Missing From Bian
Blind Love

Tonight I feel like my chest is tight. Even though I tried to close my eyes, I still couldn't. My tears are dripping, I feel lonely and need a friend to tell a story.

In less than a year, a lot has happened in the course of my life. There are so many trials that provoke my emotions. Only one year... A year I feel is long.

I love Dion, I can't lie to that. I was in a relationship with Dion without coercion, as hard and as rough as Dion was, I was in that relationship. Even so, Dion still placed me as the main periority, and evidently while walking with me, his parents saw the change in Dion's attitude from before.

There was a commotion no matter how, Dion always won me over. He was able to put his ego aside for fear of losing me. The thing I don't like is that Dion blasts at me without looking at the situation, without thinking about others around me, even if I fight, he will lose.

I then decided to release Dion with various considerations and events. His results? My father is now lying helpless. It's not that I don't regret it, and it hurts a lot when mom says that dad's condition is not being denied because of me.

If Dion could be patient, if Dion hadn't cursed me. If Dion could talk better, I might be currently preparing for my marriage with her.

Nando's...

I was bought by Nando's gentleness. Nando has his own way of treating me. A masculine man who is authoritative, charismatic, who is actually hard, but can bandage him with wisdom.

I was treated like a princess by her. And it made me fall in love more deeply.. More in every day. If I used to date every day I would feel like riding a roller coaster.. Different from Nando. We hardly ever fight for attitude, treatment, or words. He can make me miss his gaze, his words, and his touch.

Nando's....

It's not that I'm blindly in love, especially with what we've done, it's really not me. But once I trusted Nando's love he kept showing me, I also felt afraid of losing Nando.

I gave it all up to Nando. Even though I know the risks are in sight. But there is not the slightest bit of regret or blame. Because I do it without coercion. I love her purely, not because of her possessions, who Nando is.. I'm not willing to lose it all.

But what's really something to me, is Nando's package. Pack her face, attitude, and patience.

Every day, I who almost every moment could meet her, could feel an overwhelming longing. Missing to meet, talk, joke, and kiss her. Nando's hug feels like an opium to me. Nando who looked at me with his shady eyes, for me described the same contents of his heart as mine.

Nando's attention, I don't know, because of the age factor, Nando is more mature in dealing with problems, Nando knows better how to treat me, Nando, and there's a sense of appreciation for him for me and Nando to be more conciliatory when debating.

When my love is like this, when me and Nando find no reason to part, should I leave her? Moreover, he's struggling there, and I know he's stressed. Hopefully he can finish it. And I'm here crying for the future.

The future I see is cloudy. When I'm asked to choose the people I love. Which in my dream all can gather together... Some day. I want to show my parents, this is my choice. An amazing man, a fighter, a man who values me a lot. But it seems like it was a dream. Because I wasn't given a chance to show it.

I was just given a choice, choose one. My parents or Nando. I choose all of them. That might be there, Nando was thinking the same thing. If he chooses me, he might have to leave what he has right now.

Or are we just going? So that I'm not selfish about Nando's life. I left my parents, like Nando had to leave all of them. Living in a city we had no one in, pioneering back from scratch. Maybe this is a choice we should think about.

But where is the place that the Nando family is out of control? Ah, the impossible thing I thought.

My chest hurts. I want to call Nando. I really need her.

I took the HP and called Nando. At 02.25am.... Nando must be sleeping. But I have to call her. Gpp Nando didn't say anything, the important thing is that he kept my phone up.

" Yank.." greet me when the phone is received but there is no sound of welcome...

" Hmmm why yank?" answer Nando who is probably only half conscious...

I started sobbing without speaking.

" Yank's video call?" add it again.. Then the phone switched to a video call

" What are you doing?" ask Nando curiously. I didn't answer, just shook my head and cried.

" There's no crying..." Here's Nando.. Very gently, she looked panicked at this moment. Confused as to how.

" Febians..... What's up?"

" I missuu... I want you here now... I need you...." My chest is tight, it hurts, it feels like there's a stab in my chest that makes it hard for me to breathe...

" What's up? How come gini suddenly? just fine.... You why? Remembering Mother?" Nando tried to find out by guessing all of them..

Then I nodded.. And keep crying..

" You miss Mom? Mind Mom? You calling? Why aren't you?"

" I called Mom earlier." I replied.

Nando seemed to be sighing deeply. The sign that he already knew that I was crying because there must be a problem when calling Mom..

" I'm going wrong... The feeling wants to tell you not to call Mom, if it's every call Mom so you always cry. But it's impossible. Patience is Bi..."

I just nodded too..

" I have to" asked Nando again. And I answered with just a slit.

" Crying,, nagging until relieved... I'm companions... " Nando looked at me. He chose not to ask what was the reason for the words of the mother that made the quiz. Like knowing the end of the base.

" After this, no matter what happens, I promise we'll be together Bi, I've thought long, maybe it's hard for us. But his decision in us Bi, I just want to be happy with you. Maybe this time, if this decision should happen, we should start from zero, and withhold bad words from others, we should prepare, huh Bi?"

I was saddened to hear Nando's words. Although faint, I saw there began to be a puddle under his eyes. I was wrong to call her. The hashtag guy in front of me was crying behind me all this time. And he still has to fight tomorrow. And what he's betting on, is bigger and heavier than me. I'm selfish?

" Yank, if we're both happy. I even find it hard to let go of my hand grip on you. I haven't seen you in a while, miss Bi... When you cost me, if my night often between meals, sometimes I already want to sleep, but somehow there is a push that makes me rise, just want to see you smile, but somehow there is a push, it's a big deal, Bi, but the reality is that. As busy as I was in the office, again serious work, sometimes there was like a sudden debate, which made me remember you. I sometimes think this is overrated. But it's like that. I can't imagine you not being Bi's... I'm sorry I kept crying like this... And most of all my thoughts, I can no longer escape you. I don't want to be an irresponsible man, because you've given everything to me. I promise, I'll marry you Bi... I don't want other men to think you're a cheap woman because of that"

I just cried hearing Nando's words. And I saw that at the end of Nando's eyes there were already teardrops. Oh, my God, I want him. Do not exchange with another God.

" The louder the cry Bi" joked Nando

" Crying, if it's still crowded. I'm companions... Because even if I wanted to pick you up and hug you, now it's impossible"

Those words made me a little relieved. Because I remembered how panicked Nando was to see me crying on the street and bring me to the beach. Yes the first day I felt the warmth of this man. Even though we were not dating at the time.

" Nando.. Can we not be happy? No crying, no begging for blessing?"

" Who begs for blessing? No... Whatever the decision is"

I'm starting to feel relieved. My crying began to subside. And I'm getting sleepy. Nando was still staring at me when I remembered the last time....