Blue Light
NINES

When Lana was twelve, her father took their entire family to Hawaii for about five days. That was the last time Lana called herself a vacation.

And now he felt he was doing it, even though it was all started by something heinous.

It's been almost two weeks Lana's been in Merian. And of course he feels he is enjoying a long vacation.

How not?

Lana's days are filled only by reading, eating, and also sometimes meeting Darla who delivers several pieces of clothes for her.

But Lana also receives frequent visits, especially from Chief Neff.

The police met Lana regularly every two days. Lana was surprised, because she did not expect, she would need more additional information.

Neff said the case was a little complicated, so he had to check every detail Petra and himself said. Lana can only resign, because she does not know anything about the law.

Neff often makes him uncomfortable, because he often asks deeper things about his life not just about his ongoing case. But Lana always manages to dodge, she refuses to answer, or lies.

Besides Neff, Joan also visited him. Even with his busy life taking care of a farm full of tourists, he could not come to Merian as often as he wanted.

Every time Joan meets, she doesn't tire of asking Lana to work for her. He kept repeating his offer, until Lana memorized Joan's sentence.

This offer is very tempting for Lana. He was still able to skimp, as it was impossible to afford to eat while with Joan, and again, he did not have to bother looking for work.

Lan would naturally no longer be able to work at Melina after all that. Lana wasn't sure she could get in there without imagining what Petra was doing.

Mr. Meier and Marco also visited him a few days ago.

They apologized in earnest for what happened to Lana, especially Marco.He repeatedly apologized, because he could not accompany Lana as usual that night.

According to him, Petra would not dare to do that if she existed.

And tirelessly Lana refused his apology. It was not Marco's fault that Petra chose that night to attack Lana, it only showed that Petra was a coward.

Compared to daytime activities, Lana's nighttime activities are very monotonous.

Lana continued to be in her room as soon as the sun sank. Several times Luke tries to get her out of the room, arguing that he invites her to dinner in the gazebo. But rejected by Lana.

He would not be able to enjoy any kind of food, if the music he would hear was a terrible lullaby from the woman.

And Luke would usually obey, they ended up having dinner together in Lana's room, as usual.

Almost every day Luke accompanies Lana to a meal, both breakfast and dinner. Luke only missed the show, when he had to take care of some things outside of Grindelwald.

And Lana must admit, she likes all the routines of her life in Merian, even sometimes she can forget there is a woman who repeatedly hangs herself in the next room.

A sense of comfort and warmth enveloped every corner of the time he spent here. The presence of others in her life, makes Lana lulled, and makes her enjoy life.

Until his sane mind warns Lana that none of this should happen. He shouldn't be enjoying all this, he shouldn't be tying himself to anyone.

The rebound had always succeeded in erasing the little hope that had begun to form in his heart.

When that happens, Lana starts to get scared. The fear that all the happiness he felt now would be over.

Lana never complained about the rigors of life that she had to live all this time, because all that she had to do.

But one thing that makes him sometimes falter, which is very lonely. He had no one to hear his complaints.

Lana can understand why Hans, Aubrey and even Diell, always talk when they have the chance, they are lonely.

Lana can listen to their stories, but Lana can't bear to tell them the problems of her life. Because whatever the case may be, it cannot be heavier than those who have met death.

Even with Aubrey, Lana confines herself to telling her about something that could keep her entertained.

Once again in her life, Lana hopes to be able to stay and repay all the affection and care directed towards her with a decent thank you. He wanted to be friendly with Joan, Erich, Darla, Neff and Luke.

His desire is even greater than when he met Beth and Aaron.

But the stronger the desire, the greater the danger they face. If his feelings for Aaron are the cause of his assault, then it is likely that those he mentioned are also in danger.

Especially Luke.

How hard Lana denies it, for the first time in ten years Lana hopes for the sun to set quickly. He looks forward to his reunion with Luke.

"You're an idiot, Solana!!!" Lana exclaimed loudly in front of the green abyss, her voice echoing several times before finally disappearing.

Lana didn't care if any other guests heard her, she just wanted to let go of the little burden that bound her heart.

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Luke saw the afternoon scene in front of the guardrail, with barely blinking eyes.

Not because of the beautiful fiery red sky, but because of a woman standing before him.

Lana is seen drowning in her reverie, after shouting a stupid word into the air.

Lana lowered her head, before finally crouching down and burying her face with her hands.

Luke half-dead refrained from approaching him. He felt that it would only make Lana stay away.

As the sun slipped, as usual, Lana got up and walked into her room.

Luke knows Lana is never outside the room at night unless she finds her by the pool first.

After occupying Luke's room, Lana is certain to bury herself there when night falls.

Luke turned around and descended again to the main Merian building. He went upstairs thinking Neff was still with Lana.

But Neff must have come downstairs and waited for him at the office. He was heading straight for the Exclusive block as soon as he returned from the city.

Neff's words about how he wouldn't meet Lana as a psychologist, certainly were a lie to tempt Luke, because in fact he was happy to provide himself.

Especially with other positions as a police officer, making Lana not refuse to meet with Neff.

Neff routinely conducts meetings with Lana, without Lana realizing it.

But it certainly requires hard work from Neff, he must be in such a way as to find a reason for Lana to talk.

And according to Neff this is very difficult, repeatedly Neff complained to Luke about how his therapy was not progressing.

But Neff didn't give up, and went on to see Lana for almost two weeks.

"Finally come too!" Neff exclaimed in delight as Luke walked into his office.

Luke gestured with a flick of his hand as a sign Neff didn't have to mince words. There are still some things to be done, and he does not want to make Lana late for the night because waiting for him.

"You have to let him go home"

Neff obeyed Luke and spoke directly to him.

Luke, who was halfway to putting his body into a chair, stood up as soon as he heard Neff's words.

"Lana? Why?"

Neff smelled a smile at Luke's panic.

"You can't keep him here on the grounds of police interest, Lukas. Moreover, his business with the police was actually finished long ago"

"You done taking care of her?" Luke tried to find another reason.

"Hmmm, yes, because I can't do anything else if Lana doesn't open herself to me. The trauma to Petra will disappear over time. But for the others, I can't help at all"

"The others?"

Neff nodded, then took out a thick green map from his bag, then placed it on the table.

Lukas glanced at the map and saw Solana Fayra's writing in front of him.

Luke's hand immediately stretched out wanting to grab it, but Neff quickly blocked his hand, preventing.

Neff shakes.

"I got this file by lying that I was the new psychologist Lana. I can't share this information with you Luke. This file is a secret between the patient and the mental doctor"

Neff's voice, which usually sounded light and cheerful, turned serious and resolute.

"And you showed it to me for--?" ask Luke impatiently.

"You can see the thickness of this page, right?" Neff pressed his index finger on the map, and Luke nodded.

The map was very thick, and some of the pages looked crumpled folded, signifying how often the map was opened for reading.

If the doctor used to send medical records that thick, it can be ascertained that the patient was suffering from a serious disease if not deadly.

But if a psychologist sends you a note that thick about a person------

"Most of the diagnoses written here are nonsense!" neff said, now with a fiery spirit.

"They misdiagnosed Lana?" ask Luke, unsure.

Neff nodded, "Lana did experience a traumatic event, but the diagnosis and treatment the doctor did not work. Lana suffers from something else, but the doctors insist on diagnosing her. Because of that Lana became what she is today, she lived by pretending to be someone else, so that the doctors considered her normal"

"Trauma what?"

"Ra-ha-si-a.ck"

Neff wiggled his index finger in front of Luke's face. Exasperatedly Lukas patted Neff on the face.

"Are you able to better diagnose them?"

Luke pointed at the map once more. It's possible Neff could do it, but he shook his head.

"An important requirement for psychiatric diagnosis and therapy is honesty. And Lana didn't fulfill it. I can't do anything without it. I'm worried that if it's too much to force it, it's going to be bad, like Anja-Eh"

Neff immediately regretted having said that name. He glanced at Lukas. His face showed no change, but Neff could see his jaw hardening.

"I mean, I don't want to repeat a stupid mistake" Neff added, then kept quiet while taking a deep breath,

"It's not your fault, how many times have I said it?" luke said slowly.

It's not fair that anyone would blame Neff for that. Neff is a great psychologist, he manages to get Luke out of a mud pit of despair and depression. This is a miracle according to Luke.

Neff clapped his hands hard, as if wanting to break the somber atmosphere that had come all of a sudden.

"Therefore, the only thing we can do is send Lana home, and let her live her life as usual. I want to see how Lana is doing, so I might be able to find an answer to why she insists on sleeping in your room"

When Lukas tells him about Lana who is often delirious, Neff takes it for granted.

But the matter of Lana refusing to sleep in the room reserved for her, made a curious alarm in Neff's head sounding loudly. Moreover, Lana refused to be in that room only at night.

According to Neff, he had never heard of a mental disorder with such symptoms.

"should? Lana lives alone there, what if she's 'destroyed' again, and there's no one there?"

What Luke meant was the incident when he found Lana curled up in tears.

Lukas can't forget how Lana looks so miserable. Leaving Lana to stay alone according to Luke was a very bad idea.

"Then what are you gonna do? What more reason would you say to keep him here? I've been lying to you for two weeks, and soon Joan's gonna hit me thinking I'm doing my job as a cop slow"

Luke is silent a thousand languages, he knows Neff is very right.

"Unless you've found the answer to my question, I might be able to help you find an excuse" Neff said, with a very wide ignorant smile.

"What questions?" Luke frowned, Neff's ignorant smile never meant good.

"Why do you think I should ask your permission to deal with Lana? Why is it so important for you to know how Lana is doing?" Neff explained the question more clearly.

Unfortunately, Luke still has no answer.

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That dinner, unlike the usual, was only acted up by the sound of the plate clashing with the spoon. Luke, who usually asked something to break the atmosphere, seemed to dissolve in daydreams.

Moreover, it was clear that he was not eager to eat, the amount of food on his plate had not decreased since earlier.

Lana of course was astonished to see it, but buried deep in that curiosity, and ate in silence.

It is not his right to bother and ask about what is on Luke's mind. After all, according to Lana, this is better, she must indeed distance herself from Luke.

"Said Neff you can go home. Your investigation is over" Lukas said suddenly.

Luke had put down his spoon, though the food was still intact.

"Oh. I can't wait to go home" said Lana, as usual as I can seem.

Luke momentarily looked at Lana, who was currently bowing her head.

"You can get ready tomorrow, when you're done, I'll drop you off"

"No need" Lana immediately shook her head violently.

Luke doesn't need to drive her anywhere, he can walk back to his house. The distance was quite decent, but Melina was even farther away from Merian, and Lana was used to walking there.

"Your whereabouts here are a secret, Lana. What would people say if you just showed up from Merian?"

Lana wanted to immediately refuse once more, but did not find a proper reason, because Luke's words made perfect sense.

According to Neff the case was kept secret, and did not spread to the villagers. And Lana of course also prefers that it remains a secret.

Even the trial for Petra was conducted in the city of Interlaken, without the need to be attended by Lana.

Victims of sexual crimes are entitled to choose whether or not to attend, of course Lana chooses not to attend, she is adequately represented by a lawyer.

Lana's absence during these two weeks, has also been perfectly covered by Joan.

Joan said she had already announced to anyone who would listen, that Lana was returning to America because of family matters.

"Mmmm... okay"

Lana grumbled because she lost. He never won an argument with Luke, and that irritated him.

"Alright, good night" Luke said politely as he carried their dinner tray out.

He usually puts it outside, so the waiter can pick it up without seeing Lana.

"Yes, good night" Lana follows Luke's attitude and is also polite.

But Lana could clearly feel a sense of awkwardness in the air. Usually their nightly chatter ends up more cheerful.

Lana dropped herself on the couch. He had already gotten what he wanted most, which was to stay away from Luke. But what he felt was far from relieved or happy.

Why did this desire create a new burden on his heart?