Blue Light
EIGHTEEN

".............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Lana's screams made Luke's ears ring.

Lana finally realizes Luke's whereabouts inside her apartment. Unfortunately Lana's half-naked state makes Luke a criminal.

Lana started throwing anything that was within reach of her hand, ranging from plastic vases, pillows, bolsters, blankets. But the lack of goods there makes Lana quickly run out of ammunition.

"Stop!! I bought it, and it would be very angry if you slammed it" said Lukas calmly, as Lana's hand grabbed the snow globe on the table.

He had already predicted Lana's anger and panic, so as to deal with it calmly.

"How---Why-When---" Lana's surprised mouth could not string her sentence perfectly.

"I'll turn around, and you'll wear clothes. After that we will have a long conversation while drinking tea. I hope you don't mind, I made two cups with tea that I found in the cupboard" Luke said, turning to the door.

Luke smiled as he heard Lana's murmur mostly filled with swearing.

"How did you get here?" lana was finally able to speak normally.

"Can I turn around?" ask Lukas.

"Yes.."

And Lana was fully dressed.

"How do you know about this place?" Lana did not give Luke a chance, her face looked furious, and firmly shook her head as Luke offered her to sit down.

"You shouldn't have contacted that property agent. The agent's owner is Neff's mother"

Lana again cursed, this time saying it out loud.

"Why do you want to run and hide? Running and hiding won't solve the problem, you know that" asked Luke.

"I ran because it was the right thing!" snapped Lana

"I ran because I almost got you killed"

This time Lana's clasping began to tremble, as her anger had been mixed in tears.

"I ran away because I wanted to save you!" And Lana's tears flowed down.

Lana turned around, not wanting to show her tears to Luke.

"I'm fine and not dead, and what do you mean by saving? Your departure left a million unanswered questions. I wouldn't consider that an act of rescue"

"You can die, Luke. You survived just because of luck!!" lana shouted, trying hard to hold back her tears, but her tear glands had another desire.

"Lana......"

Luke walked over to Lana, unable to bear to see Lana crying.

"STOP.....!!! Don't come any closer! I don't know what will happen if you approach me" Lana exclaimed, retreating regularly away from Luke.

"I will bear the risk" said Luke, and he meant it.

Luke doesn't know what's going to happen, but whatever it is he will accept it.

"No....Please, don't be like this!!" Lana begins to panic as Luke continues to step up, chasing wherever he shifts.

Luke manages to catch her hand and jerks Lana's thin body into the embrace with a single pull

"Don't Luke, you could die!!" Lana is still trying to thrash, and pushes Luke's body.

But his powers don't mean much and Luke is determined not to budge on Lana.

Luke hugs Lana whose cries get louder, and Lana finally gives up.

He could only sob in Luke's arms, though he continued to murmur that what Luke was doing was very dangerous.

"Look at me Lana, I'm fine" said Lukas, he took off his arms and calmed Lana who was still sobbing sedan.

And when their eyes met, Luke saw it again, something collapsed in Lana's soul.

Lana roared painfully, and shook Luke's hand.

"You don't understand Luke. It's dangerous!! I don't want to lose anyone else. Petra might deserve it, but you and Aaron don't" Lana quipped.

Luke is desperate to know who Aaron is, but he holds back his curiosity as Lana is in a bad state.

"I don't understand, that's why I'm here. Make me understand your secret Lana" Luke persuaded.

"Take it easy" Lukas continued, hugging Lana again.

And this time there was no rejection, Lana still sobbed, but accepted Luke's embrace willingly.

Lukas was very relieved, because nothing happened to him. And also happy, Lana wants to be more open to him.

Luke no longer wants to see Lana struggling to hide emotions in front of him, he will destroy the wall Lana built to hide.

"Sit down!" lukas said, pulling Lana into a chair, and thrusting the warm tea she made.

Luke again saw Lana who was gladly obedient. Lana is stubborn at times, but at times like this, she looks like a domesticated cat.

THE CEKLEK...!!

The sound of the door opening left Lana aghast.

"I hope my presence doesn't bother me, but it's cold outside. I can't be outside constantly" Neff said with a shivering body.

Lana looked at Neff in surprise, but then just shrugged, understanding if the two of them had come together.

"How long have you been outside?" asked Luke in surprise.

"Hm... About twenty minutes ago" he said, grinning.

"You should just go in" Lukas said as he offered the warm tea on the table. Neff seems to need it more. Her lips are blue.

"Thanks!" neff said sipping the warm tea with gratitude.

"COUGHHHHH!"

Two seconds later, Neff spouted the tea.

"What are you doing? That's disgusting!!" Luke jumps to avoid the local tea rain from Neff's mouth.

"I'm not disgusting, this tea is disgusting!!" neff said while pointing at the glass in his hand. "Have you tried drinking it?"

Lukas shook his head while grinning guiltily. He hadn't tasted the tea.

"Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..Aha!!"

The sound of laughter rang out to fill the apartment, leaving Luke and Neff stunned.

That laughter came from Lana!

His already much reduced tension made Lana let go of her emotions just like that.

"Have you just laughed?" Luke looked at Lana whose shoulders were still shaken by laughter.

This was the first time he and Neff had seen Lana laughing. He often sees Lana smiling, but laughing out loud? It's a rare occurrence.

"Are we as funny as Lana?" neff asked, still in amazement.

"Yes, you two are funny. It's always funny" Lana said, wiping away the tears left in her eyes.

"Oh... congratulations!! You managed to make Lana laugh with your tea" Neff said, continuing the joke by sticking out a hand to greet Luke.

Luke, of course, rejected that hand.

"Don't drink that tea, Lana" said Lukas, lifting the tea he had given Lana.

"But I don't have tea, I haven't bought tea since moving here" Lana said, looking at the cup with a questioning face.

"I found it there" Luke pointed to the cabinet attached to the top of the sink.

"Ow. I've never even opened it" said Lana.

In a slow motion, Luke and Neff shifted the two teas away.

"I'm sorry" said Lukas, regretting making Neff drink Chantal's tea.

Neff glanced at him, while putting the food and drink he brought to the table.

"We'll chat better when our stomachs are filled up". Neff pulls up a high chair in the kitchen and wears it to sit down.

The three of them enjoyed breakfast in peace, as they had been at Grindelwald.

Lana looks a lot more relaxed.

"Why do you want to sell the house? " ask Neff, sipping his hot coffee in satisfaction.

"Because it's the right thing to do. I'm not supposed to see you guys again. I bought the house expensively, I want my money back" Lana replied, expressing a very realistic reason.

"Who forbids you? Why did you say 'should'?" Luke stops his mouthful and sees Lana.

"I don't know" and Lana's voice turned grim again.

An unexpected answer by Luke and Neff. They hope Lana gives an answer. But he doesn't seem to know too much either.

"What if you tell me everything honestly. We won't judge or refute your story, no matter how ridiculous it is"

"Knowing who you are, I think you've already concluded something about my situation" Lana said.

"Oh wow... !! So this is the real you. Sharp and straight to the point" Neff said with wide eyes.

Lana had already stripped off all the fake personas that failed to deceive them. Luke himself was not surprised, he had seen Lana like that several times while with him in Merian.

"We concluded that you have the ability to see the spirits of the dead" Luke said plainly.

Neff immediately shrunk to hear it, believing Lana's ability, especially after hearing Lana chat with Chantal, but still uncomfortable when Luke called it clearly.

"That's right" Lana answered briefly, and with earnest eyes.

And Neff growled tormented hearing it.

"Are you willing to tell me how you got that power? We know you got it when you were a teenager, not from birth"

Luke asked carefully. Lana may have been tame, but Luke knew the topic was very sensitive. And that was proven by Lana's silence.

Lana seemed to be thinking deeply.

"Why do you believe such an absurd thing? You should have thought I was crazy, it made more sense" he asked.

"Trust me, I also want to draw another conclusion. But can't, all the available evidence won't let me take the other route" Neff scratched his non-itchy head.

"Because you called the name-----Diell. In this world only I call Ellza by that name. And I called him that just when we were both, even Neff didn't know"

Luke endured the sting of grief with a smile, a bland smile of course.

"Diell's? I've never heard of this"

As Luke says, Neff does not know about this. He looks dumbfounded.

"I call him that, because Diell said, his father likes to call him by that name" Lana said softly.

He could see the wound in Luke's eyes while talking about it.

"Diellza, I gave him a name that means sun, because he is indeed the sun for my life. Losing Diell was the apocalypse of my life. I barely made it through. But I met a good psychiatrist, and I can function as usual now"

Lukas tried to smile, even though in Lana's eyes, the smile looked sad.

Lana's eyes glazed over, of course she understood how Luke was suffering. He's very understanding. After taking a deep breath. Lana finally told me everything.

"I was before all this, an ordinary girl in a normal family like most, living together with both my parents, and also a younger brother named Rozh"

A trace of relief slipped in Luke's heart, a name he had heard was called by Lana, only her sister status, the name of Aaron is still a mystery.

"Me and Rozh are very close, because our age is not much different. Rozh's slightly special circumstances make him unable to get along with his peers. Rozh was diagnosed with autism by a doctor"

Rozh's name repeatedly made Lana's tears begin to rise.

"I never mind spending time with Rozh, whatever people say about him, he's a very sweet boy. But it's not the same anymore, when I started growing up some of my friends started to realize Rozh's state, and they started to make fun of me"

"And I was a teenager****** with a narrow mind, the mockery made me forget that the real victim was Rozh, I was siding with the wrong side. I stayed away from Rozh according to my friends' wishes"

Lana who was swallowed with guilt, started to fidget and rubbed both of her arms.

"We understand Lana, we all did stupid things as teenagers. And I'm sure my list of follies is much longer than yours" Lukas comforted her. Lana just smiled a little hearing that.

"Of course it didn't do a good job for Rozh, my father never got tired of warning me about this, but I didn't ignore it. And then the worst came true"

Lana gulped, get ready.

"That night, my friends and I were celebrating the first summer holiday night. We gathered at one of my friends' houses and held a barbecue. At first we had fun as usual. But then one of my friends found Rozh near the fence. Apparently he followed me and hid in that place earlier"

Luke began to suspect something bad would happen after that.

"I immediately told him to go home at that time, because Rozh was not used to the existence of many people. But my friends who are in a state of euphoria have other ideas. They kept teasing him, after knowing his special circumstances. I repeatedly pulled Rozh away and went home. My friend ended up getting angry because I was interfering in his pleasure, he pushed me hard, until I slammed into the grill. But before I hit him, Rozh pulled my body, and he's the one who took my place on the grill"

Lana paused for a moment and took a hard breath.

"As a result, one of the barbecue's iron roasters stabbed into Rozh's chest as he fell, and he died right then and there"

Luke could see, Lana was trying her hardest to hold back the tears. His hands were lying on the table, trembling. Luke clasped the hand, "That's terrible, Lana"

"I immediately fainted and did not know what happened next. I realized the next day on the day of Rozh's funeral. My parents weren't angry or irritated, they just said that everything that happened was an accident, and I didn't need to feel guilty. But how is it possible?? I'm the one who's been mean to stay away from Rozh, she needs me, but I threw her away. He wouldn't have been there if I had just heard my father's advice"

Lana was no longer crying, but a trembling body and a face that endured the pain, reflecting how much guilt had lived on and gnawed at Lana's heart for so many years.

"And they're right Lana, Rozh's death was an accident. You may be guilty of ignoring it a little, but the consequences that arise from it are not your responsibility. Rozh's mental state is indeed 'special', but it was his decision to follow you and also save you. It was all his wish" Neff said.

"Do you want to say it was Rohz's fault?" Lana sounded angry.

"No! You misunderstood my point" Neff smiled slightly, clasping Lana's other hand tightly.

Luke doesn't like it very much, but he can't ban it. Neff is now a psychiatrist for Lana.

"Rozh is a very good young man. He has fought against all his shortcomings, and made a very courageous decision - even braver than some of the people we used to call normal - when saving you. It showed how much he could do anything for his beloved sister. There's nothing wrong with what he did\, and I sure as hell call him a hero"

"But you and your guilt have taken that title from him. Rozh's title, which was earned by changing his life, you exchanged the title of 'victim of your guilt'. Don't you realize you've remembered it all along with guilt, not compassion and gratitude?" neff asked confidently, he was well acquainted with the type of guilt Lana was suffering from.

"But I'm so grateful" Lana argued, but her faith faltered at Neff's words.

Just an apology he mentioned every time he remembered Rozh.

Not ignoring Lana's objections, Neff continued his explanation.

"Then show. Show me that you're very grateful to Rohz. He saved your life in the hope that you would always live happily, not in sadness"

"Then what really happened to me? What makes that blue light always stick to me? Isn't this the curse I did to Rozh?! I started to see all those spirits, after Rohz died" Lana asked a little loudly.

His face was beginning to calm down, no longer remaining. His eyes were filled with confusion and despair.

"Eh...."

Neff slowly took off Lana's hand, and inched backwards. Lana's question is already outside her comfort zone.

"After that incident, my life was never the same. I saw those who were dead in the last form how they died. If this isn't a curse why should I go through ---- all this?"

Lana falters, and Luke knows why.

Her experience living life in a mental hospital is not easy, and Neff is right, it is a miracle that Lana was able to get out of that place in good shape.

"What makes you finally realize that you're not seeing a hallucination?" ask Luke, as supernatural as possible.

He actually just wanted Lana not to think about things that would make him more agitated.

"One of the patients next to my room is a very severe Agoraphobia sufferer. In the winter of that year, he contracted the acute flu virus. He could not survive and eventually died. That night, before I fell asleep due to the medicine, I saw him walking slowly through the wall towards his room"

"The next day, I woke up with a new understanding. Unlike what I thought all along, I'm not crazy"

"FYI, a person with a mental disorder won't realize that he's crazy, if you can still think you've gone crazy, I'm pretty sure you're actually very sane" Neff said, offers knowledge unrelated to ghosts.

"It's a pity that you weren't one of the doctors who treated Lana" Lukas said.

"Will everyone who dies become ghosts?" tanyakanya.

"No, only those who still have attachment to the world" Lana replied, then explained the matter of the spirit obsession to both of them, as Hans had explained to her.

"So they'll 'go' after their wish is fulfilled?" ask Luke to confirm.

Lana nodded, while Neff had already withdrawn from this conversation earlier.

"Do you know what Diell wants?"

Luke's question was followed by silence, even Neff who had complained a lot because their topic was not pleasant for him, was silent to the question.

Lana shook her head, "Diell only told me about you, she didn't mention her wishes. And frankly, I only met him twice. When I was in Merian, I never saw her with you. That's why I was so surprised to see him at the festival"

Luke was silent a long time after that.

"May I ask for your help?"

Luke's plea is not very detailed, but Lana knows exactly what she will ask for.

And according to Lana, this won't be easy. Lana may not need to explain more about Diell's whereabouts, but spirit desires can be very difficult to fulfill.

Like Chantal who asked him to finish the painting, it was almost impossible, because Lana's talent in art was as bad as her cooking.

"I have a guess that Diell's whereabouts are most likely related to what happened to his mother" Lukas said in a flat tone.

Lana tried to show an ordinary face, but in her heart, like coals of jealousy began to burn in her heart. If Diell's wish was for the two of them to unite again, Lana doesn't know what to do.

"And most likely you've met him" Lukas continued, and he has failed to maintain his flat tone.

Luke's face now looks uncomfortable.

"I? Meet your wife?" This time it was Lana who could not hide her surprise.

Lana didn't meet many people at Grindelwald, and one of them was Luke's wife? Lana can barely believe it, but Luke can't possibly lie.

"What makes you not want to occupy the room that Luke first prepared for you at Merian?" Neff suddenly interrupts, before Lana can get an answer from Luke.

"Oh. There's a man who died hanging himself there, a long-haired woman"

Lana answered without much thought.

"Well, you've met him. That woman is Anja, my wife" Lukas said with a bitter smile.

Lana exclaimed as she got up from her seat.