My name is Ayu
Chapter 56

⚘⚘⚘ Which is already emotional soul and body...patient mom.... Life is not just about sweet and beautiful dreams. Its reality there is sweet, sour and salty. Will our lives be beautiful? Yuks we continue Ayu's story. Don't forget to vote and like yes darling....😘😘😘😘

POV Dio

The quarrel between Mama and Sheila continued. All of their words seemed to be circling in my head. Cold sweat came back out of my forehead and hands. Papa is also participating. He who initially separated Mama and Sheila even became a stronghold with Sheila and fought to scold Mama. Even with tears flowing, Mama undaunted to keep defending me.

I raised my hands and used them to cover my ears. Too noisy. Too noisy. I'mscared....

My hands are starting to shake. I kept my head down and closed my ears tighter. I don't want to hear it.

"Papa... Dio's sorry....."

"Papa.... Dio will study again...."

"Ampun Pa's.... Forgive Dio...."

"Dio's wrong, Pa... "

"The wrong one...."

"Sorry Dio, Pa...."

"Sorry Pa...."

"Sorry....."

I felt my shoulder being shaken tightly. The sound of Mama's crying breaking made me feel even more guilty.

"God, Pa.... "

"Don't hurt Mama, Pa...."

"Dio will learn again, Pa...."

"Dio will get a mathematical value of 100, Pa... Dio promise...."

I felt Mama's warm embrace. Her soft hand rubbed gently on my back. "Dio Darling... Conscious Nak.... Dio.... Mama please.... "

I opened my eyes slowly. Mama let go of her hug on me. Mama's hand held my hand which still tightly covered my own ear. Slowly I opened my hands and began to hear Mama's voice.

"It's okay, honey. Look at Mama." I still look confused in Mama's eyes. "Calm down, honey. Breathe in and breathe out slowly."

I obey Mama's words. After taking a few deep breaths and exhaling them I began to calm down.

Wipe the tears that have soaked my face. When did I cry like this? I looked at Mama in confusion. What the hell's going on?

Mama held my hand and held it gently. "It's okay, honey. You can go through it again this time. You're strong."

Sheila looked at me sharply. He hates me the most when I'm like this. An angry and hateful look was on me. "I'm sorry, La." Sheila threw away her face not looking at me anymore.

My eyes shifted to Papa. He stared blankly as if he regretted everything. I got up from my seat. "I want to calm down first."

I went to the backyard. There's an indoor pool that Papa deliberately made as my favorite place. I rolled my pants up to my knees. I sat by the pool and put my feet in the cold pool water.

I'm friday again. A disease that I have been able to cure for a long time but finally recur today. I knew I couldn't make a full recovery but I didn't think I'd come back like today and Sheila saw me like this for the second time.

I still remembered her face that implied hatred when I was in such a phase. There was shame and disappointment in his eyes that he could not hide.

I suffer from Anxiety Disorder or better known as anxiety disorder. I'm not like other people's fantasies about the rich young master being great everything. I'm not like in a novel about a beautiful fantasy about a young master who is able to do everything and looks cool.

It's just a fictional story that looks beautiful. I am not like that and it is impossible to live as a flawless young master if I have parents like Papa Putra.

I'm not okay being the son of one of the richest men in Indonesia. Do you think I live a good life with treasures and just point there and point here and then I'll get everything? Do you think I'll just pick up and then my bodyguard will do whatever I tell you to do including killing people I hate?

Life's not that beautiful, Dude. Having a very successful Papa do you think the standard of living that Papa set is not high? If my math score gets 80 then I'll be punished for not having lunch and having to study until dinner time comes. Imagine if my grades were even lower, what punishment would I receive no more severe?

I've never been surrounded by as many bodyguards as in the movies. Only a driver picked me up at school. How can he feel safe if I am accompanied by a driver? I took martial arts lessons like taekwondo and wingchun so I could defend myself.

What caused my Anxiety Disorder ? I don't know what, either, I seem to feel very depressed with Papa's attitude.

Papa doesn't come from a rich man like Mama. The pressure from the Mama family made Papa whip himself in order to be successful. The hard work and discipline he did bore fruit. His company was a great success, even with his arrogance he gave Mama's luxury home in Semarang to be used as a basketball court and playground.

Papa's success influenced our family. His attitude is increasingly authoritarian. Everything He wants must be done. And his greatest wish was to make me his dependable successor to continue to lead his company.

The originally gentle and loving Papa began to change. He started hard on me. Since Junior High I began to be pressured Papa to always learn. Papa even called some tutoring teachers who came and went to teach me.

I, who was in my early teens, always rebelled. I envy seeing my classmates who come home from school like to play games together or hang out somewhere. My young soul wanted to rebel, I ran away from my driver and played games at the cafe not far from school.

It's predictable that by the time I get home from school, punishment is waiting for me. Papa with his fierce face waiting at the door of the house. All my batman toy collection is destroyed. Not only that, Papa even yelled at me very loudly.

Feeling hit and disappointed, I began to experience symptoms such as cold sweat. My hands and forehead broke out in cold sweat and I started to cover my ears. I'm afraid to hear the screams for Papa's sake. My mouth keeps on messing up apologizing so Papa doesn't get angry.

Mama who just arrived from Semarang immediately hugged me. After being pacified by Mama, I finally regained my consciousness again. Mama felt something was wrong with my situation, she took me to a psychiatrist.

I was diagnosed with panic disorder. Not being strong with pressure can cause my disease to recur. This disease has not recurred for a long time.

Does Sheila know about my illness? Yes, Sheila knows. That's why I love her. He accepted my shortcomings. Even though sometimes the face stench can not be hidden when he saw my disease crumpled.

There is no rich white riding prince like a fairy tale. The prince has his own shortcomings. I am rich and handsome, but all my life I have to control my emotions so that my illness does not recur. Yeah, it's the truth. Not just a beautiful delusion like a romantic picisan that is very good out there.

The one I'm still thinking about. Will Ayu also be able to accept my flaws? Will my son not be ashamed to have a father like me?