Husband's Regret: I'm Not a Little Child
Caught a Smile

“Udhe Anunn....,” said Zainab in a clear and cute voice pulling Nila's blanket.

“Hmm..,” Nila who is still asleep squirms for a moment.

“Anuun..dhee,” said Zainab again developed a smile and showed one of her teeth that began to grow.

“Zainab,” peekik Nila was surprised to know that the baby who a few months ago learned to walk was sitting next to her, Nila also immediately rubbed her eyes and revealed the blanket. “Hi are you here? Masya Alloh, ponakan budhe is already big, Umm.. want not toel your cheeks, thank you, have woken Budhe, sinih” said Nila immediately put on her sweet smile spread her arms hugging Zainab.

While hugging, Nila glanced at the walk in closet, Rendi seemed to walk to the closet about to pick up clothes.

Yes apparently, Zainab came in with Rendi. It seems like Rendi also asked Zainab to wake Nila, but why not Rendi herself. Very clever Zainab wants to be told.

“Udhe anun! Anun!” said Zainab again smartly without fear, even though it has been almost three months not to meet Nila.

“Yes, just yeah? Oh yea. Budhe hasn't prayed dawn yet, Zainab wait here huh! Don't go anywhere! Budhe pray first,” said Nila glanced at the clock apparently already at 05.30. Nila was really bad luck.

Zainab nodded with her sweet face. Although Nila is still beautiful, Aisha teaches her Son to call Nila budhe. Even tell me his name is Budhe. Zainab is just Nila.

"Smart kid!" nila said smiling.

Nila hurriedly got up and went down to the bathroom.

“Astaghfirulloh, I'm sorry, why didn't I wake up Nila?” tanya Nila to Rendi while taking ablution cross paths with Rendi.

Nila tried to talk to Rendi.

Unfortunately notya replied, Rendi instead went into the bathroom and closed the door ignoring Nila.

Of course Nila was stunned, someone stabbed her chest until it hurt, very much wanted Nila to knock on the door and ask why Rendi was so, but the dawn was at the end of time, Zainab also appears to play alone on the Nila Mattress. Nila should immediately pray.

Luckily the dawn was only two rakaats, it didn't take long.

Nila finished praying then approached Zainab who was jumping up and down random rattling pillows and bolsters in Rendi's room. Zainab is strong enough to be the antidote for Nila's heartache.

“Ponakan Udhe beautiful, Udhe kangen..., Budhe hugged ya.... mmwah,” pekik Nila instantly caught Zainab in Nila's arms and kissed her cheek.

Yes, when the baby, Zainab was often playing with Nila, when Umma Zainab, Ustadzah Aisyah taught at the dormitory of Nila, also when Nila returned to Abah's house.

Zainab is also a sweet child and very rarely cries, even against the new person quickly familiar.

Zainab who was held tightly moved her nervous body slumped to escape and looked at Nila. Unfortunately Zainab's gaze was different.

“Ata Udhe Atit?” chirp Zainab with innocence.

“Hoh?” pekik Nila did not go back.

Zainab's tiny hands were stretched out honestly touching Nila's face on the cheeks near her face.

“Inyi atit?” zainab asked again, and just then the bathroom door opened.

Asked like that by the baby, Nila gulped her saliva jerked, Nila did not hurt but it did feel so swollen. His eyes suddenly narrowed and heavy. At first, Nila thought it was because of bad luck.

Nila also swallowed her saliva smiled bitterly to Zainab and participated in checking her eyelids, it turned out that Nila's eyes were swollen.

Yes, last night as soon as Rendi came out of the room, Nila tried to close her eyes but could not. His heart was hurting on its own, got the treatment Rendi suddenly ketus even left the room.

Nila felt guilty, but Nila was also really scared and nervous. The marriage that Nila had longed for before, with the mature Rendi, Rendi would understand all of Nila's wishes.

Nila longs to get genuine affection from the husband, can be spoiled, both, deepalk understand each other without any demands. Nila thought Rendi would quickly understand what Nila was feeling.

Nila wants, Nila wants to give Rendi the right as husband, but Nila longs to do it with a ready heart, without a shadow of fear, but, with an atmosphere that makes him happy without a sense of misrepresentation and pressure on anyone.

Moreover, even though the status of the wife is displayed within 3 years, but, Nila's close and intense communication is only a few days now. Before there was no courtship no closeness. Everything still feels awkward.

Nila wants it, everything goes according to his rhythm, there is a step. To him what he met this afternoon really made him flinch. Nila still wants to enjoy a touch of affection like hugging each other, building trust. Not hustling.

But it turns out not so with Fitrah an adult man, who when close to attractive women like him, demands him vent his desires.

"Atit huh?" asked Zainab again with cheriwis again poking Nila's swollen eyes.

"No, budhe's not sick!" replied Nila slightly glancing at Rendi.

Rendi looks like he's buttoning a shirt.

"Budhe is not sick, budhe's eyes are swollen from a lot of sleep. Until bad luck, until builtin Zainab. So here's. Zainab if you sleep, don't be bad!" said Nila a little hard hoping Rendi heard and cared.

Unfortunately, Rendi did not comment at all even turned her head no, I do not hear or not. But the distance is close should have heard.

"Hihihi amulet..," Zainab instead smiles at her smile because Nila's eyes are funny because they become big and cover her eyeballs. Zainab even tapped Nila's eyes at will.

"Don't squeeze, it'll hurt!" nila caught Zainab's tiny hand that moved at will.

"Oh yeah. Zainab has not washed her face. Let's see the sunrise yuk. Yuk out yuk!" take Nila later.

The little Zainab turned to Nila nodding.

"But rapihin used to be the pillow!" said Nila tidied up her bed again. Zainab jumped on the bed.

"Yuk down yuk, it's not in bed anymore!" take Nila to Zainab out of the room.

Zainab nodded and asked Nila to come down.

"Zaynab!" but suddenly they were both shocked by Rendi's voice.

"Why Mas?" ask Nila.

"Down Zainab. Let's be with me!" said Rendi coldly.

"Why would it be like Nila? Nila's coming down too!" ask Nila again.

Notya answered Rendi who had neatly raised her hand that there was an expensive watch and saw it.

"30 minutes from now should be ready. I'll wait in the car!" said Rendi again.

"Glegs!" Nila also swallowed her saliva confused. Why did Rendi return to show her stiff side.

"Mas but, right but kul..," asked Nila stammered still not understanding Rendi's intentions. Nila wanted to get angry and asked but saw that there was Zainab.

"The function of the phone is for communication and information updates. Not just a grip without benefits!" said Random Rendi cutting Nila, not Nila know what it means.

"What do you mean?" ask Nila.

"Come Zainab. Same Mr. Dhe. Budhe stinks, let's take a shower!" notya answered Rendi instead reached out asking Zainab to move to her carrier.

"Huh?" Nila could really only frown holding her increasingly uncomfortable heart, sculpting standing at the edge of the room watching Rendi come out carrying Zainab.

The cold rendition towards Nila suddenly looked so friendly, carrying Zainab. While walking Rendi while giving Zainab a kiss also kissed the cheeks of the kingpin Zainab. Rendi deserves to be a father.

Nila was stunned. "Is my mistake so fatal? Is he still angry? Is he very disappointed? Why is it so hard to understand what I mean? Am I not worthy of being with him?" nila felt guilty and overthinking

But then, Nila thought about the word Rendi.

"What does he mean I asked him to check his phone? Is he wa me?" muttered Nila then immediately looked for her phone.

Nila checks whastap group. It turns out that in the class group Rendi changed the schedule. Asking for other lecturers' hours to fill Rendi, and Rendi's hours in the contents of other lecturers, it is also time to be advanced and pushed back.

"Ish... really mean? Why did he suddenly change his schedule so early?" muttered Nila annoyed.

Nila does not know, for her sake, Rendi like that, even sacrificing other students who are afraid of Rendi become confused, because there is a pre test. But for some who have not done the actual lecturer tasks so happy because the hours collected it backtracked.

Tau his college hours advanced Nila immediately took a shower. Especially 30 minutes. And when Nila dress up, Nila's eyes are swollen, very visible, Nila's eyelids bulging, like allergies. Especially because of the white skin.

"Hahh... How is this? Why are my eyes so moist? Ah, ck," he lamented in confusion and regret.

"Make Up?" came out with Nila's idea to give her make up.

Unfortunately when Nila checked her bag, Nila's complete makeup was not carried, the presence of glasses. Yes Nila also chose to grab glasses to cover it.

Below, his brothers and friends were busy cleaning up and decorating the shipping for the Nila family. Nila's heart was made even more sliced. Other people prepare for the show he and Rendi. They even fight.

When Nila went down the stairs, everyone turned to Nila, Nila was like a princess who was waiting. Nila is very embarrassed, first she misfortune, both her eyes are swollen so Nila continues to look down not confident.

Rendi himself is not visible from his nose, even though Zainab is playing with Nila's friends.

"Would you like to go, Ning?" ask Aisyah.

"Yes, Brother!" answer Nila.

"Hhh... Very fond of. We go to the streets. Ntar. Should follow!" chirp Fatma.

"Hush.. don't! Wedding can't play!" sahut In-Law Fatma.

"But Nila has become an old wife just a formality! Prohibition does not apply!" sahut Aisyah again.

"No, go to college!"

Nila's family even fussed by themselves, while Nila just looked down grinning. Whether they want to go where, but their destination leaves early in addition to being ready, they want to go the road.

"Breakfast first, there is a mature coke, yuk Ummi befriended," said Umi suddenly interjected, approached Nila and held her hand.

It seems Umi knows Nila is uncomfortable, even apparently Ummi noticed Nila's eyes.

"Yes...Ummi..," answered Nila a little.

The one in the storm was silent, because the value was gone.

Nila follows Ummi into the dining room together, not knowing where Rendi is, only a male voice is heard on the front porch.

In the kitchen, Bu Siti and friends Nila seem to be still busy, it seems there is still an immature but on the table there is already a plate of fried chicken.

Although a little hesitant because Ummi looks like he is watching and waiting for Nila, Nila also took her food quickly, devouring it also quickly, very uncomfortable.

"Did you guys fight?" chirp Ummi arrived as the rice on Nila's plate was almost gone.

"Huh?" pekik Nila was shocked almost choking.

"Drink first!" Ummi. Nila drank it too.

"You've been crying, haven't you? Akbar also slept outside last night," said Ummi lirih.

Nila also looked down embarrassed, and put the glass after, gulping water in front of her.

"Ummi is sorry, yes" Ummi said again.

"Why is Ummi apologizing? We're okay Ummi!" replied Nila quickly felt uncomfortable covering up her problem.

"May Ummi speak? And Ummi asked not to cut Ummi apart from answering Ummi's question?" tanya Ummi is now serious.

Nila swallowed her saliva slightly stunned, but her body reflexively nodded.

"First, Ummi as Akbar's mother, Ummi wants to apologize, for all Akbar's fault and also Ummi's fault! Do you want to forgive?" Ummi.

"Yes. But Ummi is not wrong, Ummi.., Ummi does not need to apologize," replied Nila.

Ummi smiled shaking his head.

"Ummi, you know, you're still very young. Your marriage was, like, forced. You sacrificed for your brother. Ummi also half forced Akbar to want to continue the matchmaking. Ummi, I'm sorry!" Ummi

"Nila dear to Ummi, Ummi is not wrong," replied Nila.

Ummi smiled again.

"Ummi knows you are different from your brother, that's why, Ummi is also very fond of you. But son, Ummi's really sorry. You are young, your future is long. You can have a good future. Your family is too. Yesterday maybe we all still carried away with ambition.

Really, Ummi has no regrets about ever being your mother. Ummi will respect your choice. There's still one more day, not to go wrong. Are you sure and determined to continue this marriage?" ask Ummi slowly.

"Glegs!" Nila immediately opened her eyes wide, shocked at Ummi's question. Why did Ummi ask that? And here, Nila even sick asked like that.

"Why did Ummi ask this?" answer Nila.

"Ummi dear to you. Ummi respect your family. Ummi forced Akbar to accept this marriage. Because your family seems to be happy with your marriage. But if there is still a wedge. We respect that a lot. Moreover, you are still young. Ummi won't stand in your way just because of my and my son's wishes! Pumpung has not yet entered KUA, and the business is difficult. Ummi did not want to take a wrong step," said Ummi was very feeling and offended by Baba the other day.

Nila stuttered a little, but precisely the speech of Ummi made Nila moved.

"Please look at Ummi. Nila love Mas Rendi!" answer Nila quickly.

Ummi smiled at him

"You're willing to sacrifice your youth? Rendi is not a wealthy businessman or young executive. He's like that. There are more men out there than him. You are also still very young, you can reach a world that is so beautiful as you like, sure you still want to build a household?" ask Ummy again.

"Gloh Insha, Nila ridzo Ummi!" nila replied slightly shaking.

"Alhamdulillah if that is so. Ummi was happy and relieved to hear it. You still choose to keep your home. Solekhah, yes Nduk!" ummi praised Nila.

"Aamiin, Ummi," replied Nila blushed.

"But listen to Ummi! Now Ummi wants to talk as your teacher, because you studied at Bamboo Shade with us! Still want to hear Ummi?" utama Ummi then clasped Nila's hand.

Nila also listened. "Of course, I want to!"

"Bible, and also books, we can read, some can be memorized. It takes struggle also to be able to understand and reap the fruits. But. practicing it requires more struggle, not easy. Not Easy!" ummi stressed.

"Even until almost 35 years Ummi married, Ummi himself also continued to learn. You understand what Ummi means?" ask Ummi.

Nila shook her head because she wanted to be explained.

"Ummi is sure you have hatam many books about marriage while in the cottage with Asatidz. But its application is difficult, even trivial things. Ummi think you are too? Ummi's words are right?"

"He.iya Ummi!" replied Nila grinning in shame.

"You know why?" ask Ummy again.

Nila shook her head again.

"Married it, the longest worship, even perfecting half our religion. What is haram to be halal, how blessed and rewarded, is in the household that we can get. That is why syaiton does not want to stay silent on married people. There will be many trials, ranging from the lightest to the heavy. Because for him to dissolve a marriage that preaches a sacred intention, a worship for God, that's a feat for the devil!"

"That's yeah? Ummmi!"

"Yes. Quarrels and squabbles. It will keep the devil working on every household! It even started from a trivial matter," Ummi continued to tell.

Nila just swallowed her saliva down.

"Tomorrow to finish Ummi show home. You will live alone with Akbar. Ummi knows, you've been married a long time, but you've been together only a short time. You don't know each other yet. There will be a lot of dispute.

Ummi give me a few tips. The man, his ego is very high, the key, wants to be appreciated. Make him feel appreciated.

Ummi doesn't know what your problem is. But.... Ummi hope, you lose not with syaithon. Don't lose to the ego. Moreover, there are outsiders who enter your household. Nay! If you are married, you must be strong!" said Ummi staring at Nila sharply.

Nila is still listening.

"Indeed, divorce is allowed. But it was hated by all. Ummi wants you to learn, put it down! Defeat each other's egos. Remember...what purpose did you get married for? Whether facing small and big problems, choose the exit, which one brings you closer to your goal, Ridzo Alloh! Which one should make the Alloh ridzo, that's what you take! Do you understand what Ummi means?" ask Ummi.

Nila nodded, although in her heart still blurred where Ummi shot.

"Either who is wrong, do not fight over right, do not scramble to be understood. But fight patiently, admit wrong and scramble to apologize. Suppose we are fighting over the goodness and ridho of Allah as well. So lightly. Our goal is ridzo Alloh, not to be the truest!

Not Ummi defended akbar and told you to apologize and give up, no. Ummi also said this to Akbar. Ummi was rebuked. Ummi also always look forward to all Ummi children, to all Ummi students as well. Our goal is to find Ridzo Alloh. In doing anything, I thought. If I were like this, Alloh ridzo wouldn't? Let's be safe, let's be the ones we fear. If the goal is Allh, insya Allh any airy heart faced. Alloh will also love rohman and his womb to us. So. Understood?" ask Ummi.

Nila nodded with a smile now understand.

"Ehm.." suddenly deheman sounded from the door.

Ummi and Nila turned their heads, the fragrance of Rendi perfume was smelled in Nila's senses. Yes Rendi is neatly carrying a side bag.

I don't know why suddenly Nila so pounding his heart.

"Working hours usually get stuck. It's 06:15. Let's go!" bring Rendi stiff.

Ummi just smiled. Nila nodded awkwardly to Ummi.

"Nila, first lecture Ummi," said Nila Lirih asking Ummi's hand to kiss

Randy did the same. Then Nila said goodbye to the others even though Rendi did not look at her younger siblings and friends Nila.

They both got into the car. For some reason, Nila felt very nervous to face Rendi, if Rendi was in silent mode.

But Ummi's words continued to ring. Yes, Nila knew Nila had to apologize first, but why was the atmosphere so gripping like this. Rendi looked straight ahead and his jaw looked upright hardened, handsome anyway, but scary too.

And true said Ummi, despite knowing the theory, know what to do, very heavy moving, even on the lips that are not boned.

Ummi said Rendi had also been advised, but why Rendi was also silent. What this is Ummi saying do not lose with Ego.

The two of them were caught in silence all the way. It is hard to defeat ego. Until they do not feel they have entered the campus parking lot.

Rendi was still silent, even opening the door of each car. Really, it turned out to be very tight on Nila's chest.

Nila kept her heart up. Her father said, Maratusholihah is what makes her husband smile. Nila has to do that.

"Mas!" call Nila with a heavy voice expelling the tightness in the chest.

The joint stopped from its jaws. Can't say much, no matter what the theme looks like or not.

Nila immediately ran over and hugged Rendi from behind tightly.

"Glegs!" Rendi was speechless swallowing her saliva, instantly, a smile was painted on her face.