Husband's Regret: I'm Not a Little Child
I'm an adult.

"Will he pick me up today? Does he know it's time for me to go to town? I don't want to stay here? I miss Buna..I miss Dhek Iya and Dhek Iyu? How are Oma and Grandma? I want to go home?"

The end has arrived, also the day of the submission of graduation certificates and the pickup of students. Laughter, also interspersed with crying haru, a sign of gratitude from parents who welcomed their daughter's son back to his home, decorated the courtyard of the Bamboo Shade boarding school that afternoon. 

The warm embrace of a mother and father melted the mounting longing for their sons and daughters continued.

They were all happy, hoping that every chapter of knowledge from the daughter's son that they got in that place, would soon be applied to their lives ahead. Their knowledge becomes a guide to achieving happiness in the world and the hereafter.

It is time for the Santri to leave. Departing to a long journey in life, bringing the knowledge they raked, to explore a new world, where the phase has changed, from adolescence to adulthood. 

No exception, for girls with round eyes on the edge of the tent. Three years already, Nila spent in a multi-storey building and lined up neatly with a large mosque in front of him.

This was his waiting day, the end of the day he missed, it was time. Nila will leave the cottage, return to her hometown. Gathered warmly with her brother and sister, as well as a missed husband. 

In addition, he will also soon play his role as a whole wife like his wife three years ago.

Unfortunately if Nila's friends smile, achieve a lot of love from their families, Nila's heart is troubled expectantly.

Nila's heart was quiet in the crowd. All the happy images of Nila that last night filled the air, disappeared. Now Nila could only enjoy that wishful thinking from seeing her fellow students, but not her.

Nila stood up, looking at the end of the road and the big house in the big complex, Nila's heart continued to wrangle with questions, why the gate of the cottage door remained the same.

Why the number, as well as the view of the shape of the car parked in the yard of the dhalem house that he occupied never increased and changed.

From the morning was still empty, Nila's gaze could not be separated from every vehicle that came, waiting for a figure who was missed came, Nila, opening the car slowly comes to sit on a row of benches parents and santri family who are being provided. Whether it was her parents or her husband.

Yet it seemed, Nila could only swallow the pain of all that hope. Slowly the crowd began to shrink, one by one the friends left him, welcomed the warm arms of their families and then left. Laughter and smiles, his old man became a sweet memory that imprinted on Nila's memory, as a sign of separation.  

“Come, Ning Nila.. We go home first, yes!” pamit Bu Romlah, Aisha's mother Nila's roommate. 

“Iya... Ma'am. Be careful on the road ya!” nila replied as Aisyah and her parents approached Nila and said goodbye. 

“ Anyway, we have to tell each other the news. Where will college be? We're meeting. I will miss you so much, said Aisyah holding Nila's arm. 

Nila also smiled. "Dad, God willing!"

Aisha and her family, then walked away from Nila. 

Now Nila is alone, being the last third-grade student who still stands in the final event tent with the committee's younger siblings. Although slowly disappearing, sayup-sayup Nila heard the conversation Aisyah and Miss Romlah, talking about it. 

“Kok Ning Nila alone not picked up by her parents?” 

“Mother..Mother forgot? Kan Nila was Abah Kyai, yes Nila returned home “Dhalem same Ummi Nyai 

“Oh yes... but I don't see Gusah, whose husband is Ning Nila?” 

..........

Nila gulped her saliva trying to close her eyes, asking her ears not to hear the continuation of her best friend's answer. It was a question that kept on tearing his heart apart.

Nila also dragged her heavy legs, Nila stepped back into the pesantren complex.

“Baba..., Buna... I want to pick up you guys?” nila's scream held back a cry while accelerating her pace.

Nila walked down dodging the gazes of the underclassmen who greeted her kindly and respectfully. 

Nila Gunawijaya, is a Princess from the Gunawijaya family, a big businessman in the country.

He has indeed become a daughter-in-law of Kyai where he drew his knowledge, since the beginning entered into santri. Nila was married to Gus from the place of the cottage was over because of an arranged marriage, both Nila's parents and the great teacher Nila. 

Gus who married Nila, named Rendi Akbar Maulana. He is a handsome, highly educated son. Unfortunately, Rendi did not want to continue the struggle of his father to serve in the pesantran. He chose to travel alone in another city and worked as a Lecturer at a major university in the capital. 

Only, three years Nila had become a wife, three years also she lived in the pesantren, the embatan Wife of Gus Rendi was only limited to titles and honorifics.

Don't meet her husband and make out. Rendi never once visited Nila, took the time to meet Nila was not or ask Nila to go home Ndalem when he came also did not.

Nila became a foster wife who was never taken, Nila remained a teenager and santri madrasah aliyah in general. Living in one of the boarding houses, taking every activity of the cottage, receiving knowledge, testing also play with his friends.  

“Ning Nila..?” greet one of Nila's younger siblings who was cleaning up the rest of the show. Ning is the embedding of the designation of kyai children or families in the pesantren.

Nila had to stop and look. 

“Daddy nduk, what is it?” tanya Nila faltered holding back the cry. 

“Tadi Ummi Nyai nyariin, Ning Nila..,” said Nila's younger sister. 

“Oh yes.?” answer Nila. 

“Ummi Nyai is heading to Ning Nila's room,” said the underclassman again. 

“Good. Maturnuwun yes..” replied Nila briefly thank you.

Nila also sped up her steps hearing the mother-in-law looking for her. 

It turned out that it was true that in a room that was deserted because the residents had packed up and left, the great veiled woman, who had the highest power in the hut and was respected by all the sisters, seemed to be sitting waiting.

“Assalamu'alaikum's chat. Ummi...,” greet Nila to her mother-in-law. 

“Waalikum greetings, son,” replied Ummi smilingly welcoming Nila.

Nila came forward, walked down, grabbed Ummi's hand and kissed him.

“Ummi was greeting guests, some parents santri right friend Abah, eh Ummi want to introduce you, you are not there, where are you?" tanya Ummi is soft and full of warmth. 

Still with a lowered face, Nila nodded with a sweet smile. 

“Sorry, Ummi, was Nila ahead for a while!” answer Nila. 

“Oh yes already! Come home! Here deserted.” said Ummi invites Nila back to the house ndalem.  

“Enggih, Ummi!” answer Nila. 

Ndalem House is a designation, for the house owned by Kyai pesantren cottage owner. 

Nila also submissively followed her mother-in-law. It was indeed a great thing for Nila. Even the one who wanted Nila and Rendi's wedding was Ummi. 

Because Nila is the daughter-in-law of Abah Kyai, the sisters of the class who served pickets at the house ndalem glorified Nila as the family of his teacher. They, too, helped Nila pack and carry Nila's goods. 

If, Nila's friends leave the cottage picked up by her family and drive to her distant hometown, Nila is just on foot, crossing the fence and the road.

Nila went into Ummi's house, rather entering the large room of the man she said was her husband.

“Rest, Nduk.., Ummi has guests. You're tired, right?” said Ummi again when he arrived at Rendi's room. 

“Enggih, Ummi,” replied Nila. 

Ummi then smiled patting Nila on the shoulder and closed Nila's room. 

As much as Ummi, Nila was alone. Although Ummi is good, but he is a father-in-law and teacher. There is a limit of courtesy that Nila guards. Nila still felt awkward and scared to her in-laws. Nila also did not dare to indulge or hug Ummi miss.

Nila was silent in the cold room. Nila's gaze fell on the one thing in front of her. On the wall, a photo of him and a handsome man who said ijab qobul over him 3 years ago is tacked on big.

Nila looked at him fixedly. A moment later, in that cold and quiet room, Nila's tears were dripping down. 

“Where are you Mas? Why don't you pick me up too? I'm your wife, right? Was I a child in front of you so you wouldn't look at me?” 

“I'm an adult now? I'm not a kid anymore?”