After Two Decades
The Heaviest Choice

I woke up early in the morning. In my bedroom the lights are dim. My house is quite luxurious, but still less luxurious and less spacious than Jan's house. In this house I live alone. Just like Jan, without a housekeeper. Jan still mending in his spacious house was living alone with his wife, while I was alone. But I don't feel lonely. I don't feel like I need friends in this house. I rarely stay home.

I got out of bed. Sit facing the wall next to the door. The wall was plain white, with no tables and cabinets by its side. I intentionally made it like that because of the wall I used to install a virtual screen. At the moment the wall still looks ordinary, but once I enter the voice command, then the wall turns into a large and bright super-sophisticated screen. The main screen of the computer operating system that allows me to perform and control almost all activities in this house even outside. With the same artificial intelligence as on my motorcycle, Dhen. That screen is the control panel, the center of all the electronic devices scattered in my house. A device that is the mother of everything. And I don't need any buttons or switches or anything like that. I just need to enter the voice command. Then the super-mutakir operating system called SOD-32 is turned on automatically.

"Good morning, Mr Renato! The weather this morning is cloudy, with an air temperature of 24°C. Confirmation to display more detailed weather information!"

"Open notification!" I said lazily.

"Opens the notification panel!"

Screen changing. Visible written columns about various information and updates. The top one was a missed call from Mr. Roy, director of the Korp. Masadepan. The rest are just emails about my work documents or incoming messages from social media and others.

I was just about to enter the voice command again when the screen suddenly changed and twinkled. Showing the name of Mr. Roy.

"Incoming call from Mr. Roy Sudipo!"

"Connect call!"

The screen appears to load pages. Then the video call was connected and Mr. Roy's face appeared there. Sixty-one year old man who at his old age still looks fresh fit. He is the highest leader of our company. Mr. Roy and I have their own closeness outside of office in the company. Mr. Roy, I consider him my own father. Ever since my biological father died, I've lived with Om Sunaryo for almost a year. After that I stayed with Mr. Roy at Mr. Roy's own request. At that time he was already the director of the company. The small company later changed its name and then expanded rapidly within two decades.

Mr. Roy and his wife had a child. However, unfortunately, their infant son died during a fire incident at the hospital. After that they lived together almost a decade without the company of a baby. Therefore, they decided to make me a child after I became an orphan. After all, Mr. Roy and my father are best friends in the company. Mr. Roy and his wife generously took care of and raised me, paid for my school, until I grew up and grew up, until my college graduation. After that I started working, bought a house and decided to stay home by myself and self-financed my post-graduate studies. Although actually where I work is the company owned by Mr. Roy himself, namely Korp. Masadepan. Since then I have lived in this house until now. My career finally got to this point. Just one step away from being a director, it's just that I'm not interested in leading the company.

Mr. Roy is more than just a boss to me. More than just a boss. More than just someone who taught me about the world. He is a father figure. One of the few truly valuable people I have. Uncountable to me. While his wife, my foster mother, the only woman I felt affection for despite not being my real mother, had died a few years ago. A sadness that also made me unable to hold back tears. It's Mr. Roy I have now. My papa.

"Good morning, son!" greet Mr. Roy. He looks so fresh in a nice uniform. He smiled knots with his thick mustache that began to gray.

"Good morning, sir!" I answered with a smile knots as well with my waking face.

"You just woke up, Ren? Get ready, I hope you have some time before your agenda today. I want to see you today. There's something I want to talk about!"

"Sorry, Sir! Why not just tell me now?"

"Can't do it, son. I need to talk to you face-to-face. So, get ready!"

"Good, Sir!" my answer. I don't want to ask too many questions. At most Mr. Roy will force me to again accept the position of director in his place. Which is the umpteenth time.

"All right, I'm waiting for you in the study! Good morning!" said Mr. Roy. After that, he decided on a call. His face disappeared from the screen replaced the theme screen.

"Good morning, dad!" shirihku. I love and respect him very much. However, his hard and strong attitude to elevate me to director made me a little disappointed. Or maybe I just don't think, that not one of the fathers who want his son to continue the company. Even though I'm not his real son, I'm all he's got. Such is.

"Dhen, lock the screen!"

The screen also becomes inactive. Then I got out of bed. Towards the bathroom.

***

At half-eight in the morning I reached the Korp headquarters. Masadepan. In my boss's office, my adoptive father, Mr. Roy. I sat down at his desk, while he looked up at me from his chair. His body is still healthy and fit, but his face can not lie to age. The old face looks full of fatigue, full of burdens of life carried for decades. There is a look of a face that has known the ins and outs of the world and carries with it all its burdens and sorrows. I can see Dad's face on his face. Sometimes I'm sad to see that face, but how.

"Ren," he said in a hoarse voice. "I am old and content to live in the world. Many experiences, have experienced all kinds of bitterness of life. It was appropriate for me to rest, instead of continuing to work until I forgot my age. It's time for me to take a break from work, enjoy my old days. Enjoying the results of what I've been fighting for all this time."

I lowered my head. I get the point. I don't like listening to this.

"Even so," continued Mr. Roy. "My age is not long. Sixty-one years is not a small number. All my life, I was not a saint and not a good person. I did a dirty deed to achieve my goal. A lot of regret and guilt are haunting in my gun day. It was time to quit the business world."

I let out a breath. I can guess exactly what to say next.

"So, Ren! Please, for the last time, please, so that you're willing to replace me. Lead this company!"

"Sir," I said gently. "Can't anyone else, there are so many potential employees, more powerful, smarter than me. There are many who can and want to replace you. Why should I?"

"But ..."

"I didn't ask or command you, Ren! I beg you, I beg you so much that you will. So that I can enjoy my old days, the rest of my life in peace and quiet."

I didn't understand what he meant, but I could see sincerity, and seriousness on his face. Sadness in his voice too. I don't understand what that means.

"Ren," said Mr. Roy again. "Don't think too long! I'm your father, who took care of you from childhood. Why are you refusing to lead this company? You deserve and deserve Ren, to lead the company that your father inherited. Why are you refusing?"

"It's not so, sir!"

"Renato!" Mr. Roy looked at me sharply. "Can't you help me just this one time? I asked for help. I don't want to die yet, if my son doesn't lead this company. If my son doesn't become a director, I won't be able to die in peace, son!"

"Sir, what are you talking about?"

"Ren, I beg you." Mr. Roy said in a hoarse voice mixed with a cough. Sounds so heartbreaking and heartbreaking. I'm really filled with that. However, I still need to think over and over again to accept the post.

"Sir, I am not disrespectful, Father, but this company deserves to be led by a wiser, more experienced, more intelligent and intelligent person!"

"Who, Ren? Who do you mean? You are the most experienced, wise, and full of smart plans. You haven't served as a director, but you managed to subvert one big company with no leftovers. Less what are you?"

I'm speechless. Losing words. I chose to lower my head again. I hate this discussion. I don't like to argue with my own father. This has put us at odds for months. Half of my job is to argue, I've had arguments and words with dozens of business people, lawyers, directors, managers, from dozens of companies at home and abroad. I always managed to do it calmly. However, this debate with my foster father, was the one I avoided the most.

"Rin! Look, the future of this company must continue. I can't possibly live for decades anymore. Understand, Son! I took care of you from childhood until you grew up and now it's better than me, for you to lead this company. Understand, Son!"

I kept quiet, unable to do anything. My position is stuck in a state of complete error.

"Well, Ren, then I'll give you two choices!" said Mr. Roy later.

I raised my face in curiosity. What else would Roy say?

"You pick one, Ren!" said it. "You're leading this company in my place. Or, you can refuse on one condition!"

"Condition?" I repeat confused. My face's dumbfounded. My hunch is not good.

"Married, Ren!"

Holy hooch! Mr. Roy's request was always impossible, always impossible for me to do. How would I answer it. I'm really mute. Missing words altogether. Leading the company, or getting married? Geez, Mr. Roy gave me the hardest choice of my life. I can't choose one for sure.

"Ren, vote. I'm just begging you to do one of them, Ren! Make choices!"

"Sir, this is a really hard choice, sir! I can't decide quickly. I need to think over and over again."

"Ren," said Mr. Roy. It's a very sad tone. I can't bear to see that face. Hearing such a voice. How sad.

"I'm sorry, sir!" I got up from the chair.

"More!"

"I'm sorry, sir! Please give me some time to think. Please give me time to calm down and think as maturely as possible. To make my best choice."

I left Mr. Roy's desk. Get out of the room with a relaxed pace but carry the burden of new thoughts again in my life. A most decisive determination. The hardest choice between two things is impossible for me. I hate being caught in this situation. So hateful.

"May you don't choose wrong, son!" said Mr. Roy.

I took a breath and finally passed. I know Mr. Roy must love and appreciate me. I respect him too. We just have different opinions and views.

This is really shitty.