To The Man Who Broke My Heart
1. Meet my name Kayra

Baby, thank you.

Thank you for falling for me, because you’re fixing me unnoticely

Thank you for making me falling for you, because it makes me feel brand new

With the love you gave, I can finally see what I already have

Just like crossing the broken bridge with a rope, you give me hope

Just like giving the short time life an extra length, you give me strength

I should’ve kiss you now, to tell you how much you make me go wow

I should kiss you 'til we’ old, instead of trying to say what can't be sold

I think I should kiss you forever, for making me better

****

And, finally. You let me go. After all my effort on you, YOU are the one who is letting me go. You freed me. from you. From us.

I think .. It's gonna be okay. Yes, I’m gonna be okay.

Are you really okay, heart?

****

I still can't believe I finally chose to give up. Handing you over to your world, handing over the despair I've been building all along to the garbage pore. I will try to bury him, even if I have to be buried with him.

Gamang, indeed, originally. Until sometimes my horror makes real and mirage unbrimmed, presenting you here when nothing happens. Am I crazy? For now please just go ahead. But I will not let this madness go crazy. Who do you think .. who are you?

****

Being a scripter is not easy. It's not easy at all. It is the same as being a broken hearted person. You will even need extra hard work and dedication to work on one of them, but, if both happen at the same time?

Ah, nevermind. Don't ask what the weight is. Because if I had known, I would have dealt with it very easily.

Yeah, that's me. The girl who is becoming a thesis fighter who is also experiencing a broken heart. What a great luck, huh?

And, please, I don’t want to talk about it. Not now, not ever.

Forget that!

Finally I chose to turn on the music via bluetooth in the car audio system and play the playlist randomly. The sounds of familiar guitar lines and accompanying vocals instantly filled the car cabin. Oh, come on, Destiny. Like ... really?

Why would Danny O'Donoghue ask me how to survive if people who leave us are the best part of life? What should be said when our throat is blocked by feelings while the person who leaves is acting ordinary? What to do when not only the heart is broken, but it feels like this body is also falling?

I don't know, Mr. O'Donoghue, I don't know the answers to these gazillion dollars questions either.

Hm. It was time to switch the conversation because I felt my eyes start to heat up. I can't let those tears come. Again.

It is what it is.

I was born the only daughter in a happy family, with the father of a government official, the mother who will always be there to pamper the family at home with her affection and attention as well as two twin brothers who are always there to be my guard outside the house.

Sounds perfect, doesn't it?

However, nothing in this world is truly perfect. Although I should be grateful to be in the midst of a family that is part and love each other, I can't help but cry over the relationship I've been through.

Oh, damn. Enough is enough. I don't want to talk about that said relationship anymore.

****

Grandpa : Dek

Me : Yes, kakaak

Kak Raya: Where are you?

Kak Raya: We go yuk

Kak Raya: I'm all for this again

Kak Raya: We'll see you at the Plaza in an hour, OK?

Raya Rosita, Kak Raya. My senior one major at the college. I'm sure everyone agrees that everything about seniors and college does sound a bit mystical, scary. All that when just a regular request sounds like a command, is inevitable. Not because Kak Raya is a fierce senior, but maybe because I knew her as a senior first before becoming the friend she is now. Then it is greater to be disinclined.

Kak Raya, as she called, was the former chairman of our student body which then happened to replace—maklum, our department was dominated by women. So, initially our meeting was only limited to discussing organizational issues, the professional relationship of a special board member and the current chairperson of the association. However, as time went on, the intensity of our meeting increased. The language that was just that - it seeps into everyday language, groceries, and feelings. Ah, really is. Female.

“So, you're with Harris now how?”

Kak Raya, why is his sister the same thing I ... now? I can only ask in my heart. I can't reveal it directly because this memory slipped back into the scene a while ago. Time is far away but something still feels like yesterday.

....

“Who is this girl, Ris?”

The man just kept quiet, shaking. To his surprise, his actions almost resembled a statue. Even the sighs and breaths that were done alone were not clear of his movements. He must have really not expected that I was now in front of him, they.

I also fell silent. Don't know what to do. Didn't expect that I would ever be in a position like this; between a man I love and another girl. Who her? What the hell is he doing here? What exactly are THEY doing here, TOGETHER?

“Harris, so who exactly is this girl?”

The man who had been his love for almost two years still did not say a word. In fact, it felt like the world around us was making no sound.

God, what's the matter?

“Sorry, Whose brother?”

To be continued ....