Missing From Bian
Counting Backward Again

" Hey...." Hello Nando, when his eyes are open, he immediately kisses the tip of my head.

" Tumben pagian wake up? Hungry already? Had breakfast?" add it again.

" No, wait for you, sama2 just eat breakfast" I replied.

" A little more, yeah... " Said spoiled Nando, then pulled me into his arms.

I chuckled at Nando's spoiled behavior like this.

" Yes, whatever" answered me, then returned Nando's embrace,

" The kid next door was funny last night." added me again.

" Piere his name. His face looks just like his father. I guess if I had a kid, a boy, I'd want his face to look like his mom. Don't look like me. But if the chick, gpp, looks like I'm her face"

" Why is that?"

" Yes gpp, my boy's tree must be a real guy, wayward, but pinter"

" Weird, how would you like a wayward boy?"

" Although only a shadow, I still want you to be the mother of my children later Bi..."

" Ndo, I'm back around next week huh, do we need to make a farewell party?"

" Official in the bed? Mandatory yank"

" The one outside? What a show"

" You want to go to a restaurant?"

" i don't know, I really don't want to, because I'm afraid it's sad for sure. Although only a year friends, but it feels a lot that I have passed with them. Doesn't feel..."

" I follow you, if you want to do it outside the office, please..."

This morning's chat before breakfast was just a small talk. Recalling the days that we have passed, clarifying some things that are still question marks so far. And the important thing is that there were no tears this morning. Both me and Nando are starting to be better prepared.

We decided to have breakfast, finished breakfast, I took an alternate shower with Nando, and after that just lay down to play our phones.

Suddenly a call from Lusi came in.

" Sister.." call Luci.

" Yes deck, how's it going, how are you?" Answer me enthusiastically.

Honestly, Lusi had only contacted me if there was a problem, more me who always contact her.

" Sister, I may be the day after tomorrow will be re-operated sis.."

"What do you mean by Deck?"

" A few days ago the condition of the father will have improved, even wanted to get out of the ICU, but last night deteriorated again mba. I have to have another operation "

I shed tears, what should I do. If I go home now, I haven't done clearance and handover with my replacement. Between work and my dad.

Seeing the panic and beginning to frown, Nando approached me. He grabbed my shoulder, stroked my back gently, as if to say that everything would be fine.

" I just want that info, brother, if you can come back, and accompany my father"

" Why wait the day after tomorrow? Why not as fast as Lusi?"

" Good Deck, may all be well huh?"

" Didn't you come home?"

" Sister will be back on deck in the next week, but brother can't come home that fast, brother must handover first deck..."

" Sister, is that more important than my father? Susi was disappointed, brother..."

This time Lusi spoke very loudly, he really showed his disappointment to me, this even made me cry even more because I was confused.

" Sister, Lusi is tired, sister, tired. Not Lusi wants to complain about taking care of my brother's father, but indeed Lusi feels why only Lusi? Like her father's son is just Lusi himself..." Lusi spoke very loudly, it evaporated his emotions that I thought had actually been in his mind for a long time.

" Dek, I'll try. But you can't promise..."

Susi then ended her call. I was surprised by what Lusi did. I didn't expect the boy to vent his emotions that way on me. Yeah, whatever it is, it's his right. And I have to understand her. He's tired.

I cried in Nando's arms. Like her even though I sayup, she could hear the words of Lusi earlier. Because without me telling you, it looks like Nando knows the problem right now.

" Where?.." asked Nando

" I don't know Ndo, what to do.."

" Come home tomorrow"

" Can't, I haven't handover "

" Not to be thought of. That's my business. I'll do everything here. Don't worry..."

My body shivered, I shook it hard. Not only because you're getting ready for surgery, but also Nando who I left sooner.

" Job problem here, and transfer you there, I'll take care of it. Go home, look at the condition of the father, and accompany Susi also Mother, let their burden be a little reduced"

" I'm still not ready for Ndo... Not ready to leave you..."

" Don't think about it. Not tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, you'll leave. Ganah Bi's... They need you"

I didn't answer. I drowned my face in Nando's arms. I kept crying. Nando just kept stroking my elus hair and back.

This camping is our last memory. If we're not a match, if we're not reunited, how will I keep the memories with a handsome man, whom I love so much, if I marry someone else?

How would I love someone's husband if Nando and I were both married? We will be happy with our partner later. How do we hide a heart that is half, no, almost entirely the property of another.

And the most difficult thing is maybe, when we miss each other, is it right for the two of us to exchange news?

I squeezed Nando's shirt. My heart hurts back. I want to drag Nando to the lake, want to die together, let this feeling and this fear be done. Because I'm not sure I'll be okay after this.

"Bye....." Nando's whisper.

" It's crying. We're both still here. You remember that? we also rush home during the last camp, because you want to catch the plane. Now either. Like his we are not blessed to camp" he added while joking.

I hate this word blessing.

I ventured to look at his face. Nando smiled sweetly. And I put my face closer to her. We too are dissolved in sin.

O sin, a sin that we have committed many times. A deed that was forbidden to Nando and my religion. Religion also makes this relationship difficult.

Am I not afraid of the problems that arise from my actions later? Problems in my future?

Already, all I have expressed. Even to Ryo, I've conveyed this condition.