After Two Decades
Truth from the Past

The city streets are getting crowded. Inhibiting me from speeding. I had to lower my speed. I'm on my way to a simple residential complex, where Om Sunaryo lives.

After the debate with Mr. Roy, I decided to postpone my work agenda first. I chose to visit Om Sunaryo. Because last night, he called me for some reason. I rarely call. I could have called back to ask. However, I chose to come and speak directly. We have not met for a long time. So it never hurts to put aside my busy work and come visit. After all, Om Sunaryo was once my parent. Om Sunaryo is also one of a small number of precious people that I have. And perhaps, the only one left who has a direct blood relation with me. He is the surviving father's brother.

By noon, I had already arrived at a residential complex on the edge of the city. Residential areas are dominated by simple houses that tend to be quiet. I stopped in front of a white house. The house has stood for decades, and still remains solid to this day. The house where I used to live. The house that I was just looking at brought me back to the memories of my childhood, two decades ago. The recovery period when I was grieved by my father's death. Until I finally accepted the reality, everything happened in this house. Now that two decades have passed, this house is still standing. I was pensively in front of his antique fence reminiscing about those memories.

I was pensive for a long time, until the owner of the house appeared to open the fence.

"Oh, Renato! Coming, boy!" said Om Sunaryo knowing that I was standing there. I smiled kindly greeting him. Then I parked my motorcycle in the yard.

"So, I heard the sound of a motorcycle stopping in front of the fence, so I got out" explained Om Sunaryo. He led me inside. I stepped while looking around all corners of the house, nostalgic.

"Yes, Om, I want to visit Om today. Before being busy with the work agenda, so I took it here," I said.

We're already inside. I sat on an antique wicker chair. Overlooking the ancient wooden table with its distinctive carvings. Looking at the wall of the house. The displays that have been around since I was a child, are even increasing. The atmosphere of this house really brings me back to the past emotionally.

"How's it going, Om?" my many.

"That's it, Ren. The more days I get older, gout relapses, sore linu, already sickly, but at least I am still energetic to do activities around here," replied Om Sunaryo with a bland laugh. I caught the sadness of his voice. His old face looked increasingly wrinkled. Her hair is perfectly bleached. His body is weak, often stricken with diseases that are complications, no longer strong to work. Fortunately, she has a stepchild who will take care of and meet her needs. It was with his stepson that he lived here. While his wife had long since died.

"What about you yourself, Ren? You're so busy I see, working every day without any time off. Don't let you get sick from overworking, Ren!"

"No, Om. Take it easy, I'm fine."

"Thank God then. Oh, yes, thank you, you want to visit me here, Ren! I haven't seen you in a long time, sometimes I miss you too."

I smiled kindly.

"Oh, my gosh, sorry, Ren, I forgot to give you a treat! Just a moment ...." Om Sunaryo soon rose from his position.

"Eh, don't bother, Om!" I'm trying to hold him. "Om don't get too tired, it's good to get plenty of rest!"

However, still my father's sister stepped into the kitchen, to make me some drinking water. He said, "It's okay, Ren, count the sports for me."

I let out a breath. Not waiting for long, Om Sunaryo returned from the kitchen carrying two cups of hot tea that was still steaming. A classic drink that never loses its taste.

"Thank you, Om, sorry for the trouble!" I tried to help Om Sunaryo who seemed to have trouble putting a cup to the table.

"Om" I said at last. "Actually my arrival today, to ask one thing."

"Oh, yeah, Ren? What's the matter?"

"Last night, Om called, right? early morning?" my many.

"Ah, right, Ren. I just remembered it" replied Om Sunaryo. I saw a change in his face. It looked like he was remembering something sad.

"What's up, Om? Why did you call in the early hours? Is there something ... something Om wants to convey?" my many.

"Actually yes, Ren! There are things I want to tell you," replied Om Sunaryo, his face this time really looks sad no doubt. He breathed heavily.

"Last night," he said later. "I dreamt of meeting your father. In the dream, your father was very angry with me. He is very angry at one thing that concerns you. He's angry because I'm not being straight with you, Ren. Because I'm still covering up one thing in my life to this day. And your father was so angry, he wanted me to tell you everything without being covered up."

I'm dumbfounded. Anything covered up from me? Whatisit? Did Om Sunaryo lie to me? Or is there something he never told me about dad after he died? But I really don't know. It's been a long time since my father died, but two decades have passed.

"Then when I woke up, I became restless and unsettled" continued Om Sunaryo. "I realized my mistake of not being forthright on this far. I was scared, feeling guilty, and agitated for once that night. Sangking not because of my thoughts, I called your mobile number intending to directly tell it that night as well. However, you didn't lift, of course, you must be sleeping. I didn't even think about it."

"Sorry, Om!" my spoken. "But, what is Om hiding from me? Is this about dad?"

"Yes, Ren!" Om Sunaryo nodded bitterly. He looks so sad. "It's about your father's death, which I never told you until today."

"What ... Is that Om?" many doubt. Seeing the face of Om Sunaryo who was so wrinkled sad had made me feel uncomfortable. What do I not know about my father's death? Do you have a little secret or something? Or do you have a message that hasn't been delivered to me?

"Maybe you know your father died in a car accident" said Sunaryo. "But the truth is, your father wasn't in an ordinary car accident. Because, actually your father ... your father ...."

Om Sunaryo seems very difficult to say. His voice was like stuck.

"Your father was actually .. a victim of murder."

My face was hot. A very painful fact. It hurts even more when I found out about this after two decades ago my father died.

"Really, I'm sorry, Ren! I knew you'd be mad at me, but I never meant to hurt you."

"I know your father was murdered, but I don't want to tell you. Because seeing you run amok then lock yourself up to pain, has made my heart break. It doesn't feel like your heart is breaking any more. After all, you were a kid back then. And over time you get bigger, I still can't bear to tell."

"Who else knows?"

"On average, the people who knew about it are dead, Ren. Perhaps, your foster father knew that too."

Damn, I cursed in my heart. Even Mr. Roy knows that and it's the same as not telling me. I lived with him for a dozen years. Do I not deserve to know?

"Why was I never told that?" I asked in a hoarse and trembling voice. Full of emotions of sadness and frustration.

Om Sunaryo was silent.

"Who?" I also sharply filled with hatred. "Who killed my father?"

Om Sunaryo shook his head wryly. He said, "Nobody knows, Ren! To this day, the police have also failed to uncover who was responsible for the incident."

"Nobody knows?" I just don't believe anymore.

"I'm sorry about that, too, but that's how it is, no one knows."

I was silent after that. Down full of sadness. With old wounds that suddenly gap and give pain. I covered my face with my hands, and I also nodded. Om Sunaryo shifted and embraced me.

"Patience, Son! I'm sorry I hid it from you. Now that I'm glad you know, I hope you can take it with a cheerful chest."

I lift my face heavy. Sighs long. My strength strengthens my heart. Then stand up.

"I'm sorry, Om, I have to say goodbye!"

Om Sunaryo looked at me with pity. He can't say anything more. He led me to the outside yard. Then I finally left the old house with sadness. Drove back to the causeway bringing old wounds that come back painful. Dad, why do I have to feel all this? Wh why?

I drove with a chaotic feeling. The mind is not bad. Even I almost had an accident if I was less alert. Today started with a lot of painful and annoying things. I didn't expect my day to break down like this. I hate this day.

***

I arrived at the office parking lot, after driving in a state of disorganized mind for almost half an hour.

After getting out of the vehicle, I rushed into the office. I took a quick step without even greeting the few employees I passed by. They just looked at me in wonder. I hurriedly entered the elevator and waited impatiently. As soon as the elevator doors opened, again I stepped hurriedly along the corridor. Ignoring all the office staff who greeted me in a friendly manner. I went to a room I visited this morning. Mr. Roy's room.

I entered the room without knocking without excuse. It made Mr. Roy surprised and a little upset. However, looking at who entered was me, his face changed as crisp.

"Ah, Ren, you're finally back here without me calling. Have you made your choice, son?"

I didn't answer. I sat in a chair, facing with a face that stared intently full of emotion. Mr. Roy was surprised to see me.

"What's wrong with you, son?"

"Did you know about ... the cause of my father's death?" I asked without further ado. My voice vibrates.

Suddenly Mr. Roy's face suddenly shocked like being struck by lightning in broad daylight. He didn't think for a moment about what I was going to ask. His eyes ruffled.

"Jawab, Sir! Did you know that my father ... died of ... murder?"

Mr. Roy's face was completely in shock. His expression revealed anxiety and fear. Sad and sorry. Jumbled.

"Jawab, Sir!" my firmness. Even with a snarling voice. I was really emotional, to the point of being able to snap at him. I forgot that he was my foster father.

"I'm sorry, Ren! I'm sorry!" said Mr. Roy with a trembling voice. "Please forgive me! I didn't mean to hide this, but I never got to the heart. I don't want to make you sad! I'm ...."

"Enough!" cut me. I immediately stood up from the position. He looked into his eyes with a sharp look of hatred. I should have understood the reason and understood it. However, the condition of the heart that was really sick and disappointed covered my mind, making me dark and scruffy.

"I'm disappointed!"

I left the room in a hurry.

"I'm sorry, Ren!" The sentence continued to be repeated by Mr. Roy throughout my steps until I could not hear his voice anymore.

Throughout my steps, the staff were confused to see me. They wanted to ask, but were reluctant. My face stares fiercely when they say hello. Hadni also called me to stay in the study, but I said no. I don't have time for anyone right now.

I'm back in the parking lot. Immediately ride my mount. Running on crowded city streets. No matter the atmosphere of the city. I drove on carrying a deep pain and sadness. Go home to my house. To hell with my agenda today. I canceled everything. I don't want to be disturbed.