To The Man Who Broke My Heart
40. Yes or No

"I .... I'm ...." I can't find the words. This tongue is like locked after the ear is satisfied to be lulled by a strand of madah that inevitably makes lena. Not only that. Lost all my functions as a human being who is able to look and meet with ... especially if not the two blue pools that are now clear and sparkling?

"Hey."

Alex called. Unaware she had managed to pull me back to reality after being hypnotized by her charm. I had my hand wrapped in my own hand. Warm grip it me ... me.. me .. me ....

"Take your time, okay?" said again. Again the young man had unknowingly pulled me from the trap in his own mind. "Take your time. Take this easy's. Take us easy's. If you can't answer now, can't think about it now, it's okay. No problem. I won't make sense either. What if we go first? Take one day at a time?"

Oh. My. God.

Is he really serious? I really .. at a loss for words. He managed to amaze me with his confession and now.

"Or gini, please. Let's make a pact."

"A-a .. a p-pact?" I said with stammering. It turns out that my tongue that was previously confused still remembers how to produce one word even though it has to come out half-half first.

An answer in the form of "yes" slid from his lips steadily.

"Ho-how?"

"Curkey. You don't have to think of anything, yeah. Your mind doesn't have to go anywhere first. Don't overthink it yet." He did that childish act again. Alex has my forehead.

I reflexively squinted and giggled. Kuelus the part he just poked.

Back to the laptop.

Somehow, someone I've only known for about two weeks can catch the fact that I'm a person who likes to think about things excessively.

Alex laughed so hard. Then he shook his head. "You must be wondering why I can understand that you're one of those overthinking bad habits, right?" His index finger then lifted up and anchored between my eyebrows. "This, nih," he said, putting a little pressure there with his fingertips. Kalakian took the part, up and down, so smooth, so slow.

Unexpectedly it gives a calming effect.

"I can see a lot of stuff in your head that comes to the surface and then it's running around here." Alex added. "Udah, yes. Don't mind much anymore. The wrinkles will become permanent, you know! Do you want to?"

"Lt!" Immediately I slapped his arm that was stretched out towards me. "You!"

He laughed again. He laughed as he pulled his hand back to hold my hand. "So .... I said that, you know, right? Don't think about anything, or anything. Don't make this a burden. We just walk. We let it flow, we see where we are directed by destiny."

Destinies.

Destinies.

Destinies.

"Well, later, if fate leads us down the same path as I want, that what I want is indeed approved of by God, I will meet your parents. I want to ask you all right to them."

Whats? WHATS?

What does that say? Ask Papa and Mama well? What, ha? Whahuh?

"Well, huh, right? It's starting again." Alex shook his head. "You don't have much thought either."

Oh, my God. Alex, helo! How could I not think much if you did not stop bombarding me with your sentences that make the shock on average? How could I not think of anything after you threw all this at me?

Although the small touches you put on my skin sometimes make me misfocus. Or your eyes, which are now like the color of seawater, are illuminated by direct sunlight and the light reflects off the surface, making it sparkle like glass, making me lose my mind even more because of its beauty.

Or the peppermint scent of your breath. Damn, Lex. My view of that candy can never be the same again. I'm sure, wherever I see the wrapper, I'll associate it with you right away.

Or a mysterious fragrance that from the beginning met already teased my nose. Moreover, the distance we are now that does not spend three fingers. Whether it comes from your aftershave, body cologne, or the perfume you wear. Clearly, I will remember this smell and make it an obsession.

Like I'm starting to obsess over new hairs growing around your firm jaw, chin, and over your lips that look like a pillow of my beloved goose feathers. The hair wants to grow which is now just giving a shadowing effect on your lower face before actually sticking out. Then the fine hairs on both your hands and feet.

After that, your burly body shows that you are no longer a young man growing up. Wide shoulders, climbs and valleys created by those muscles, a calm mind, and an open way of thinking are clear signs that you are a dedicated figure and have grown up.

However, am I .... Can I believe what I saw, Lex? Can I believe what I hear? Can I trust something formed in such a short time? Can I be .... Can I trust .. You?

No, no, no. The real question is not that. It should be this way; can I trust .. man again?

"Hey. Kayra Salim, listen to me. We'll go through this first. We'll see where all this takes us. Then, when I'm sure I feel the same way, I'll meet your parents. And if at that time you also feel the same as I feel, you just answer in front of all your families. Okay well? Pressure no."

Yeah, Lex. Just like that, eh? Pressure no. No pressure at all.

"Where? You want to, right?"

I bathed Alex's beads again. Enjoy the beauty while trying to fumble what is there. I'll just dive in. More, more deeply. And all I found was .. happiness.

How could?

"You ... You used to say gini to the girls you met before me, huh?" My suspicious brain took over. Why all of a sudden about this is my talk so smooth?

Alex looked really surprised. His expression was not made up. "What's? How can you say that?"

"So you're good at talking about it. I think I've been practicing a lot."

Now it is his turn that passes through my eyes. And after that he shook his head at a glance, exhaling, laughing stifled once more. "Kay, I'll ignore your words just now because I'm sure those bitter words came from your deepest place that still holds wounds."

What in the world? Who is this man?

"By the way, I'll keep answering. No. I've never done this to another girl besides you. You think I am also not surprised by the courage and the decisions taken unilaterally by my heart now? Astounded. Banget. But, I once met someone who was so freaking awesome. He said gini; when you know, you know."

Whats?

"So this is me knowing."

Oh, my God. How can I say no to .. that?

To be continued ....