To The Man Who Broke My Heart
19. I'm Loving It

At first I thought a foundation would be filled with middle-aged people who are very understanding of humanitarian affairs because of age. But the truth surprised me a little. Most of the employees here are young people, my age is average, some are even teenagers. Only Aunt Meli, Mr. Joko (Section Head of Senior Students, who takes care of high school and college dropouts) and Bu Sukma (Section Head of Charity Event, which is also known as, she is also the wife of a local official), who can be categorized as a senior. The treasurer of this foundation alone, a graduate majoring in accounting from a leading university in Jakarta, Mbak Yuni, is only twenty-nine years old.

While in the Early team, the team I live in now, we consist of Mas Bambang who is Section Head, Mbak Eka and Mas Rinto. All three are graduates of the Master of Early Childhood Education whose education is financed by the foundation. They used to be foster children, but Aunty Meli saw the potential in them. They were then schooled until the end of S2. Truly an exemplary thing. Their passion for learning, to improve themselves in order to give back even more to children in need like they used to.

I can certainly learn a lot from them. I should be like them too.

After the briefing, the rest of the day I spent getting acquainted and discussing with the team. They were happy to explain everything I needed to know, giving me a lot of knowledge about the foundation and the activities I was doing. It's amazing Om Seno and Aunt Meli. Their company has made many contributions in helping the world of education in Indonesia.

****

4.35 PM

When I got home, I went straight to my room to clean up and checked my phone. There are several incoming e-mails, most of which are e-mails from Mbak Eka. I asked him to send priority files for me to learn immediately. In addition, there is only spam and I immediately deleted it. No more message notifications, I went directly to the Instagram page to be creative for a moment.

Scrolls. Scrolls. Scrolls.

Stop.

A post from Harrisky Ilham's account. A photo of him with Fani on his graduation day.

Aw, shit.

Bemoan. I still feel that pain. Still is.

Come, Kayra. We've come this far. Are you going to keep letting things related to him haunt your every move? Don't you want to be like the great people you met in the office? Do you think they're typical of people who let their feelings stop in their tracks to become the best version of themselves, huh?

Thats enough. Had enough. Just cut it all out now. You opened a new page today. Remember that.

Alright. I will not allow this small and insignificant thing to interrupt my spirit. I touched the third dot in the corner of the photo that Harris uploaded on the screen. I touch the choice stop following. Instantly the photo disappeared from my account homepage. Then, I typed Bang Che's name in the search section. I did the same thing. And so do the Twitter and Facebook accounts they have.

Everything’s done.

I am done.

I then logged into the room group chat teletubbies.

Me: I’m done with everything

Me : I'm done

Me: It’s time to move on

Me : Fighting!

****

Time does fly ao fast when you're doing what you love or loving what you were doing.

I've been here three months. My mom and dad have visited me twice. I'm getting used to the work at the foundation. All the members were very supportive and helped me adjust. I even got accepted to continue my S2 program at the same university as my team members.

So far everything has gone according to plan.

Time is running really fast as you’re doing what you love or loving what you were doing.

Teaching street children, visiting schools that need help or just hanging out and playing with children in suburban areas really makes me forget the time. Devoting yourself like this really feels and becomes a gift in itself. Seeing their laughter, witnessing the happy self that radiated from the children's eyes, the sadness when the activity was over that made us always promise to return, completely changed my view of the world. There are still a lot of people out there who struggle desperately just to survive, to the point that they forget how to enjoy it. It has even happened since they were early ages. I'm not really good at being grateful.

Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

All the activities of the foundation and lectures constrict the empty space in the mind. I almost forgot about all the flavors Harris and Bang Che left behind. I almost forgot who they used to be.

Hehe, no, deng. However, more or less the point is, I've seen the results of the commitment to move on.

Beeps.

I saw the notification on the phone screen. There's an incoming e-mail. I then turned on the Mac and logged into my email account.

To: rayaraya89@gmail.com

To : salimnumber3@gmail.com

Subject: Important!!!

Kak Raya's. Why does he have to send e-mails when he usually sends me messages and chats?

Shaking his head, inexhaustible with the randomness of his actions, I opened the letter.

Kay, I deliberately emailed you for fear of disturbing if I send a message or chat. I'm afraid of the call, too. I have something to say to you, but you promise you won't be mad at me, okay? Silence means yes.

Kay, do you remember that time I invited you to meet to discuss Che and you told me everything the same? I'm so sorry, Kay, sorry. I recorded all our conversations. I want everyone to know the truth, I want your name clean again. So I planned everything. We're meeting.

I've kept the tape for a long time, but I haven't dared to give it to Riko. I'm waiting for the right time. I think they'll stop talking to you after graduation. But, until two days ago, almost three months after we graduated, they were still talking about you. And Che didn't say anything about it. Bad, no, anyway? Because I couldn't stand it, I went straight out to record it. I told you about our meeting. At first Che refused, but he resigned his other friends began to make sense.

They're shocked to death by hearing the tape, Kay. They were angry and ashamed of Che's behavior. They are ashamed and feel guilty about you. They want to apologize directly, well, Riko said the hell, I don't know the truth, but I tell them that you're in Jakarta. That's why I'm sending you this now, and I'm giving you an apology from Riki's friends.

You're not really angry, are you, Kay? Call me after you read this, yeah!

To be continued ....