NIGHT BUTTERFLY
#193

Like a thunderbolt with no wind without rain, what he had just heard from Sulastri made him very surprised. A name that never crossed his mind. He just admires it. He was grateful that in an age where religion is only an identity, there is a truly pious young figure, who became a reminder of the negligence of most Muslims from the guidance of his religion. Jamila's mouth is like being sewn together with her eyes unblinking. Only a breath seemed to blow swiftly on his chest. For a moment it was as if he had heard nothing. Nothing is visible. Nor was Sulastri so close in front of him. Only the shadow of Master Teacher Izzul Islam now fills his vision. Sweat suddenly gathered on his forehead and his entire body. The cool atmosphere inside the room suddenly became tight and sultry.

"Jamila?" sulastri said by touching Jamila's hand. Jamila was not yet awake. Sulastri held Jamila's hand and moved it. Jamila turned slowly towards Sulastri. Like the man who had his head buried long in the water, Jamila stuttered with a long snort of breath. Seeing that, Sulastri panicked a little.

"Are you okay, Jamila?" Ask Sulastri. Jamila lowered her head. He felt the clothes he was wearing wet with sweat. Seeing the sudden change that happened to Jamila, Sulastri went awry. Jamila did not answer his question. He knew Jamila was shocked and certainly never thought if the name he heard was the name of Master Izzul Islam.

Jamila gave a long sigh. He raised his face and looked at Sulastri's face with a puzzled look.

"What happened, Mom. Why would you want me to marry Master Teacher? Isn't he Rianti's husband? Why would you say that? How does Rianti feel about hearing this, Mom?" jamila said with a trembling tone. He was not only surprised to hear the name of Master Izzul Islam mentioned. But he was shocked by the person who said it was Sulastri, a person whom Rianti loved very much.

Sulastri smiled. He could already guess, that question was what would come out of Jamila's mouth.

Sulastri got up and stepped on the lights one by one. AC in the room also turned it on. Before getting into bed, he poured a glass of water and gave it to Jamila.

Jamila's hand shakes when holding a glass. He drank only a few sips and gave it back to Sulastri.

"Mom sure you were surprised to hear the words of mother earlier. I've guessed you'll ask me that." Sulastri smiled and picked up the tissue on the table. For a moment he was busy cleaning the sweat on Jamila's forehead and neck.

Sulastri gave a long sigh. He smiled holding Jamila's face.

"This is not the will of mother, Jamila. These are all Rianti's wishes. Not because he feels sorry for you, because this is not the way. He wants to share everything with you. He wants to be with you to promote the pesantren. And the most important reason was in Rianti's heart. Trust me, Rianti has a clean heart. Everything he decided had to go through a long period of time" Sulastri said. Jamila was silent. Sulastri gave a long sigh. This time his hand moved to caress Jamila's hair.

"Mom knows you're not satisfied with mom's answer. But rest assured, there must be an important reason behind Rianti's decision." Sulastri was silent for a moment.

"You don't have to answer now. But not for too long. Ask God for guidance. And remember, do not lie to the results of your heart and honesty. Life is too short, son. If we can find good in a decision even if it is sudden, why should we reject it? Rianti has given his blessing, Master Teacher has also agreed. As a mother, I agree with what my children think is good. Because I'm sure, Rianti and Master Teacher are good people" Sulastri said. Jamila swallowed her saliva deeply. His throat feels dry. He asked for a glass on the table to Sulastri. Jamila gave a long sigh.

"This is something I didn't expect before, Mom. Frankly I still wonder, what does Rianti mean to do all this," Jamila said after finishing her drink. Sulastri nodded his head several times.

"As my mother said, I need time to answer it" Jamila said. Sulastri smiled. He's got Jamila's shoulder.

"Please, Son. Remember, ask for a fatwa on your heart. If you think this is good, then never reject it" Sulastri said. Jamila nodded her head.

"Now, I'm asking you to go to the kitchen first. Cook the hot spring mother. I want to drink anlene before going to bed" Sulastri said. Jamila smile. Then he got out of bed and out of the room.

** * * *

Jamila stood still when she got outside the house. I don't know, he doesn't really know what he's feeling right now. He did not know if there was happiness in his heart now. What was clear was that those feelings made his chest feel tight. I want him to meet Rianti tonight and ask her directly why he could think of something so strange.

Jamila closed her eyes while sighing deeply. He held his breath for a moment and then took it out slowly. After that, he headed towards the kitchen.

* * * * *

"Bi? Auntie hasn't slept?" ask Jamila when she gets to the kitchen. He saw bi Aisyah sitting peeling garlic in a large container made of woven bamboo on the kitchen floor. Bi Aisyah who was unaware of Jamila's arrival, was slightly startled. He shook his head as he rubbed his chest staring at Jamila. Jamila smile. He immediately approached and embraced bi Aisyah.

"I'm sorry I surprised Auntie. I don't think there's anyone" Jamila said.

"You don't say hello first" said bi Aisyah.

"Kok himself, Bi. Lots of it, for what?"

"So Munawarah, but she went to her room to call her husband" Bi Aisyah said.

"Why don't you call me, Bi,"

"So aunt has been to your room. I opened the door, but there was no room for you. Auntie thinks you're with mom,"

"Yes, Bi. I was with my mom,"

"Certainly, why are you here,"

"I want to cook water for my mother" replied Jamila. Bi Aisyah nodded.

"Yes there already. Wear a big teplon. Just fill that flask so tomorrow I'll just brew the milk,"

Jamila nodded and got up towards the kitchen stove. After filling the teplon with water, he then lit the stove. He then took out a small knife on the shelf and returned to where bi Aisyah was sitting. His hands began to deftly peel the onion skin.

"This is a delivery from Trianti's mom. The person assigned the mother to take care of the restaurant and tourist attractions in the Doyan Medaran area. He said, carrying her here, he told aunt and Munawarah to clean it up. Well, good for extra pocket money,"

"owh, then let me help auntie through,"

"No, you go with Mom there. Anyway, this onion can't be finished until tomorrow,"

Jamila smiled and refocused on peeling the onions. For a moment the atmosphere became silent. There was only the sound of water starting to boil.

Jamila sighed slowly. He looked towards bi Aisyah.

"Bi."

Bi Aisyah.

"What's up, Jamila,"

Jamila scratched her head while blushing embarrassedly.

"Not be, Bi,"

"Loh, that's it. Don't let auntie be curious. Come on, if there's anything you want to say, tell auntie,"

Jamila. He looked at Aisyah.

"Actually I.., want to borrow money, Bi. One hundred thousand just to buy a sanitary pad," said Jamila blushed embarrassed. Bi Aisyah smiled. He took off the knife in his hand on a pile of onions.

"That's just shame. You wait a minute, auntie wants to get the money," said bi Aisyah as she lifted her body to stand up. For a moment he sorted both knees that felt sore because too long sitting.

"Come, you move the water first to the flask. I think it's boiling" said bi Aisyah. Then he came out of the kitchen.

Not long after, he came back. One hundred thousand in his hand was given to Jamila. Jamila smile.

"Thank you, Bi," said Jamila.

"It's okay. No need to borrow. That's aunt love free. Now, quickly deliver her thermos mother. Later to go to sleep," said bi Aisyah. Jamila nodded. After that he went to Sulastri's room.

Sulastri who had fallen asleep for a few minutes woke up when he heard the sound of the door being opened.

"Jamila?"

"Yes, Mom. Sorry I'm taking too long,"

"It's okay. Just put it on the table. Make the milk at dawn. Come on, you're sleeping too,"

"I slept in my room, Mom. I want to pray first and iron the clothes. Awake, it's dawn soon,"

"Yes already then. Thank you, Jamila,"

Jamila smiled nodding her head. After putting the flask on the table, he stepped out of the room.

* * * **

The dawn of shadiq was seen widening in space. The sound of the holy verses of the Qur'an began to be heard from a distance. Start welcoming each other from mosques whose speakers are carried by the wind.

Jamila who has used her face is still resting on her alphabet after a few minutes of busy reading the Qur'an and remembrance. His long contemplation to get the final answer from his heart, still blocked by the shadow of Rianti and his incompetence to be the second life companion of Master Izzul Islam. Apart from Rianti allowing it, he still felt unbearable if he would get the love part of Master Izzul Islam from Rianti. Friends like in prison, friends share knowledge and encouragement to remain not desperate to live the provisions of God. Although Rianti once again wanted it as his honey, but for him it was very inappropriate.

Jamila nodded steadily. He had to leave that place even though he himself did not know where he was going. Master Izzul Islam belongs to Rianti. He does not want the love of Master Izzul Islam divided. His love belongs only to Rianti.

Adhan dawn reverberate. Jamila closed her eyes . The voice of Adhan entered his heart. Stirring one by one various feelings of uneasiness and discomfort in his heart. He was worried again. At dawn, he lifted his head and began to pray.

"Yes, Allah, the time between Adhan and iqomah is the best time and the mustajab for the prayer offered by Your servants. Then guide me to the concerns of my heart, O Allah. Lead my heart to give me the best fatwa. Guide the servant so as not to go the wrong way for making the wrong decision. You are the guide. You are the light of the road. You are the guide of those who are lost. There is no power and effort other than You. Amen." Still closing her eyes, Jamila closed her prayer by putting her old palms on her face.

Jamila gave a long sigh. The decision is round. After the dawn prayer, he will leave. He hoped his departure was the answer of Allah. He hoped that the decision he made was the right one.