Home 7 Descendants
47. Testifying

I walk in a dim light among the darkness, do I not know if I die? or I'm getting caught up in something I don't understand. The road was heavy as if I was walking on suction mud but when I looked down, I saw nothing. There were whispers that I did not understand the language and even I could not see clearly.

I continued to walk between fear and looking back should I go back or trace this hole of the hallway that either leads to where, I heard the happiness of the birth of Santi, heard laughter and jokes, on the other hand there was a very disturbing whisper, making the ears uncomfortable making me fall and close the ears, like the sound of dolby atmos in the cinema which sounds from left to right, all around you. But the words were so noisy that my ears could not digest the meaning, only my left and right ears hurt so much, I could not describe how because the longer, the more fireflies my eyes, the more, the more dizzy but I should not be unconscious here, I could even get lost the further.

I just need to focus on one source of sound, a sound that might take me out of this hallway, but I can't find a sound that I can digest, because all these sounds made my ears bleed, maybe blood because it was like liquid coming out, because it was dark I couldn't make sure it was blood or not. I tried to stand up but this leg was too limp to stand, I crawled around looking for a way out but could not find it. It's like a passageway between forward and backward, but no, suddenly the streets become various directions unfolded, there's no choice, who can think clearly in this situation.

Should I just go back, that's the best way. But when he returned it turned out that the way back was lost like a lost garden, somewhere. I sat there quietly trying again to focus, think good things, think about Mr. Broto's family, my family. Suddenly all the memories seemed to float above my head, would those memories be lost? or am I dying right now? what am I supposed to do? yes, I have to focus, I have to try and not be weak, this is just my shadow, all this is mortal, all this is unreal. I have to get through this, the sounds of creepy laughter that make shudder, suddenly appeared irregular scary faces, I was shocked and shouted, too, can I stand the horror of this? will I weaken?

I can just sit still, try to find what I want to hear, try to stay focused, try to keep my eyes closed to stay focused, try to be okay. Yes, I have to keep thinking positively and spread it all over my body, mind and soul, I can protect myself and will be fine. I have to be sure of myself, I have to be sure and I can, I can get out of here and either end up where my life is, at least I'm trying.

"Amini... How son, are you happy to have a sister? " Sound Mr. Broto's voice asked.

"Amini..release grudge grandma son. "a familiar voice came in suddenly.

"Amini, your sister looks like you. " Sounds the voice again.

"Batara also looks like a big brother, right? " The shrill voice of Batara.

"Amini your duty is increasing, kill your mother as her penance. " A loud voice rang out which made my ears sting even more.

"Amini .. kill.. kill. .. you'll have to pay for it. " A voice so loud is full of vengeance.

Arghhh... The sound of where this is, why are so many voices that I hear. What to pay? why should I pay for it. I'm not Amini... I'm Aca.. I'm Acaaaaaa.... My screams are so loud. The more I screamed and rebelled with all the sounds I heard, the more I drowned in the darkness, accompanied by the sounds of wind and water. Making me rebel more and more with fear, I can't give up, I have to move out of this dark hole.

Where am I supposed to go? while I was haunted by guilt and resentment that so disturbed the soul, how Asmirah put up with all this, how can she try to stay sane in a situation of anger and guilt for murder, he said, how he remained calm as if nothing had happened when he killed, the key witness was long dead, there was no evidence, there was no truth, then the wandering spirits demanded revenge, but why should I be swallowed up in this past life? wh why?

For a long time I was getting crazy, sane and trying to be sane was not there, I was desperate, I just stayed in this darkness, there was no light, there was no light, there were only voices that hurt my eardrum. Where'sme? please please save me. I can't be in here, I want to get out. Shouted me at this noisy void. Once again I shouted with a cry of hope in despair.

Suddenly I remembered all my family, my friends, everything. Is this memory a parting form because I'm going to die? or am I locked up in this world as a revenge claimant. Why take me? pointless. All of them in the real world are dead, let the new generation take care of their living world, why the dead take care of the living. Mr. Broto and Asmirah are long dead, why until the end of their lives they are not honest, and they are dead whether they can not communicate with the Diajeng maam and tell the truth?

It may not be possible, because even though they die they remain in the human realm, why they do not go in peace, because they still exist in the world of the living. I was very angry and upset with this ambiguous reality. What exactly was I brought here for and why didn't they go quietly?

All my questions I can't answer, all I don't have answers to. The past life is too complicated to unfold one by one. I am also someone else and why I entered into this vicious family circle, I said in anger making the heart beat faster, no more fear, no more fear, all there is is is a tremendous amount of anger and rage challenging and questioning what I am here for.

I shouted that I was Aca, I am Aca, repeatedly I cried out in my tears while trying to stand up and find a way out, suddenly it was as if I saw a little light and suddenly my trembling hand was pulling and grasping, slowly opening my eyes, I found Toby staring worriedly with a very strong hand and crying and smiling when he saw me open my eyes.