Missing From Bian
Then...

" Thank you Ndo... For your decision, choose to remain with me.." I looked at Nando's face. I saw a deep sadness in his eyes.

" But are you ready to lose everything? Losing your parents, losing the facilities you had all this time? Then start it all from zero, that weight is dear..." Lirih. I tried very carefully to speak, I tried to lead Nando, to think realistically. And I was happy, I loved Nando, and he chose me, but I couldn't possibly force blind love, just because I love him, I didn't want to trouble him.

" We try Bi, we try. Not going to be empty anyway, we find a place to work as soon as possible, then prepare to live there, this apartment is my personal, my mother does not know how, we can sell to buy a car, we can sell to buy a car, and slowly we can save to buy a house"

I know Nando. Nando always thought very realistic, intelligent, and mature. But this time I was like dealing with a college boy, who was thinking rashly, without calculations.

" Good Ndo... I'm coming with you. But you're sure? Your relationship with parents will be very bad, and it is not impossible that your papa mama blacklisted us to other hotels. They must easily find out where we apply, in Indonesia, even other countries. Then how are we? If that happens?" i'm weakened.. As much energy as I have to explain to Nando. Because, if I find just a little something that can make me sure I survive, I will survive, but from then on, I did not get the words and mature calculations from Nando.

" How should Bi be? I love you, I want you, and I......" Nando cried even more.. Maybe as a man his self-esteem is crashing at this time. When she wants to hold on to her love, and cry like this.

" I promise, I promise to take responsibility for what I did to you. I don't want you to hate me and think I'm a criminal who's ruined you..." Further again.

" Nando's.... I never thought you were a criminal who desecrated me. I did it all without coercion. I love you Ndo. Just like you, I also want the person who has taken it away from me, to be my husband" I hope.

" then?" Nando asked, as his thoughts in his head began to unravel.

" Let me go home... " Condition turned. Right now, I can no longer stem my cries. I keep staring at him inside. Nando was surprised to hear my request.

" Yes please, after that you come back here again right?" Answer her

" No.." I shook my head.

" What do you mean? You want to leave me? lt's it?" Nando emotional. His face reddened, his sad face began to form a face with anger and he released his hand that had embraced me.

" I think Ndo, your mom is right. She doesn't want to take me, because she doesn't want me to hurt my mom and dad. Then I can hurt your parents?" I'm getting emotional, my chest is tight.

" So you want to leave me Bi? Tega you Bi" Nando was angry, he slammed the TV remote nearby, then pushed me slowly, but I know it means he wants to keep his distance from me. When I let go, Nando stood up angry, looking back at me.

" Don't believe me you're like that. It could be that when I day and night look for a solution, you resigned. Lettered Bi, Tired... Why am I the only one willing to sacrifice, aren't you?"

" No.. It's not like that. It's not that I don't think of you, not that I don't want to hold on to this relationship until marriage and beyond, but that we can't... We're both children of parents who expect so much of us, and my parents, don't want to lose me, I'm their backbone, if they are angry and no longer accept my hand, how is their life. And I don't want to lose my parents' blessing, nor do I hope your parents' blessing "

Nando was getting red, very angry, never once did I see him angry, let alone this angry. Nandi turned around and paced back and forth, like he wanted to find something that could be an outlet of his anger.

" I love you Ndo, never did I think that what I'm living with you is just a waste of time, just a waste.. No Ndo, you mean a lot to me. I'm grateful to be given the chance to be loved by a near-perfect man like you "clearly me.

" liks. If you're happy why would you want to leave me? Why?"

" For our sake Ndo. For our parents' sake..."

" I told you I don't care. I'm sincere about everything, you??"

" You've been living since Ndo was a child. Life is given maximum facilities, and you want to try to escape all this? It's not easy Ndo. You could be depressed living a later life"

" Now, I'm depressed" Nando brought his face closer to me, as if he wanted to swallow me with his angry look.

Nando then left, left me alone on the tv couch, and went into his room.

I'm walking towards my room, hopefully tomorrow, Nando's better. And I wish I could communicate healthy and calm with her.

I tried to lay my body on the bed. Pull the blanket, then close your eyes.

Fail.

I can't sleep at all. I tried to kill time by playing my phone. Almost an hour, but no drowsiness. The truth is, I miss Nando.

I ventured myself. After all if I stay in my room, there I get more restless. I walked towards Nando's room, and knocked on his door.

Three knocks, no answers, I tried to open the door, and the door was unlocked.

I looked at Nando who was wrapped in a blanket. I shunned all the self-esteem and risks that might arise, and then I laid myself beside Nando.

I touched Nando's sleeping face, the man who made me really want to lose it if I didn't have it.

Suddenly Nando's hand reached for my body, tightly wrapped around it, but still with his eyes closed. I was surprised, but I tried to understand. I kissed her forehead, long time... Before I let go. Missing, I miss Nando, longing for the day we were alone, telling stories, joking, and making love. Almost during his time with Nando, there was no meaningful quarrel. Quarrels are just because of other people, bullies and jealousy, and that's meaningless.

I shifted my body even though it was difficult because of Nando's tight embrace, and buried my face in his chest. Nando's fragrant body instantly reminded me of the first day I borrowed his shoulder to cry on. And today, I am crying because of our unending love...