Marry The Heir
Don't always feel okay

The POV

I still continued to wipe away my tears that were incessantly dripping on the way to a place that did not know where it was headed. Tina and the taxi drivers were busy arguing over the speedy direction of the location Nina was sending while I sat in the back, thinking to myself about what was happening today.

My mind was still very deadlocked as I recalled the two people near me being furious because I took a unilateral decision without thinking about it any further.

I was wrong, yes I was wrong.

I realized rightly my mistake of taking careless steps when facing a problem. Thinking small of a problem turned out I could not do in the business world. More than that I was in the position of taking things for granted for the people around me. Forgetting to involve the people who have been fighting with me from nothing and supporting me under any circumstances.

Stupid, yes I am stupid. I have people who care about me but I ignore them, assume they are not important in my decision making until then they actually leave and are disappointed in what I do, now I'm totally alone. I regret.

Oh, my God, I still want to cry, cry hard. I don't want to be alone like this, I feel like I'm being left behind. And Naka, I want to hug her, I miss the medicine that always wipes away all my tiredness and sadness. But he also left without even having time to give any news. What's up with today? Why did everyone leave me?

I don't know exactly where this is. All I saw was a toll gate that we passed through and into a crowded street. Never mind, I don't care where Tina takes me. With him not leaving me at least there's still one person who still cares about me.

I leaned my body against the seat back, then I sighed deeply to reduce the tightness in my chest. My head was so dizzy because I kept crying all day.

I saw the light of the car lights that signal each other over there and a glimpse of my swollen face and I don't know what it looks like.

Naka, I'm going to meet Naka. There's no way I'm a mess like this. What if he asks me why? Can't it be if I said I had a fight with her papa? Come on, Disa, Naka is still too small to understand this kind of thing.

I finally took my phone out of my pocket. Damnit damnit! Batteries exhausted. Aharghhh!!! Why did I forget to charge my own phone? Why am I being like this? The amount of tension today left me completely unfocused on what was around me.

I felt the car stop in a parking lot and I started to notice my surroundings. Wait, I know this place.

“Na, why are we here?” the Ancol exclusive parking lot is where we are currently.

“I-iya young lady, her GPS is heading this way. Maybe the little young master is inside and is playing.” Bright Tina. Why is he flirting, I'm just asking.

I saw my watch at half 8. “We're down.” Take me in a hurry. Tina's right, maybe Naka is here.

Setting my foot again in a large amusement park in Jakarta reminds me of my work a few years ago. In this place I used to scavenge for windfall every weekend or during school holidays.

I immediately smelled the musty smell of the clown winnie the pooh costume I used to wear. His sultry feeling immediately felt, making me feel uncomfortable then I wiped my hand to end my racial hallucinations.

“Here miss.” Tina showed me the direction. He walked first in front of me while watching his phone screen.

While I am, I prefer to pay attention to the warm atmosphere around me with the lights that are brightly lit. People passing by held hands with their loved ones and of course the sound of laughter that for a moment can make me not feel empty. I can still smile at everything.

It is not wrong that Ancol is called a dream garden, because for a while I could indeed dream of laughing happily like them without remembering the burden and sadness that I am currently damning.

We had walked quite a distance, passed the rides of the game and Tina was still walking in front of me until suddenly her steps came to a halt.

“Why na?” I noticed Tina pressing the power button of her phone but it stopped.

“My phone is off miss, may run out of battery.” His face looks upset.

Oh, my God, what else is this?

I noticed the situation around me, we are already in the area to the beach and Naka, it can't be here right? Then if I have to look for it, where do I look for it, this place is too wide.

“If everything does not go according to plan, maybe we should be the ones out of the plan and the streets.” Damar's words on his vlog are like inspiring me.

I don't know where to look for Naka so I finally decided to take a little walk, I hope this can lower my tension and clear my head. I believe that mom and dad will bring Naka home and we can meet at home. At the very least, I can make my feelings a little better before meeting Naka.

“Where are you going miss?” Tina looks surprised to see me walking down the bridge to the beach.

“I want to take a walk na.” sahutku, once then clutched my own body that creeps cold because of the night wind that blows hard.

“Good miss.” He didn't protest, probably because he realized I needed time like this.

We walked in tandem, Tina was right behind me and I could see her reflection. For a while like this, I didn't want her to notice my swollen face from crying so much.

Passing the bridge I used to cross, took me somewhere. The place I used to go when I was sad. And somehow this time was the same, I came at a time when my feelings were uncertain. Like this place was indeed reserved to make me take a breath for a moment from the weight of the burden on my mind.

From a distance, I see the beach I came to is not as lonely as before. There are several tents installed not far from the beach. There was also a bonfire burning in the middle. The wooden torch stood firm but had not yet been lit. I saw the shadow of the people in the darkness, it seemed like a family was spending time together there.

I chose to turn left, approaching the bench I used to sit on.

“Haaaahhhh..” I can breathe a sigh of relief as I stand beside that bench. Staring far into the ocean with the moon above it makes the waves like trying to reach the bright light up there.

The little waves rolled into each other then broke at my feet. I took off my sandals, letting my feet feel the fine grains of sand.  For a moment like this, I felt a sense of freedom from guilt that I was trying to forget for a while.

*****

“You often come here miss?” tanya Tina behind Disa. His eyes were initially closed as he felt the smell of the beach breeze caressing his face, then opened.

“Yes, several times. It's a convenient place for healing.” Isa without looking.

“You need healing from what miss?” the next question was not Tina's voice but that of a man.

Disa recognized the voice as her husband's. Suddenly his tears came back, he missed Kean a lot.

*****