainment on television, I finally asked everyone to sleep in their room, because the night was getting late.

" Mus, Aidan. Enter the room invite your grandfather to rest immediately. I'm gonna wake up in the morning, everybody's going to school, right? Don't forget to clean and brush your teeth." My words, which were immediately embraced by my four children, I am very grateful that all my children are obedient and very polite to parents.

After everyone had entered their rooms, I immediately turned off the lights of the unused room, don't forget I also checked the children if they were ready to sleep all before I went into the room.

After cleaning myself, I got into bed, but did not go straight to sleep. My mind is now thinking where does Nikmah go? Until this hour I just got home, I think Mus knows where Uminya went, but he prefers to keep quiet not to tell me. Naturally a child would definitely defend his mother, but he should have told me his Abinya.

Not wanting to think about Nikmah and my daughter, I grabbed my phone and tried to contact Anni, who knows she's waiting for me to come home tonight. Because I just want to make sure Nikmah doesn't come home tonight? And I need to know where he's going, because it's still my right as a husband to know his wife goes anywhere. Before long my call was immediately picked up by him.

" Assalamulaikum.." Apply it gently. Which can cool the heart.

" Waalaikumsalam, dear tonight Abi did not come, is it okay? No need to wait for Abi, quickly rest, do not stay up late is not good, let alone you are pregnant. Tomorrow morning Abi will be there, what to buy?" I asked, which he might want to eat something.

" Hmmm, it's okay. Then Anni rest yes Bang, already sleepy. Tomorrow buy green bean porridge I want to eat, and also buy yellow rice yes, lots of sambelnya. But it must be real yellow rice bandung, don't want anything else." Whine with spoiled.

Duh makes me anxious, I'm sure he was sad because I didn't accompany him, but he tried to cover it up. God, forgive me for hurting her heart..

" All right, tomorrow you buy it. Babe—maafin Brother yes, yes please sleep, do not turn off the phone. Brother will accompany you until Dedek sleeps ya." I heard him sigh slowly, and permission to go to the bathroom briefly left his phone still connected to me. Not long after, his voice came back.

" Bang, is Brother asleep? The phone is turned off, yes, I'm fine. Take a break." Her request.

I know she must be feeling bad for Nikmah. He must have thought of Nikmah sleeping beside me now, I was trying to understand. We soon ended our call. I'm still not sleepy, I saw a digital clock stuck to the wall, it's almost nine o'clock at night, where has Nikmah not come home yet?

Not so long ago I was like hearing the footsteps of someone who was getting closer to my room. Yes it must be Nimmah, my feelings so relieved now, I closed, pretending to be asleep.

And the door of the room opened, I opened my eyes a little to peek and I could see the silhouette, it must be unmistakable that she was my wife Nikmah. After putting down his mug drink, he walked to the bathroom to clean, before long he went out and sat on the edge of the bed.

Nikmah opened the drawer, seemed to be looking for something in there, then heard him grabbing the mug and drinking it. Did he just take the drugs? But what drugs? Is he sick? Not yet finished looking for the answer in my mind, he had already broken down, maybe because of the dark circumstances, he did not realize there was me next to him.

I heard him sigh heavily." Regretting it feels pointless right now." He said so softly, what did he mean just now? Regret what? I told myself to ask, let him be a little surprised to see me beside him, but I was more and more curious at the moment.

" What do I need to regret?" I asked half a whisper, he immediately turned to the side, I could see his tensed face. Like seeing a genie with a scary face. Astagfirullah..

" a-abi? Y-when's home?" Ask me nervously. What's wrong with her? Is there something he's hiding from me?

" What is regretted? And where did Umi come from, the clock just came home? Did Umi come home late every day like now?" My boy, who's trying to dig up his honesty.

" Oh, I'm sorry Umi Bi. Was Umi looking for Abi at her boarding house? But you guys haven't come home yet. On the way home, suddenly my friends met on the birthday of one of them, I finally stopped by the restaurant, where the event was held. Even the party isn't finished now, but I'm allowed to go home first, because I remember the kids at home. And so, I came home sooner." He answered in a still nervous tone. Either believe it or not with his current remarks, but it feels impossible to turn off the phone at such an event, usually 'women love to capture their happy moments by taking pictures and sharing them on their social media pages.

Not wanting suudzon to go too far, I nodded, asking him to rest. My eyes closed, but my mind thought nothing. Astagfirullah. semooga is just my feeling, hoping to fall asleep quickly.

**

The day turned, when I was awake Nikmah was no longer beside me. It looks like we are in the kitchen cooking. Somehow my mind went to the drawer, wanting to ascertain what medicine he had taken last night? If he's sick, why not tell me?

Immediately I went and checked the drawer, there were several kinds of drugs in the packaging. But my attention was on the top tablet, which was probably held by Nikmah last night, because I was very aware of the usefulness of the drug. Why did he take the medicine? We're not even—Astagfirullah, he can't possibly do that isn't it? So can I suudzon if it's like this?

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.tbc

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