Nyctophile
Divorce and meeting

Love is one meaning of sincerity, if we love something there are times when we have to give it first, forcing will only make love hurt.

Aisyah Maharani, they used to call me Aish's sister, I'm 26 years old, being a widow at the new age of marriage one Sunday is my choice, how can I live with a man who is pretending to love me, even though he wants my students.

At first it was I who fell in love with the most understanding creature named Areska Bagaskara, first met within five minutes I could immediately recognize his character, he said, then in the next five minutes my heart was tethered to him.

The match between my mother and her parents made me happy, especially when she said she was willing to marry me, my happiness increased when all my dreams about her came true, the word was spoken and we became lawful, but after the wedding there are no touching activities like marriage in general, all makes me wonder why?

At first I thought maybe he was tired because before the wedding a lot of work he had to finish, until that night I asked him to hook up and he refused and said the reason.

"Mas, why? what was? why did I refuse Aisyah, if Aisyah is wrong please say mas," question after question I asked when faced with her, her eyes that looked at me made me know there was something she was hiding.

"You're not wrong Shah, I'm wrong, I can't give you an inner living, forever maybe."

My tears are coming down unstoppable, why? why can't we bondage, what is this, a wave of emotions knocked me down to sit on the bed, my hand taken away to hold.

"Dad, you know what I can't express and what I'm realising is my own love and feelings, harboring them for years because no woman can take them away from me, but when I found her beautiful feeling, I married you."

"It's my fault, it's my fault for forcing you."

"It's not my fault, it's my fault that I can't control lust, it's my fault that I didn't justify this love just yet, I almost touched and ruined the future of the woman I love."

I looked into his eyes with anger, how could a man like this do such an curse.

"Daddy, I'm guilty, I'm sorry I can't touch any other woman besides her, I still hate myself until now, because my actions have to hurt other women, I'm sorry Shah."

"Zayana Muzza, your student."

My tears stopped, I removed and I focused for a moment on my hearing, looking into his eyes with silence.

"Why should Zayana mas? why should he! you know the wound hasn't healed yet, she's a fragile woman, you fucked her?!" my screams with emotions were really ignited, which is why she didn't bring my wedding dress, which is why that morning she didn't come, which is why she didn't attend my wedding.

"I didn't fuck her Aisyah! I fucked him for getting drunk!" the emphasis in each of his words made me ask.

"you're not what I thought you were, I thought you were different, I thought you'd never touch that shit, it turns out... Talk to me right now!" I said full of certainty.

"Dear of it!" he said he didn't believe.

"What else? what more should I expect from this one-sided love, if it only makes you tormented, I can't live like this, living with people who don't love me, living with a person who has unforgivable guilt, your whole life will be in that guilt, it's better now that we're getting divorced than later when this marriage continues but you're breaking your heart with your love for Zayana, I'm sincerely lilahita ala, if you're after me now and go after Zayana, for any other reason let me find and convince mom and abi, my talak mas."

Two days later we discussed until at last mother and abi, understanding that by reason of both of us, Abi received everything well and we parted well.

In order to cover this wound and sorrow, I established myself to go to Madinah, to live with some friends there, and hope God removes all my love for my ex-husband who no longer gives a smile full of trust.

Areska, if one day there's a meeting between us, I want it to be a meeting point where I'm sincere and you're happy, because only with your happiness can I calm down, since at least all my efforts to part were not in vain, congratulations on finding each other's happiness.

Four months in Medina, I found a man who wanted to marry me, and I was unknowingly bound by him, a man who had once been my first love, the man who was replaced by Ares, I told him all about myself, I didn't think it turned out that he was waiting for me all this time, went and disappeared indeed coward, coward, but coming back to strengthen the heart is a choice.

Thank God you separated me from Ares and united Me with Rahdian is a dark path that you give light, so that I can walk calmly, without guessing what I should tread on.