Canvas Aksara
WHY SHOULD ALENA?

...[.WHY SHOULD ALENA?]...

.../•...

...\•/...

Tonight the rain fell again soaking up the suburban housing. I don't know that the other side of the world is as cold as that place, Panji doesn't know. All he knew was the wind and the raindrops that stormed the roof of his house causing a noise that was strangely soothing.

The pennant was leaning against the wall next to the large glass window in his room. The window curtain is outcrops until it shows the scenery out there. Lucky or not, but tonight the electricity is flowing should help the lighting. Neon lights on the plantation (which he himself did not know what function the lights were installed there) help Panji's eye view to see the backyard susana of the house tonight.

The window glass felt cold, making Panji feel at home stick his head linger there. His roar of breath formed dew on that clear surface. The banner sighed on the sidelines as the rain spatter subsided. His whole body was perfectly cold, especially the open area, ears, face, hands, feet, it was cold. Panji was so cold that he assumed that parts of his body had frozen.

Tonight, is the umpteenth night of the previous nights where Panji threw his bedtime to curl up next to the big transparent window. He could no longer count how much time he spent just looking at the expanse of the backyard. Every night, just looking blankly and he himself did not know what to think at such times. Panji is not the type of person who daydreams a lot, because the fact of daydreaming is because there is something to think about. It's more towards the quiet, the quiet who's actually quiet. Shut up in the mouth, the heart also the mind. Completely empty as he began to dissolve choosing silence.

But, tonight something disturbs Panji's silence. From the constant ticking of the clock in between the rain, the Panji niche triggers a question. A simple thing that many people out there might question, 'Is life fair?'. It is not so clear to Panji why he came to the question. He only remembered seeing someone who was crying with a face as loud as steel, someone who smiled a lot but only got a reply, someone who questioned the justice on the stretch of the pitch night sky above him.

Ugh, it's unpleasant to be silent with a question. Because when we do not get an answer, new questions arise crowded. All interconnected. Like a branch, from the central branch branch branch, then from the branch branch branch again and so on as if there were no end to the branches continue to grow. Panji himself gets more and more overwhelmed until he returns to the question again, 'Is life fair?'.

Looks like Panji's been unlucky tonight. His whole heart was raging, like a kettle tree that suddenly fell into a storm, swinging back and forth following the fierce gusts of the wind. And in the middle of it all his memories came back in the afternoon three days ago. The day that the school's Editorial team published the news with the headline: 'REPRESENTATIVE OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL & MYSTERIOUS FIGURE, SPRING OF THE 2ND ROUND'.

That day after the study, Panji woke up when the room was empty. It was an hour and a half late from home. The study that took place in the open hall was completed on time at 15:00 earlier which means when Panji woke up clockwise showed at 16:30. At that time the sun had already swept to the west, even it seemed that the sky had darkened faster. Vaguely membayung also began to explore the skyline.

The banner turned to his side, Alena was no longer in her original place. Instead of moving to a long bench in a greenhouse on the edge of the hall. Panji saw it, the girl sitting on her back could even know Panji's distinctive flat look on her face. There was a cold impression but also friendly, surely that was plastered on Alena's face now.

Want to get closer, but in fact the calculation of Panji is wrong. A few steps from the original place, Panji can see the silhouette of Alena wrapped in an afternoon sunlight. His smile was framed with shade, shaded a tree in the midst of the hot heat that craze, making cool like a breeze that swept the sweat in a tormenting sultry. The thing that makes Panji urung step closer, the smile is not to set it down, not for his sultry repellent. But imprinted for someone Alena had determined by herself, someone who stood obstructed by the lushness of the plants in the pots that lined up. And that someone slowly clarified his gray silhouette, welcoming the cool stopover that Alena offered for him following the relief that was imprinted throughout his body's gestures.

Panji was just silent at that time, exactly did not know what to put himself in position, had to react how, he did not understand. No one taught him to respond to these kinds of things, nor did he learn to react to them. The banner is used to silence for most of the events. Silence that holds more meaning, silence that covers more flavor, in silence Panji is never completely indifferent to everything.

If anyone sees the gaze of Panji at that time, it will be found emptiness in a pair of dark blue neutrals. Completely empty beside his heart creaking profusely. He often ignored it, until it became a time bomb, all piled up and waiting for the count of fingers to explode later.

In that instant, as Panji's eyes dimmed in the sheen of the afternoon light, Alena turned her head. Their neutrals collided in one straight line, slowly the dim glow was bright again. Panji stared with his eyes wide open Alena who also looked at herself at the edge of the hall. Just seconds Panji's eyes dimmed back, he blinked once and then turned away. From the tail of her eyes, Alena exchanged glances at someone nearby again.

Nonsense if one could be completely detached from the past. In fact, the fabric of the past story is like a tangled thread about various subsequent stories, interfering with a new coil of thread stringing intricate crochet strings.

Regan is one of Alena's past, so why? After all, there was nothing that could prevent the man from also being present in the present or also the future of Alena later.

Of the many branches created from the question 'Is life fair?' some of them Panji found the question, 'Can those memories be erased? Can a piece of the abstract coil of that time be pulverized? Can the thread from the past just be stored neatly in place and not interfere with the new knitting in the present?' and there are many other questions that arise that disturb the tranquility of Panji night after that day.

He is anxious about the abstract form of the past, which is like his window glass, transparent but has a real form. He was worried about a future that was not reached by his logic. The banner fretted over all the uncertainties, all the things he could not control, could not read like the writings of Acrhoma, could not he solve like the formulas of physics, he could not solve, it cannot be calculated like mathematical numbers. Everything felt vague and unreasonable. But the funny thing is it all even feels very real, and also happens in real. However Panji denied it, everything was real.

From his dim eyes, Panji stared blankly at the raindrops out there that were left behind by one or two. He could hear the chanting of crickets after the rain had subsided, along with the gurgling of water from the river tens of meters from where he was. The rain had subsided, but the cold was still left. Just like the time that has passed but his memories continue to follow at the next times.

The banner bent its knees, slowly wrapped around a pair of arms and rested its head there. His eyes blinked once or twice looking blankly out the window.

Cold to the bones piercing away made the pain of every corner of his heart. There is still a lot left after the rain. So many memories are left after the past is gone. Mirisnya, like Panji who could not avoid the cold that left the rain, Alena was not fully able to escape the memories that her past created. Mixing the new knitting with the past tangled thread coil, causing a jumble that unconsciously made him choose to finish the tangled thread and ignore the knitting waiting to be resolved.

The banner waits, until Alena finishes with the tangling of her past and returns to the knitting of their story. But, Panji will ignore the possibility where Alena could have chosen to knit the old thread that she has finished tangling. And Panji completely forgot, how terrible the human heart that he could not control completely.

Until the knitting is just lying unresolved, with no firming knots and everything re-degrades into a meaningless plain thread.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Counting four days with now since last Alena saw Panji from a long bench in the greenhouse on the edge of the hall. Also four days after the news with capitalized headlines from the Editorial team became a trending topic every corner of ZHS. Since then Alena no longer met the existence of Panji in the school. It is normal and ordinary. Even Alena had not seen Panji for weeks even though they were in the same school. A transparent banner makes people often forget their presence.

Today Alena again saw the figure of Panji, which made her remember a question with the question 'who?'. The same question rose in Alena's head, both four days ago at the door of the II-level canteen and now at the edge of the grass-green field.

Alena saw it, the field was empty was not visited by any ZHS residents except the two people. The pennant and the new grade IV student he guided around the school a few weeks ago. The only transfer student accepted throughout the history of the establishment of ZHS from many other transfer students who were rejected and eventually entered other schools in this city.

Name's Siena. Siena Arcaya Yusra if Alena is not wrong. Like her arrival, Siena's name was also quite strange to Alena. Just as strange as Panji who openly took the woman four days ago, also as strange as those who now chat under the goal, in the shade of trees from the edge of the field.

The banner sits leaning on the goalpost while Siena is leaning on the other pole. Panji lowered his head to read the book in his hand and Siena interrupted by throwing the grass he had plucked. Siena spoke, chattered ria, laughed and Panji just clenched his nodding mouth and shook his head.

The banner raised its face. Either by chance or what his eyes immediately met the view in a straight line with Alena. Seconds later, Panji returned to his book. Alena looked at the same point.

Siena who saw that asked, a question that Alena could not hear due to the tens of meters distance separating them.

"Who?" The same question Siena asked like the other day. As Panji changed direction at the turn of the corridor, when Siena saw the silhouette of two people hugging, the first time for Siena to find Panji turned his eyes when talking to her.

The banner was solemn with his reading book, but Siena knew exactly that the boy did not focus on the row of letters on the white sheet at all.

"Acts?"

Panji closed the book, snarl. Not a single page was completed by him since then. He looked up, again finding Alena in his straight line of sight. The girl was still there, tens of meters away from him staring at her.

"Who?" Siena repeated the same question, but also got the same silent answer. He was tired of asking and preferred to make sure straight, approaching Alena who was still glued at the end there.

"Yes...."

His hand that was caught by Panji made Siena stop stepping. He stood facing the looking Panji still sitting lesehan in the grass. And at that moment Siena found a soft luster in her sister's pair of dark blue neutrals.

A sister?

A new surprise, right? Siena is the only daughter of Acrhoma, the older sister of Panji. Don't think Panji is an only child. He's number three, the youngest of three brothers. His first brother, 7 years older than him, chose to live alone since he was a teenager and traveled to various parts of the world such as Acrhoma. Name, Panca. Aditya Panca Batara's. The only ones who inherited the name Batara from their father.

Then, for Siena herself, she has lived since childhood in the homeland of Mother, the birthplace of Acrhoma. The first time he came to the country when he was 6 years old and he immediately fell in love with the place. Choose to live from there.

Acrhoma's children inherit their mother's adventurous soul. Only Panji remained in the wooden house on the outskirts of the city as his brothers slowly left. Only the banner was wrapped in the shade of the place as his brothers flapped wings flying around the world they had never encountered before. Only the Panji remained silent, drowning in silence filled with desolation.

Panca and Siena came occasionally to the house where they were born. Seeing their little brother grow up. Previously when Panji was a child Father and Mother always took him on every trip, also met his brothers across. When the teenager Panji began to be reluctant to come, until then he never went again and settled in their small wooden house.

"Me, hungry."

The same word of diversion but there was a pause that Siena had difficulty understanding her point. So after the long bell rang and the afternoon break ended, Siena no longer returned to follow her insight study. After parting with Panji at the end of the hallway, he ended up standing on the edge of an ornamental fish pond with Alena in front of him.

Siena's eyes probed sharply, no less sharply Alena countered. There is a pause of a few minutes until the question is only ended with one word full of questions.

"Who?" They said in unison. It turns out that each question has the same prefix, 'who'. And each of them was also reluctant to answer before getting the answer he wanted. Until in the end the question will never be answered before anyone succumbs to answer the other question first. But the two were at odds, wanting to get their answer right away.

"Alena!"

A few meters away from them Regan waved as she stepped closer. That instant Siena did not need any more answers. His line of questions was answered only by Regan's presence there, and his sister's blank view was tens of meters away from them.

"Why are you here? Not studying?"

Alena did not answer the question, she simply pulled Regan's arm to turn away from there. While Regan just stared confusedly at Siena who he knew as a new student from the IV level, nodded with a friendly smile and then resignedly followed Alena's steps. They turned into the Astronomy building without knowing that in front of it Panji stared blankly and did not leave until the next hours.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Meanwhile, among the low boisterous workers, Panji awoke from his sleep. His eyes stared straight at the ceiling of the room which only looked dark because of the absence of lighting in this room. Sighing for a moment Panji twisted his body into a bow. And what happened next was the same as it had been when he had a bad dream.

This time Panji just let his tears flow without a sound. He enjoyed a sense of calm whenever drops of liquid fell from his eyes. But inevitably the reality where tightness is faithful comes without wanting to go home. The tormented feeling of something he did not know made Panji sometimes think that this was just a hallucination.

In this dream, the boy came again. The boy who was very similar to him, who wore a black crescent-roofed necklace, which he believed was not himself, was always on a whim whenever Panji remembered him. The echoes of longing are timid. The gurgling wounds also adorned him. And Panji seemed to go crazy every second asking 'who?' without anyone kind enough to answer.

In addition, the question has not been answered and new faces appear again. Faces that Panji does not recognize but strangely feel very familiar. There were pieces of memory that he felt were harboring about them. But either the pieces are hidden where. The banner felt something was missing and it was in the form of a memory. There is a Panji forget, and it is a thing that until now haunted until he was trapped in various questions.

Thinking about this is endless. The tears were still dry and the question was not answered.

The chirping of birds out of nowhere makes Panji interested in leaving his uneasy. He got up from the bed with a thin curtain and the view out there was immediately clearly displayed thanks to the transparent walls of his room. It is still a bit dark out there but Panji can clearly see a patch of vineyards that bear fruit. He went out into the backyard through the balcony of his room without any intention to just wash his face remove the tangles of his face first.

"Pagiii Den Panjiiii!!! It's a good fit, deh, adoohh."

Even if Panji becomes blind, he will still be able to easily recognize the owner of the voice. Man who until now made Panji wonder first his life was given on what basis? Sometimes Panji becomes more serious about useless things like this than other more important things.

"Still belekan ajaaa. Wonder!"

"Yes...."

"Yes?"

"Mankind has laughed at Satan. Wonderful."

Geez! Not angry Siena even laughed. Just happy he feels Panji can throw a guyonan so even though it is still minimal expression. At least Siena appreciates his sister's efforts to joke and he hopes that the talent can be further developed in the future. Though in reality Panji did not intend to joke at all, he was serious about what he said.

"The Panca is making progress, I need a report!" Siena chuckled at the results of the recording, just the moment when Panji returned his joke. He shared a video duration of not up to one minute to the contact he named 'Old Jaka' who is none other than Panca. Remember Panca? He is the Eldest whose hobby is wandering and now either has hibernated anywhere.

Old Jaka

|Lil bro~~

|Astoge Na! Don't get dysesatin it's a child. Mommy is just the remaining 1 is a sane collection:((

^^^He's his son mandiri|^^

^^^Satnya self-taught boss:v|^^^

Panji sighed in disgust seeing Siena was already hot-spirited with a cell phone. I don't know what he discussed with Panca there. Panji did not care much and returned to his main goal. Actually it's surprising, Siena could be here so early. Though the apartment that his brother lived in was in the city center which was very far from this area. Little information, Siena does not live in a house with Panji, she prefers to live in an apartment close to the school and is in an environment that suits her taste. Contrary to Panji, Siena was the one who could least stand the silence and was very fond of the crowd.

"Aksa!"

Only then did Panji feel at peace and would put a piece of fresh wine in his mouth, Siena had already returned to pestering. Put the wine immediately and chew in his mouth, Panji then sort the other wine that if it is completely cooked, even though all the grapes evenly level into the cuisine.

"You're with Alena....?" Siena's question is not complete but he understands Panji suda quite understand. It was visible from the boy who nodded in his squatting position picking wine that was directly deposited into his mouth. Siena so follow squatting and picking a seed for him to taste, to be honest he has never eaten wine from this garden because it has only been planted one year ago. While if calculated there have been about three years Siena did not go home at all.

Previously it has been explained that Siena from childhood chose to live in the birthplace of Mother. He only comes here once or twice a year. At first he lived out there he did not come home at all throughout the year because Father, Mother and his brothers often came to see him. However, since Panji entered adolescence, the child so rarely even to never again follow Father and Mother so that Siena who came home to meet her sister. And the last three years Siena did not come home to just meet Panji, he was too busy with his own routine to forget it.

"Why should Alena?" Siena asked seriously now, she chose to sit cross-legged on the ground overgrown with grass tickling the skin.

The pennant showed a grain of wine to Siena's face, "Why should wine?" tanyakanya.

Siena did not understand. A banner that is irritated to talk and drink expression is difficult to understand. But difficult does not mean it can not because a few moments later Siena has understood in which direction Panji directed this conversation.

Why would Alena? Just like why that wine was planted here. Both need no reason. The only thing acting here is instinct and heart. Why should wine? Because Father and Mother love it and want to plant it special because in their view the wine is a special fruit. Why would Alena? Of course, how can Panji avoid if his heart has set its own choices?

As the sun rose from the eastern horizon, its light seemed slick framing Panji's smile that morning. The smile that Siena could read where the bitterness was clearly imprinted there. It was as if he were speaking, how weak a human would be to their heart.

Poor man, who can't even have control over his own feelings.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

The pennant came out faster than the library where the studies he attended were carried out. Ten minutes before the return hour he had taken a step back to class. The state of the class is of course empty because of other students who are still following the current study.

Panji carrying a backpack with pontai steps. He made the wrong decision to be stranded in a boring study of the science of philosophy. Because he could no longer bear to hear the babble of the speaker so he resigned first.

A few meters away reaching the ZHS gate, Panji recalled the sketchbook he had left in the locker. There was a picture he wanted to finish so that with a heavy heart he turned the bow towards a special locker level II. The bell came home long when Panji got in front of his locker. He had to hurry if he did not want to cram with the other disciples.

"the banner? Right Panji, right?"

Actually there are people who come when Panji opens the locker. He didn't care much as long as he didn't bother him. Why did that guy say hello to himself? Why should I mention his name? If this is the Panji it is difficult to pretend not to listen.

"Hm." In the end, the banner is still the banner. Either way he is still a human who somehow very object to take out the vocabulary stored in his brain. Even though the person who greeted him was the friendliest human being and even though that person was even the most respected Student Council Chairman.

"Regan." Regan said introducing herself independently when Panji turned to look at her with his eyebrows raised up. He did not offer a handshake, believing Panji would not return such hospitality.

Panji nodded then switched on his locker. After saving the sketchbook into the backpack, he locked the locker again and then moved from there.

"Oh, yes, are you close to Alena?"

Who doesn't know Regan's famous for my-your accent. Therefore, this lekaki is also very respected, even delinquents have to check their grammar when dealing with it. Regan never blamed the person who spoke disrespectfully to her, but the people who confronted the man would automatically feel disinclined by Regan who was too polite and formal.

"Near?" Panji delayed his steps and turned to face the interlocutor.

Regan is now busy with lockers but her eyes look at Panji, "Yes, you guys were seen together a while ago."

Some time ago, Panji was seen together with Alena and became the lips of the whole school. Regan asked Alena directly, and the girl answered briefly.

'He who?' Regan stood in front of Alena who was sitting in a long chair in the greenhouse. He looked at the Panji standing in the hall not far from them.

'He Panji. The Yudha Bannersara.'

As soon as Alena answered. Not satisfying to ask Regan in mind. But Alena's smile that expands as if shed her curiosity. Never mind, Regan was that bad in front of Alena.

"Alena's like a magnetic field, huh? There are so many who are interested in the vortex."

Panji did not respond further. He only stared for a moment at Regan who spoke while compiling some papers he took from the locker. Then I don't know what conclusion he took in his mind, Panji then turned to go to his original goal of going home.

Realizing Panji left without giving a definitive answer, Regan quits the rush. He stared at the man's back which was getting further away, leaving a question mark bearing a pinch on Regan's head.

The screams of another student going back and forth preparing to go home made Regan question drown. He set himself up, tower his fine expression and then became the Regan that people hoped for. Regan is friendly, kind and fun.

Drama is boring.