Dream Womb
Waiting

10 Years have passed since I changed my status to a wife. I stared expectantly at a testpect that had only been used 5 minutes ago, hoping for two blue tinge to appear from there. My breath was held waiting for it, my heart was pounding like when given a love letter for the first time in High School. However, the interval of a few minutes only 1 straight line that plastered real, melted all my hopes and hopes for 7 years of waiting. I don't know how many tests I threw in the trash. Giving a tightness that forces me to shed tears, new everyday in addition to defecating in the toilet.

“Fragal again?”

I had just come out of lamentation, as the remark glided smoothly at my jeering. I'm silent not chiming. That man's attitude was very different from 10 years ago, before I devoted my life to him. Let go of all my dreams while still a teacher in a nursery.

Am I sorry? If I may I wish to do so. I want to scream, why has my life become like this? People say if I want to have children, I have to rest completely. Can't work so as not to get tired, but there feels more tired than I used to work. Tired of her belittling attitude that should give me spirit. I became more and more useless and he liked me so much. Being loser.

“I can't believe I have to masturbate in the morning!” andre complained to my husband while giving me a small tube.

“This is for Insemination,” I replied slowly.

“Do it, because obviously my seeds are fine. Don't you feel like it's all because of your incompetent self?” I'm used to all his piercing words.

“What if we see it together,” bargain me.

At least if an expert who speaks I will take it with air, rather than continue guessing and guessing because finally I again have to be a scapegoat.

“You forgot if I was busy working? All because I have to live you. Supporting this family,” he added made me shut up for a moment.

“I'm leaving!”

BLAM

The door closed hard, I stroked my rumbling chest.

At her death I was just an unemployed person who could not bear children, then what else could I be proud of?

***

I held tightly to the bag that contained the tube containing the seed of Mas Andre, my mind glared until the train I was riding stopped at one of the stations. I saw a pregnant woman walking up to me and then she sat down next to me. Among the many empty seats, why should it be beside me? I feel laughed at by reality.

Soon I got off the train when I got to the station I was heading to. I stared at the nanar tube and threw it into the trash. I don't want to use this way, making me even more worthless because I'm the only one fighting.

My foot stepped into the hospital where I was doing the pregnancy program and that suggested insemination.

Insemination is an artificial reproductive technique that aims to help ***** reach the uterus/investment channel by inserting ***** directly into the uterus/invine duct at the time of ovulation of the woman, during which time the ovulatory woman, through a small catater, thus helping the fertilization that leads to pregnancy.

“With Miss Keysha Geraldine?”

“I, Sus!”

“Let's go into the examination room!”

I followed the nurse who led me to a white room with a distinctive smell. Sterile odors such as carbol and drugs. There I was invited to lie down and spread my thighs wide open. Fortunately the doctor who handled me was a woman so I was not so embarrassed when my intimate organs were treated like auto parts in a motorcycle repair shop.

“What do you bring that I asked for?”

“I'm sorry Doctor, my husband happens to be on external service so he can't give his sperm.” I'm berkilah.

“Tomorrow until the next few days is your fertile time. When will your husband come home from his service?”

I was jolted being asked like that because I kept pensive. “About later tonight, Doc!”

“Good, do a husband and wife relationship when your husband is already at home, after that you can come back again to check his development.”

“Good, Doc!”

“It's some vitamin recipes to support your vitality.”

“Thank you, Doc!”

I came out of the examination room and looked at the list of vitamins I had to redeem. After redeeming the medicine I had to go home immediately, but somehow I was reluctant to go back to a place that only made me cramped. There were only bad memories of him coming back to look at me coldly, treating me like everyone else.

I sighed tiredly, and looked up at the ceiling of the hospital. Closing my eyes for a moment to enjoy the crowd through my sense of hearing. For a moment, I want to stay here longer.

A few minutes passed, I had already gathered a little energy to get back to reality. I'm trying to console myself with the possibility of tonight. Hopefully we can warm each other up, an activity we haven't done in a long time. One year ago, we still did it even once a month, but now that almost 4 months have passed he hasn't touched me.

If you look at the intensity of our relationship. It feels natural if we do not get a baby. The reason for being tired from work makes me not dare to expect much or forcefully. Andre was the least debatable, and I tried to compensate him in silence without commenting. Because if I give a response only a fight will happen.

“This time maybe I'll seduce him,” my murmur when redeeming the recipe. I walked without looking forward until I accidentally bumped into someone.

BRUK!

My drugs dropped, I picked them up immediately, and the one I hit helped me.

“I'm sorry!”

“Nothing, I was wrong,” I understood with a little embarrassment. We also looked at each other and looked at each other.

That person turned out to be a handsome man with a neat stelan. I looked away and took the medicine he gave me. At the same time a beautiful and fashionable woman approached the man.

“What's up, baby?”

“This, I hit people,” said the man.

It turns out they are a couple, what a soothing sight. If Mas Andre was like that guy, accompanying me to check myself. I smiled miris.

“Oh, no wound ‘kan?” ask the man's wife by looking at me from the tip of the foot to the end of the hair. His look made me uncomfortable.

I was shaking. “I'm fine!”

“All right then, come on baby! Our turn has been called!” she pulled her husband.

“Once yes, yes already.” The man turned to his wife and then turned back to me. “One more time I'm sorry, excuse me.”

I nodded and the couple left.