To The Man Who Broke My Heart
32. They Didn't

Alex opened the driver's side door when we got to the car. “Let me drive.”

I nodded, not having any more energy to resist and argue. I don't know that adrenaline withdrawal can be so tiring. My body immediately leaned onto the seat as it touched the upholstery skin.

After entering the home address into the navigator, the car immediately rolled into the street. “I’m sorry.” Alex's voice took my eyes off the passing scene along with the speed of the car behind the window.

I turned to Alex who was busy choking the steering wheel with his hands until his knuckles turned white.

“Why are you apologizing? You, right, not wrong.” I'm shaking. “You're not wrong, Lex, but thank you for saving me from .. that.”

“I shouldn’t have left you alone.” It was Alex's turn to shake. “Then that son of a bixch won't get too close to you and that .. that ... thing won’happen.” He nodded towards my arm which after I saw was indeed a bit flushed.

Waw. I didn't realize it.

Despite being covered in blazers and shirts, Raldo's grip still left marks on my skin. I lowered my shirt sleeve, blazer's been in the car since I took off. “It’s fine, Lex. I am safe now because of you, and that’s what matter the most. Let it go, okay? I know I really want to.” I don't want to make Alex drown in useless guilt. He's not the one who's wrong. That damn Raldo has no morals.

Just thinking about his name makes my brain boil. Damn her. God fucking.

Long Alex was speechless before finally exhaling deeply and saying, “Okay.”

I know he doesn't feel okay at all, but for now that's enough. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to go home. I just want my room. I just want to .. disappear.

****

I do not remember what time I began to fall asleep, but it felt like my hibernation was enough to get here first because the stomach was no longer able to compromise. I reached out to the phone on the bedside table and turned on the screen. 

At 8:07 AM.

I then sat down, stretched for a while, and then walked towards the bathroom still in a semi-conscious state. Out of the bathroom, I heard several messages ringing in.

Alex.

Alex: Kayra Salim, it’s time to wake up

Alex: You hear me!

Alex are you okay?

Alex: I'm getting really married here

Alex: Ary

Alex: Kayra!

Alex: you’re freakin’ me out

Alex: answer me

Alex: please Kay

Alex: you read my texts

Alex: I'm sorry

Alex: just tell me that you're okay

Alex: please

Me: I am awake

Me : just finished shower

Me: Will be out in a minute

After wearing the shabby, faded pink sweatpants and sweatshirt with the same thin print of the Captain America logo, Mama greeted me in the kitchen. “Newly wake up, Kay? Breakfast first. There's the same bread fried rice. Wanna which one? Select aja.”

I hugged Mama and dyed her wet cheeks. “Thank you, Mama.”

“You’re welcome.” Mama kissed me back on my forehead. “Udah, sana.” He shook his hands at the dining table. “Poor Alex breakfast alone. Papa and your brother have left.”

“Oke.”

Alex who noticed our interaction smiled as I took a seat opposite him. “Good sleep?”

“Hu-uh,” I replied while biting on the toast I had polished with peanut butter. “You?” I asked back.

Alex puts his shoulders. “I sleep okay.”

I looked back, made sure Mama couldn't hear our conversation, and glared at Andrew. “Let it go, Lex,” I said half whispered half commanding.

She shook her head. “I promise Rian–”

I didn't let him finish the sentence. “But I am here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah. But–”

“I’m fine, Lex. Promise. Let it go, okay?” I felt my lips shake. Quickly I bit it so that the shakes do not spread and trigger tears.

Alex was still looking at me, the eyes I just realized were surrounded by eye bags with a size large and purplish color as if looking for a gap so he could get what he wanted, that is for me to acknowledge my true feelings.

Nope, no. I still don't want to discuss what happened yesterday. Notnot now. Probably never will either.

However, for some reason, I could also see the same rashness in his eyes. The normally bright blue is dark, full of determination. He won't give up either. “For. Do it for me. Let it go for me.” I finally begged.

His gaze immediately softened. “Okay.” Nodding. “Okay.”

****

In the afternoon, Bang Rian joined us while Alex and I were in the living room with the TV screen and laptop on. Mama went with Papa to the wedding of the son of one of papa's friends. Bang Bian was in the office. Uni Cya was putting Genta to sleep in the room.

“Yo, Man.” They then do a kind of tos by pitting fists and other movements as if they had been friends for a long time. Kalakian Bang Rian threw his body on the sofa next to mine. He then reached out to the television remote and instantly the TV voice was no longer heard. “So, you two have plans for tomorrow or not?” He looked at us in turn.

“Why?” I asked back.

“Because I'm sure that elo, my man,” Bang Rian pointed Alex, “it's itchy want to make your super advanced camera make a walk and I,” his index finger now leads to his own chest, he said, “incidentally there is a schedule out of town for the next few days.”

Now replace Alex who glanced at Bang Rian and I took turns before his gaze returned to Bang Rian. “Well, that sounds ...” Now Alex's eyes somehow can look at me with full .. please(?). “Interesting.”

I squinted my eyes while looking at him. Then I looked at Bang Rian.

Oh, no. They didn.

To be continued ....