To The Man Who Broke My Heart
4. The Way to Get Over Someone is to Get On with Another

“Heh!”

Someone patted me on the shoulder from behind, leaving me aghast. My heart just immediately followed the race with a beat. I turned to the side and found a face that had become so familiar lately. Kak Raya's. I don't think I spent a lot of time with him.

Grimacing I welcomed the order that was brought. There was her favorite frappuccino and smoothies for me on top of the tray she was holding. Also some donuts with various toppings arranged neatly on a plate.

That day we will discuss the issue of the Indonesian Student Association Association Congress which will be held on our campus. Although the discussion we will do is quite serious and heavy, somehow we prefer to talk about problems like this outside the campus environment. Maybe so the atmosphere is more relaxed, so it is more comfortable to discuss things that are a little draining of thought.

Yep. Maybe that's the reason.

“You, anyway, I gave you the code from earlier unconsciously too. Dreaming again for sure.” He repulsed while throwing his body into the chair across the table.

Okay, Kak Raya, how do you get to know me so well, hm?

****

“So the concept of the show we made a kayak earlier, huh? The Expo. Later there will be a national seminar on cultural exhibitions from congress participants. For the seminar, who is the right speaker about, yes, Kak?” I asked with a pen that was ready to dance on the binder paper which had become a medium to record the results of our conversation.

“Don't try to switch the conversation, yaa. From earlier we have finished discussing that soan, making dizziness also long thought serious problems mulu, you know. So, just thought of Harris again, right?”

A moment of dark cloud enveloped this heart. Suddenly alternating lightning and lightning were present within this chest. Though he had just said that he did not want to get dizzy from discussing serious things. Does he think that discussing Harris and I'm not a serious matter? No more serious than the business of the organization?

She can't be serious, right?

“Kakak, can we just .. skip it?” I then fixed my sitting position. I leaned the body completely against the back of the chair and I piled my head on it. Looking up, looking up at the ceiling of the franchise donut booth scattered all over the world, I continued. “Okay, you are right. I just thought about him. So what? After what we've been through, it should be, right? I won't be able to erase him so easily from my mind, sister. Even the shadow of him still haunts my steps until now." God fucking. Why would I explode like this? For a while, I regretted what just came out of my mouth. The thing I'm revealing feels so .. raw. So honest. I've never spoken this honestly about how I felt about Harris before to anyone.

Damn. I'm really disappointed in myself right now.

Kak Raya patted the table surface gently. “I know, Honey. I-i know. You will definitely try as best as you can. You're patient, aren't you?" He pushed his lower lip forward for a while. The usual thing he did was to chuckle. As quickly as he put on his lips, that expression disappeared and changed with round eyes and a radiant face. "Aah! I think you should have a distraction so you don't think about what doesn't matter anymore. Cheating is useless. How about looking for a new gig?”

he says with passion. You can also guess that the sentence was ended by his piety.

It is possible that Kak Raya is enthusiastic and excited by the idea that she considers brilliant, but not with me. I couldn't find out where the brilliance was. “That's a new gig what do you try, Kak?” My forehead multiplied by ten as if to join in questioning the seriousness of Kak Raya's heart.

“Yaaaa, new scourge." He then rubbed his shoulders lightly. "You, right? Who, huh?” The questions were thrown out and left to float between us. After all, they exist only for pleasantries, not for the answer to be sought.

The beautiful girl who liked the cosmetic world in Kalakian muttered to herself, it seemed like she was already drifting in the things that were on her mind.

I'm back to shaking. For some reason, I suddenly felt too alone and lonely again. I was in the middle of a crowd, with a friend, in a famous mall here. I know he meant well, he wanted me to move on from Harris's shadow. And I told you, I'm trying. Can't we make peace with this reality?

“Kakak Darling, thank you for wanting me new gigetan, huh? But, I don't want to. I'm not ready. My heart is now in pain, Brother, how can I accept another heart to enter this unhealthy heart? I don't want to play games, brother. Too painful. Too dangerous. I don't want to mess with other people's feelings.”

Kak Raya had the courage to babble and flick her hands in the air. “Ah, don't think too far. You don't have to play with your heart first, Kay. Enjoy the sensation. If it fits, yes, please continue. If not, no problem either. What matters is that your attention is distracted first. Than you spend time for the ones that are not like dreaming but not clear that. That's all, I mean.”

I really don't know how to respond to her statement just now. Does he really feel sorry for my situation now or does he not want to get involved with me whose mood is always mellow as it has been lately? Oh, my God. My head suddenly hurt. My chest too. Everything was. However, in the midst of that suffering, I was grateful to still be able to put out the words I let out. Because, after all, I cannot allow people to ignore my principles. “I’m not letting people fall for me if I’m not planning on catching them with my own hands.”

However, that sentence of mine was only considered to be the wind then. Obviously Kak Raya did not listen to me at all judging from the response he gave next. “What if it's Che?”

Onde mande's!

To be continued ....