Canvas Aksara
SORRY EKSA...

CANVAS 14

[SORRY EKSA.].

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Jordan never had a reason to like someone. He only suddenly felt that the person was different, then automatically his brain deduced it as liking. So, when Siena asked her why she liked the girl, she simply replied by raising her shoulders.

"Seriously, Jo! What makes you like me?"

Shut up for a moment, Jordan replied lightly, "What's okay."

Siena gave up, "It's not good that you like me, it's a waste of time."

Jordan who was playing a game on his phone said, "When I had a crush on Kakel in Junior High, I was heartbroken because he was dating someone else. I came to mind to make an application that can make us know who our soul mate is. I was so depressed at that time. Tired if we like people here and there, uh it turns out he's someone else's soul mate."

Siena who was originally busy stirring her sweet iced tea then turned to look at Jordan who spoke indifferently while playing a game. Whether its hallucination or how, at first glance it captures the bitter meaning in the man's speech.

Their position is now being held at a meatball stall near Siena's apartment. The empty bowl in front of the two people signified that they had just finished enjoying the meal. But, from the beginning they came until now the look of Siena looks more tangled than usual. Kernyitan between his eyebrows did not disappear even though his stomach was bloated. His facial water was murky even though the iced tea he drank was very thirsty.

"Na, it's not about my feelings that make you fussy like this?" This time Jordan put his phone to the table then looked seriously at Siena.

The girl flicked her right hand while the left hand supported her forehead. He was thinking hard about something but never got an answer.

"Lo know, Na? The human being was born not just a brain capital to continue living. We are also equipped with feelings that I think are very negebanin. But, Na, can you imagine if we live without that complicated feeling?"

This second, Siena gasped. Really imagine a human civilization that does not include things called feelings. Wounds yes let wounds, pain is ignored, death stay dead, kill stay kill. Heh! Surely the number of rules is useless.

"Lo make an application that makes the soul mate find it, deh! Don't like me anymore, I'm busy!" Tukas Siena in the end. He grabbed his bag and sauntered away with lethargic steps. The meatballs had already been paid upfront so he did not have to bother thinking about it anymore.

Jordan did not follow. He was only glued for a while until he typed something on his phone.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

|Gue won't like you anymore.

|But if love can, right?

Siena dropped herself onto the sofa as soon as she entered the apartment. With his eyes half closed he typed in a reply for Jordan's message.

|Mamam is in love!🍑

He then left his phone on the floor. He covered his eyes with one arm intending to sleep but instead cried Panji the other day. Siena was confused what else to do with her sister. The pennant won't talk to anyone at home. He acted as if nothing had happened, but Siena knew 'Panji is nothing!'.

Yesterday afternoon Siena intended to talk to her sister again. He had already entered Panji's room, but upon finding Panji crouching on the balcony feeding his cats Siena instantly retreated and closed the door just like that. And the talk that Panji throws at his cats keeps ringing in Siena's ears.

'Yen, I miss Eksa.'

Panji's memory is back. The nightmare is hunting their families again. Siena felt completely deadlocked to understand Panji at this stage. He felt very useless, especially when he accidentally found a reddened mark on Panji's arm this morning. Even just asking, he did not dare.

In that silence Siena felt wet on both of her petals. Then in desperation he spoke to the empty air.

"Sorry Eksa, it's not that easy to recover from a wound about you."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

This afternoon the sky looks orange, but the sky breaks down the tears that wet the earth. The heat of the afternoon evaporated as drops by drops of rain fell slowly. In shahdu shades the three Panji cats lined up near the balcony trellis. One of them was licking his feathers, while the other two were sitting with a gloomy look. The rain made them unable to come down to play in the plantation area down there. And again, the rain made their owners crouch under the covers instead of playing with them as usual.

The creaking of the door opened making the ears of the three little cats upright with vigor. They ran in through the open door and welcomed Panca who had just opened access for them to enter Panji's room.

Initially, Panca intended to contain her sister's pet. But seeing them rubbing at his feet he could not bear it. So he let the cat play as much as before in this Panji room.

Letting the three kittens play Panji's painting equipment, Panca took a place to sit on the edge of the bed near his sister's head that poked out from under the blanket. Panji did close his eyes, but Panca was sure the boy was not fully asleep.

So when he found out the whereabouts of a pair of black-robed necklaces, he began the conversation.

"You remember when the story to your brother was sad not given the gift of the Father when Eksa was loved?"

Panca's question feels full of memories once in Panji's ear. He opened his eyes and found Panca looking down at the two necklaces in his hand.

"If you think about it, you two were funny. You immediately cry apologies to Eksa pas tau it turns out that Dad also has a gift for you, you feel guilty because you are jealous of Eksa. You guys are so romantic that we didn't realize we were watching from the outside. Moreover, the fitting Eksa weaved and ngusapin your tears," Panca story then laughed blandly. He put the necklace he was holding back to its original place. Then turn to Panji who stared blankly earlier.

Panca's respiratory tract is like clogged when he sees Panji smiling thinly full of bitterness. His hands stretched out to rub his sister's head, but instead ended up hanging in the air because the words Panji said hit him hard.

"He's the best brother to me."

One of the Panji cats reached up and walked over the blanket-covered body of Panji. The tiny creature wriggled spoiled near Panji's face and licked the owner's skin surface. Two other cats came up. Unfortunately, they did not have time to play around when Panji came out of the blanket and took them to enter the cage.

After filling the lunchbox of the three adopted children, Panji locked their cage and whispered softly.

"Udah night, tomorrow again play."

While Panca was just glued to his place. Netraya looked at the Brother who was crouching in front of the cat cage watching the three scrambling for food. After rubbing his face rough, Panca went out without saying anything.

Arriving at the door of Panji's room, right after the wooden door he closed Panca just shed. He was crouching with both hands covering his face. While from between his long fingers, flowing a warm clear liquid.

Panca thought she was ready to be a big brother, but it turned out that the burden of the eldest child was too burdensome. He was not able to be a shield for his sisters, even just a stopover he could not. Panca felt like she had failed. As an older brother he could not, to be used as a chatting friend he was considered not to meet the criteria, let alone be a protector for his family, Panca did not meet the eligibility for it.

Even when he was supposed to be a healer for his younger siblings' wounds, Panca immersed himself in the same wounds. He thought he was joking and laughing as long as the wound was successful. But in fact he was wrong. How can he be healed if what he does is not cure?

For years.... For years Panca had foolishly dragged herself on the run nonstop.

'Sorry.... I'm sorry that you guys have to be the younger brothers of these losers.'

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The atmosphere of the middle room of Alena's house was so tense after Alena passed a vase to collide with the rigors of the floor. While in front of him Adimas looked up at him.

"ALLEN!"

"Where did you learn to defy your parents like that?!"

"Why doesn't anyone feel ashamed at all still think of themselves as parents? NO PARENT TREATS THEIR CHILD AS NOTHING MORE THAN A POWER-EXTENDING TOOL!!"

Shouted by his son, Adimas' emotions became more turbulent. His face flushed with anger, just as he raised his hand ready to throw a slap.

"ENOUGH!"

The grandfather who had just been silent had finally intervened. He stared angrily at his only child, for life he had never played a hand in educating his son. And maybe the child chooses violence against his grandson to solve the problem.

While Alena sees her father who without burden intends to throw his hand at her, made in shock. During this time he grew up in the care of Grandma and hard upbringing Grandpa. However, no matter how hard Grandpa was towards him, the old man had never been rude to him at all. And now, it could be his own father....

Alena bit her lips, Grandpa and Adimas sparring was not heard by her. His head was bustling with voices. With a blurry look holding back the cries he looked at Adimas full of hatred.

"Did Papa ever expect my birth into this world? Have you ever been happy for a moment with my presence in your life? Does Papa have no intention of actually being a decent father to Papa's son?"

Grandma embraces Alena to calm her down but Alena brusquely brushes aside. He rubbed the feathers that suddenly spread from his eyes. While Adimas was speechless, and Grandpa chose to sit on the sofa with a cold expression.

"If Papa is so hateful, YOU SHOULDN'T LET ME BE BORN AND LIVE LIKE THIS!!!"

Crushed. Like pieces of a vase she slammed into, Alena shattered into pieces. Her crying was not held back. His chest was too claustrophobic realizing that even Adimas had no intention of denying it in the slightest. Not even a single speck of regret light could be seen from his eyes.

Feeling really poor, Alena squatted with both hands closed her face tightly. Then no matter what else, he nodded hard there.

"It doesn't want me to if Mama dies when I'm born. I never beg for life as it is now. I.." raved Alena was desperate and then lost for words to reveal the rotting wound on her chest. He folded his arms over his knees and buried his face there. In that position Alena hugged herself tightly, whispering to herself to stay fine.

But it turns out that the wound caused by the dagger that was inflicted by his father gaping too wide. Alena has trouble covering up on her own. And the fact that no one would help her made her cry was stupefied with grief.

"I hate Papa.... Hate it! Hate it! Hate it!"

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BRACKET!

Adimas closed the door of his room violently. All the furniture neatly arranged in the corner of the room is the target. In just one movement the objects fell to the floor causing a deafening noise. But it was completely unable to expel the cries of Alena who was ringing in his ears.

"Girl!"

Adimas assistant who was guarding outside with alarm from earlier immediately entered as his name was called. He looked down respectfully awaiting orders from his superiors.

"Exit all my schedule today!"

After receiving Adimas's word, Chris left. At the door, he could finally breathe freely again. Being in one room with Adimas who is in an angry mode makes the oxygen supply thin.

"When can I take a leave of absence...."

In contrast to Chris who lamented his unfortunate fate of being subordinate to Adimas. That person was still desperately trying to hold back the anger within him.

The fact that Alena went down perfectly the curves of his late wife's face made Adimas unable to resist his hatred while lingering at the boy. And Adimas hated to admit that the mother of the child had broken his heart.

Adimas sat on the cold floor. Breath snorted. Then when he found the figure of the Wife that he displayed on the wall of his office made him even more stuck.

"After you made me the happiest man in the world, you destroyed me to become the saddest man on earth" he looked up at his smiling wife's portrait on camera. And Adimas cursed his eyes which suddenly heated up until the clear liquid melted away without him being able to prevent.

"You can go without any guilt to make me like this."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Remind Regan to mark this day on the calendar as her lucky day. He was in a good mood as he went down the stairs with a brochure in his right hand. Even Regan without hesitation smiled at every maid he met and greeted them kindly.

Regan has a definite goal in her stride. He moved towards the reading room where his mother used to spend time in the afternoon. Without any preface, Regan placed the brochure on the table where her mother was reading with a cup of tea.

"I want to take part in a piano contest" she said so smoothly. Before her mother could comment she spoke again, "Mama agrees or not I'll leave anyway. I'm just telling you that I won't hide like a coward anymore."

The butler who was standing behind his mother had been made wary because he knew right the thing Regan had just discussed was taboo for Irine. Evidently from how Irine closed the book violently and then stared intently at his son.

But Regan raised her hand to prevent her mother from speaking, glancing at the watch she spoke lightly, "Ah, I'm almost late. Bye, Ma'am."

"Regan!"

Irine breaks the table and stands up angrily as Regan casually steps away without giving her a chance to talk. While Regan who was getting away from where her mother was, secretly felt relieved. He was finally able to do what he had been thinking, rebelling. He hummed happily leaving his home area. Beyond that towering fence, there were people waiting for Regan with millions of dreams that they would realize.

"Well, Xander, Abis won the lottery, huh?"

Regan had just sat on the front passenger bench in Damian's car as Alec and Alan, who were sitting in the back, looked curiously at her. Regan laughed, not answering her friend's question. He just propped up his chin looking out the window as the car started to run. A satisfied smile at the corner of his lips rose when he remembered the words of the Papa a dozen years ago.

'Running that is also part of growth.'

All day Regan could not stop smiling at the relief that made her chest feel airy. And he had no idea that after his departure Aaron had come to their mother intimidatedly.

"Let Regan do what she wants. I've had enough for this family."

After a few seconds Aeera also appeared while blowing on her new nails she gave black, "Don't let Mama destroy my sister like Mama destroyed her own sister. Regan's ours, Mama don't interfere."

If Regan had heard that, what would he have done? Will he cry bitterly like the times when he weeps every time the Papa comes to save him from the strict rule of the Mother? Regan who thinks that she was alone all this time, turns out to have a brother who loves her so much.

Aaron is desperately doing his best as the head of the family. Aeera sacrificed her teenage years to take care of the family business. Those who desperately sacrificed themselves for the sake of the Little Sister they loved so much. Said every time tired of whack, 'What the hell, at least with this my sister will be fine'.

If Regan knew everything, if only....

But unfortunately he was too busy staring at himself to forget to pay attention around. Regan, who is too dependent on the Papa, is dissolved in grief, will lose for years. Until he forgot that Argus once whispered very soothingly in his ear,

'... Even if you lose your hands and feet, there are still two supports that will help you stay standing as hard as the coral in the open sea.'

Two buffers who were so joyful welcomed the birth of their little sister. Two buffers that will cement Regan's footing challenge the unreadable future.

They're Aaron and Aeera.