Canvas Aksara
EKSA

CANVAS 10

[EKSA]

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While everyone else was asleep in their sleep, Regan was desperately holding back the pain wrapped around her stomach. He leaned over at the sink spewing out all of his entrails with cold sweat drenching his body. Regan's eyes were watery, her hands clutching tightly at the edge of the sink. Having just finished washing his mouth, his stomach was already churning again and he regurgitated the food that went into his stomach last night.

Dawn had fallen as Regan returned to her bed in limp. He stared at the ceiling with his hands flattening his right abdomen. The twisted sensation that wrapped around her with pain made Regan feel de ja vu. This pain was so familiar, even his trembling and agitated hand that whack felt the same.

Regan clenched her jaws tightly as the turmoil re-emerged to tear apart her stomach. While inwardly he cried out loudly, 'Why must it repeat itself?!'. Regan is not stupid to not realize that the disease he had suffered first relapsed again. He was convicted of liver cancer. Although Regan has done the treatment and make sure the cancer cells disappear, but the possibility of the disease reappeared also there. Regan had anticipated that it would happen again. But, even so he still could not take it in stride. Nah! Regan can't calm down at a time like this.

There's a lot of things Regan has to do. He did not have time to take care of therapy and all sorts of things to treat this disease. Regan still has to catch up. He had to make sure that there would be no other candidates replacing his position as the Student Council Chairman. He has to find a solution for his relationship with Alena. He had to fix his name in front of the ZHS Executive Board. There are still many things that Regan has to do, he is very busy, every time filled with demands for demands.

So, armed with all the necessities, Regan got out of bed and immediately prepared for school. Although it is now Sunday, ZHS has never set a holiday. ZHS is the only one doing productive activities on holidays. It's been going on for decades so it's not strange anymore.

While putting on her uniform Regan turned on the television in her room. He always followed the morning news, seeing the developments that occurred in the world of Industry and Politics. Although Regan hates to admit it but clearly he did to see how far his two brothers have gone.

And Regan saw it. For the umpteenth time in each morning he again saw the faces of two people appear alternately on a glass screen. With a variety of positive news that accompanies them and a brilliant achievement that makes the name De Fornax even more glorified.

Until the part of Aeera that was being interviewed appeared, Regan was stopped from installing her tie. He was stopped by a question addressed to Aeera.

"Miss Galilei, I hear you have a younger brother who is no less proud of him. But, he was never seen in the media. Is your relationship okay?"

Aeera gave a short laugh very charmingly, "We'll be fine if she's not busy with her myriad of achievements. He was even busier than his two brothers. That kid is so competitive, he's our pride"

Then the next conversation seemed to evaporate in the air. Regan heard nothing but three words that kept ringing in her ear.

... he's our pride.

... he's our pride.

... he's our pride.

... he's our pride.

... he's our pride.

Regan was crazy to repeat those words. Shortly afterwards he laughed. Terrible, he thought. Even Aeera could become such a camouflage monster for the sake of her good image, acting as if they were indeed that close. To just say hello to each other, they are reluctant.

Regan rubbed his face rough, he turned off the television with his head constantly repeating the question, why can life be this tired?

Regan bristles at the thought of Aeera's smile and laughter on television. He felt nauseous in his stomach as soon as Aeera's sweet words reverberated. It's disgusting! Regan was unceasingly disgusted. Especially when he went down to the dining table and met Mom and Her Sisters had gathered there.

Do not imagine a harmonious family breakfast. If it wasn't for the man sitting next to Aeera, Regan could have made sure a moment like this would never have existed. If Regan is not wrong, the man who was talking to Aaron was one of Aeera's important clients.

"Regan's here, let's start the breakfast" Irene said with her signature smile.  A smile is just a formality.

Aeera seemed enthusiastic about welcoming Regan, she played the role of an older sister very well. "Jim, introduce this Regan I've been telling you about a lot."

"More amazing than you describe" commented the man named Jimmy. Regan replied with a short smile.

"Our scene is the most amazing."

Trang!

Regan spontaneously drops her spoon and fork as Aeera again performs so well. For the umpteenth time in the day, Regan felt her entire body bristled by Aeera's words. It's hideous! So horrible! How can Regan live among people like this?

"Sorry, I just remembered having to come quick. Excuse me."

Regan hastily finished her breakfast before she could touch anything on her plate. He breezed away with the first purpose of going to the toilet. As a matter of loyalty Regan washes her hands repeatedly until her skin is peeled off. Even so he still added soap and continued washing as if there was dirt that he had to remove immediately. Regan felt like a caterpillar all over her body. Now not just his hands, but he felt like rubbing his entire body right now. Regan couldn't shake that disgust. All still continues until the vibration of the phone in his pants pocket makes him realize.

Regan's breath was breathless, so aware that her hands had been flushed and flaking in some parts. At a time like this, the pain felt by him. He shook his head slowly and rushed to stop this. As soon as it was done Regan immediately headed for the car that would transport her to school. There was a driver waiting.

As a result of an incident that threatened her position as Student Council Chair and drained her disciplinary points, Regan was more strictly regulated by her mother. His movements are limited, he is always supervised. What he could and could not do was already listed by his mother in such detail. Regan who now is like a doll moved by a rope from the fingers of the Mother.

When Regan was about to enter the car, her mother came unexpectedly. The woman came in just to say a few words and then came back down and let the car pass carrying Regan to ZHS.

While Regan was silent in her place looking blankly out the window with her hands clenched tightly. Two words of intimidating command from her mother kept repeating in Regan's mind. And it seemed to be a giant hammer that unceasingly struck his heart repeatedly.

'Consider your attitude!'

Sometimes Regan thinks it would be nice if her mother died a dozen years ago. At least if his father were to live until now, he wouldn't need to suffer this much.

Because with the woman who has given birth to it, Regan feels like dealing with a predator who is ready to prey at any time. Instead of feeling protected by the figure of a mother who is said to be so valuable for the life of a human being. Regan felt threatened with every breath.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

"Alena!"

"Bang-"

As soon as he turned his head and found the innocent look of Panji, he was immediately speechless. Patience in heart: 'Jude, yes, no pa-pa. Lucky darling.'

"Bang-? Uh?" Panji questions the swearing that Alena did not get away with. Instead of being insensitive, he just wanted to pretend to bego.

"Fuck." Reply to Alena with a big smile on her lips.

The long banner of O's without a sound then took the seat of Lesehan near Alena's feet. Their location is now being-in case Siena says 'purify'- in a greenhouse near the hall.

Speaking of the greenhouse, when Panji leaned his head on the knee of Alena who was sitting on a chair, he remembered the time of his relationship and Alena first went public. Panji even though he looks so calm, he is originally vengeful. He still holds a grudge about Alena and Regan who used to be very visible close. Moreover, the speech of Regan who is still ringing in his ears like the sound of mosquitoes until now:

"While you're still trying to step up to erode the distance between you and Alena, there's no harm, right, if I hold it first?"

Original. Panji gegayaan berlagak cool even though in the heart misuh-misuh not koruan. Duh, remember Panji got upset. Just like that, he immediately took a position to get up. Just a split second until his pair of arms closed tightly around Alena.

"Why?" He asked while looking up to see Panji's face that was very vengeful. On a whim, Alena swung their arms left and right. He chuckled softly, laughing at his own behavior.

Cutely.

"Pennants.... Banner-Aji.... Aji, that's funny too, huh? Ji, Na's boyfriend, Alena."

Panji's frown shriveled, this is Alena what's the matter of life, anyway? Kok tumbens....

"Yes, Na Ji's boyfriend is too."

The ends are also covered. If Siena saw the two lovebirds now this is certainly out of the envy of hasad and envy of him. But lately Siena has rarely wandered around the ZHS. The news is that the child is busy making the 'friend'.

"Why you?"

"Hm?"

The banner looked down at Alena's face in her arms. There was a pause long enough until then he replied, "that's okay."

Then the hug came off and Alena realized something was wrong as soon as Panji crouched down in front of her. The man sighed, blatantly revealing a tired look on his face. But only a split second until then Panji plays Alena's hair in a rancid tone. Either only Alena's feelings, but lately Panji has become much more expressive than before.

"Just starting the exculpation hour..."

"Yes?"

"...."

"An appointment?"

The man shook his head and switched to playing Alena's fingers. It's really hard to guess, Alena thought.

"You're a science ex, aren't you?"

Didn't Panji know? Why ask again? Even without Alena saying Panji can know things about Alena. Thinking of that so reminded Alena of him who all did not know with Panji.

"Al, skip your ass, huh?"

Alena did not have time to respond when Panji made a sound again while shaking with a serious face.

"Can't skip, can't."

Which made Alena laugh amusedly at Panji's random behavior. Come to think of it as rare for them to interact like a real couple like this. The banner usually tends to be silent, uncaring and 'yes, yes' just how Alena wants it. In contrast to now, this banner is more.... What yes? Ibetkan colors, it according to Alena more colorful.

"The more days you get noisy. Is there anything good?"

The banner was silent for a moment, his fingers that were holding Alena's hand came off. He bent his knees and propped his chin above the fold of his arm above the knee. With her eyes on Alena, she began to speak.

"If I'm noisy you don't like it?"

Alena thought for a second, "Why?"

"Don't like it? Like?"

"Look?" Kekeh Alena with her hands outstretched to touch the soft Panji hair strands. However, when his hand was caught by the big hand of Panji.

"I've been having nightmares lately. Maybe because you think you will return," Panji said calmly as he put Alena's hand back on the girl's lap.

"Where to go back?"

Next to the eyebrows Panji raised up. He then stood up and patted the ground attached to his pants.

"Awaited, tuh!"

Alena turned her head looking at the direction that Panji was pointing at. He found Regan standing near one of the pillars at the edge of the hall. Netra lekaki was clearly fixed on him so he then brought his body to rise. Alena glanced at her watch, only then did she understand Regan's whereabouts here. Now that they're in the exculpation hour, they're an excrement and Regan can be sure to look for him to go together. Because actually also, in the science experience they both are the pair of Chairman with Vice. The excursion would not have started without the presence of the two, naturally Regan looked for Alena up here.

That unnatural one....

"Alena," calls Panji dividing Alena's focus. The man blocked Alena's gaze by standing right in front of her. Alena had not had time to ask, she had come forward to give a light kiss on the top of Alena's head.

"Alena, I'm your boyfriend."

"Ah, yes."

Alena's dazed. He obediently complies as Panji leads him to Regan. Alena's brain was empty as the two men clashed with each other. Until Panji withdraws first leaving Alena alone with Regan. Alena's gaze was in no way separated from Panji's back that was getting away. At least until he heard the bitter tone in Regan's call and found the sight of the man staring blankly at him.

"I want to tell you...."

In that instant, as the wind swept the Panji kiss on the top of Alena's head he also brought with him their sweet memories to be played in the air. As Alena realizes that she can't help but care about Regan, so does Regan who knows that Alena can't possibly ignore her.

Like them, Panji also fully understood. That no matter how good Alena smiled before her, her twinkle of eyes would never emit anything similar.

"I've been having nightmares lately. Maybe because you think you're coming back,"

That sentence has an extension, though,

"Maybe it's because I thought you'd come back. and you did want to go back to him, the house you craved for."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I don't know how long Panji has been sitting quietly in front of the blank white canvas with his three adopted children. Who doesn't remember, it's looohh... The trio of Oyen who are bullish and hairy.

"Yen, what do you do, huh?"

"Meong," said the three cute creatures together.

That is, so the stalk Panji to ask the cat. Many times he took a curve to cut the brush, but then undo it. Panji has also sighed many times, feeling lost inspiration to paint even though his hands are itching to make something.

"Ck!"

In the end, Panji gave up. Pallets that were originally in his hand he threw just like that, fortunately the paint was not scattered. The three small cats nearby then shrouded the pallet with a capital of curiosity. So inevitably Panji led them to enter the cage provided in the corner of the balcony near the entrance to his room.

Then on the floor of the balcony Panji spread his body with both hands stretched wide. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the stretch of the whitened sky shrouded in clouds.

"Dec, borrow the earphones--"

Panca's sentence hangs like he's staring at the doorway. His eyes clearly caught the messy balcony and the Panji lying helplessly there. Just by just that was enough for him to shout excitedly and panic Panji who was cool lying down.

"MOM!!! LOOK AT ADEK'S ROOM!! MARAHIN BUN, MARAHIN!"

"HAISH! SMOOCH!"

Just like that a ruby floated into Panca's head. In the second the foot was still complaining of the pain of his body being pushed to fall unaesthetically. Not yet protested, the pounding of the door made him jump in shock.

"God! It's not polite that you're the same brother!"

Which banner might. Even Panca who was made was even more upset when she heard the boy lock the door from the inside and the sound of curtains being closed. It's smart that he's got self-protection. If so Panca where there is access to enter again.

Intentions want to prank Si Bungsu instead ended gout. Mother is also not at home, originally Panca just from shouting. Tau so Panca better just enter Panji room.

"Ims, you hell! Mang delicious, belom bangkotan has been gout!" That's Siena, her son is busy supplying chips into his mouth. Technically he was playing chess with Dad, just because Dad thought so late so he took to fill the stomach in the kitchen.

Panca who went down the stairs with her hands stroking the eel and rubbing her buttocks twitching, keki katai so by the sister.

"It's not as bad as a nosebleed like an ashtray, '" he said as he passed through the kitchen.

"Ungkit teross.... Uh, I'm shit so is elo, yeah!"

Then the war of the two brothers began. Father only resigned when Panca who avoided Siena nudged the table until the chessboard fell scattered. The science of one that ended up being a milestone where the two oldest children attacked each other.

On the other hand, Panji was rolling around in bed playing a mobile phone. It was only a moment until he heard Panca's long, stern roar sounding in pain. Actually, Panca was outside the famous thugs once, but when he was at home, he was nothing more than a victim of bullying his two younger siblings.

"Father fool."

After that Panji sat in the middle of the bed, staring around the room. Like a man who doesn't know what to do. Usually, if you are bored at the most bored stage, he plays rubik. But the fate of that thing now somewhere after he used to throw Panca earlier.

Initially Panji wanted to go out only, down to the bottom joined by his two brothers wrestling ria. But, just about to touch the doorknob he turned around again and crouched down beside the bed. The new banner remembers the box he took from the warehouse the other day.

The banner pulled out the medium-sized plastic box and immediately opened the lid without waiting for a long time. A lot of rubics in the box, after the random Panji there are about eleven rubics. He took out another item, there were toy cars the size of an adult's palm, then there were other toys.

In addition to the eleven rubies, the other toys each numbered two and the same. Like the cars, they are both dark blue. Then the robot, the ball, and the other toys are each of two with the same color and shape.

The pennants took out one by one. If you see the toys scattered on the floor, Panji will definitely be lectured all day. So messy. The banner also had no intention to compile it.

More than half of the box he took out, until he found a familiar necklace tucked between the wheels of a dislodged toy motor. Panji almost thought it was the necklace he used to wear if only he had not seen the black star pendulum on the necklace.

Groping his neck, Panji pulled out the black crescent moon pendulum on the necklace he was wearing. Then he put the two necklaces together.

For some reason, both have stories.

<<<<<<<<<<<<

Once upon a time, when Panji was a child he often traveled with Father and Mother. Whether it's to urban even to rural areas. However, after getting bigger, for some reason Panji then just settled in the house and did not want to come with Father and Mother again.

Maybe because his memory is not so good that Panji forgot. He also forgot what he had done first when traveling with Father and Mother. And now Panji is digging up memories of those times.

Sitting in the shade of a Linden tree near the river behind his house, Panji tries to remember his childhood. He was too late in his thoughts to the point of being unconscious when a small child was sitting next to him.

The pennant gasped as the little boy patted his arm furiously. He turned his head in shock, and grew even more shocked when he saw the carefree face of the young boy. A child who is about 5 years old and....

"Dad! There's fish!" The boy exclaimed cheerfully running towards the adult man he called Father.

The father laughed and broke his son's hair, "Pick fish or Eksa?"

The boy replied, "Eksa!"

The father then carried the child on his shoulders, "Eksa or Dad?" ask again.

Without hesitation the Child replied, "Eksa!"

And the Father laughed with his son's innocent answer. Until the boy rebelled when a woman came to them.

"Mother!"

"Act carefully!"

Just like that Panji was made to freeze to see the little family. Father, Mother and.... And her 5-year-old self.

The banner was too focused on the scene in front of him. Until the moment a drop of tears flowed from his cheek he then realized. That he was no longer standing on the bank of the river. He is now trapped in an all-white room with various tools that Panji does not know its function.

"Aksa,"

That's-her-name. Father called. Panji looked over and found Dad behind him. But strange, is Dad really this tall? Panji had to look up to see the face of the Father until his neck hurt because Dad was too high.

"Dad.. high."

Stagger pennant. Was he really the one who spoke? But why does it sound like a child's voice. When he was about to grab the hand of the Father, Panji also saw his sturdy hand turned into a tiny and look fragile.

"Want to be carried?"

Not yet able to answer, Panji already felt his body float. He was carried by Dad. Father's warm body and the soothing aroma of Father's body make Panji forget this oddity. To hell with all, Panji had long dreamed of going back to these times.

He wrapped his tiny arms around the Father's neck. And just like that the eyes of Panji have warmed up. He misses hugging me like this. Just then Panji felt Dad's big hand rub his back.

"Cup cup. Mother's child mewek this huh? Kasian...."

Mother's delicate hand rubs the clear liquid that stagnates in the corner of Panji's eye. Instead of stopping, get treated as Panji even cries louder. Really for anything, even though all this time he never disputed anything. But Panji felt lonely every time Mom and Dad left and didn't come home for months because of work. Panji always does not know where he should lean when sometimes feeling tired, even though all he does is school and leha-leha at home. Panji felt deadlocked every step of the way whenever he excitedly opened the door of the room and all he met was emptiness.

And with that, even though it's just a dream. Pl-please.... The banner pleaded with.... Please don't wake her from this beautiful dream. For this one, can Panji beg for an apostolate?

"Sst.... Mother's child is whiny?"

The small banner that has moved into the arms of Mother is still as much as you like. Then he heard Dad's laughter, melodious.

"Dad has a gift, for Aksa. But don't cry anymore, will you?" persuade Dad to wipe the remains of tears on Panji's cheeks. He smiled widely until his eyes narrowed and stretched out the gift he mentioned before the banner.

Panji's tiny hand grabbed the thing, a necklace with a black star pendulum. His round eyes rubbed full of questions to the Father.

"Don't cry anymore, huh? I didn't forget Aksa, anyway. You are both sons of Father, if you can the other one must also get. Sana, I'm better with Eksa!"

The exca?

Panji was busy with his thoughts with the necklace in his grasp. Without realizing it, he now lives alone. The banner calls Father and Mother, but no one answers. The banner is afraid of being left behind. He wants to find Mom and Dad. But his feet would not move.

"Aksa,"

Pennants jerked. Suddenly there were two children hugging each other in front of him. The only one was her 5-year-old self who was fond of holding a necklace. The other one turned his back to Panji, his face uninvolved.

Panji looked at his hand, it was back to how it was. Not just a tiny hand like that. Then he looked again at his 5-year-old self.

The little pennant smiled cheerfully once and then played with the boy. Light from outside that infiltrated through the ventilation gap makes Panji difficult to see the face of the other child.

Panji wants to approach them. Just one step of his foot moved, the clanking of the piano made him stop. No matter what happened, Panji was again unconscious with the atmosphere again changing suddenly.

In the white room full of life support tools, Panji saw the same child he saw earlier sitting in front of the piano. Then not far from him the little Panji was playing with pencil and paper.

The melody of keys by keys slashes Panji's heart with a deep longing. It was like calling something that was silent deep within Panji. The familiar feeling of tightness made Panji feel lost footing. In the midst of the roaring breath, he sobbed and his subconscious pushed his lips softly.

"Exec...."

The little pennant laughed showing the results of the picture. Then he ran out saying he wanted to show it off to Daddy and Mommy. While the child who played the piano was just silent in his place. He sat back to Panji, but for some reason Panji seemed to be able to see the lethargic look on the boy's face.

"Guide!"

Before long the other child came calling the child by the name Pandu. The boy called Pandu straightened his head which was originally bowed lethargic.

"Regan!"

Pandu turned around with vigor. A little more Panji could see his face. Yet.....

PRANK!

Pennants jerked. His breath held for a few seconds until then he scooped up oxygen greedily. His chest was rising and falling irregularly. After a while, he realized that he had just woken up from a dream.

The pennant gulped in between his gasping breath, he turned to the side as he could feel a pillow wet from the warm melt flowing from his pair of eyes.

The pieces of the story from his dream sprang up. Panji tried to remember everything. Necklaces. Exa. The piano. Then there is.... What's again? Panji forced his head into thinking, digging up memories in his dreams. A futile effort because what he got was precisely the pain in his head.

Among the raindrops that were heard, Panji's sobs dominated the sound. Sayup-sayup he heard the sound of Mother nagging Panca for breaking the glass. Then Father's voice mediated the commotion.

The banner choked when then the sound of his family's laughter sounded. He curled up with a sob that he could not stop. Until his lips blurted out of his will.

"Exec...."

And Panji could only embrace himself in that agonizing claustrophobic. Under the rain, a longing led the Panji to sink into bitterness.