Only I Love
Chapter 39

Ustadz Candra who just contacted Ummi, trying to calm the atmosphere of this Pesantren Cottage that is slightly heated. He told the academic community, both santriwan, santriwati, the assembly of teachers, and karyan that they are undergoing a period of exploration, aka ta'aruf. So that makes everyone who had been excited when Ala brought a man who is not a mahram, now looks to breathe freely and support them.

However, the atmosphere was completely different between them. Ala did not budge because of the overwhelming shame, imagining what would circulate the next day.

Ala is currently in a Rafatar car. "Why didn't Uda call me? Let me go out to where Uda is. Uda knows for itself, here is Pondok Pesantren, a place where we educate children with religious knowledge. But, my viewing period was picked up by a man who wasn't a husband?"

Rafatar looked at Ala with understanding. "I'm sorry, Ala. I really didn't think about the impact that it could have caused a misunderstanding there. I fully understand how valuable the environment is to you and how religious values are kept very strictly here. I should have communicated with you better before making this decision."

Rafatar took a deep breath for a moment before continuing, "I want you to know that my intentions are good. I want to prove that I'm serious about our relationship and want to involve our family in it. But I understand your feelings and your shame. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

Ala looked at Rafatar with mixed feelings. There was tension on his face, but there were also obvious doubts. "I know, Uda. But, Uda also had to understand how tough this situation was for me. I've felt failures in marriage before, and I'm afraid of being in the spotlight and getting scorn from this neighborhood."

Rafatar clenched his hands gently. "I understand how hard it is for you, Ala. But let me prove that I will take good care of you. Let me fight this relationship with you. I'm ready to face whatever's coming, as long as I have you by my side."

Ala still looked doubtful, but there was a glint of hope in her eyes. He tries to overcome the shame and doubt that haunts him. "I need some time, Uda. Time to gain confidence and face the reactions of those around us. I don't want to rush things, but if you're really serious, you have to be ready to face it together."

Rafatar looked at Ala sincerely. "Ala, I just wanted to tell you that I just went to your house, asking Ummi for permission personally. Ummi allowed me to get to know you more closely in the not too distant future. If you are sure to continue with me, then there is no need to linger for us to tie it officially and lawfully."

Ala was touched. This euphoria was completely different from the one given by Syauqi back then. "So, all I need is a sincere person. Just have me in his heart. If Uda's tied to a past romance, I'm going to vote backwards."

"I don't want to, twice married, both still tied to their past. I'm really not strong, if it happens again. Hence, before this relationship gets any closer, it is better for us both to think about whether we deserve to have a more sacred relationship." Ala looked down to play her fingers, there was a doubt that really disturbed her mind.

Rafatar felt doubt in Ala's words. His hands, itchy want to pull and put it into his grasp. However, he soon refrains, as he knows that Ala will definitely be angry.

"Alas, I understand your concern. I'm very serious about this relationship, and I'm making sure I won't bring the burden of the past into it. Because, in my past there was only the name Humaira, aka Ala."

Ala raised her gaze, looking at Rafatar with mixed feelings. There are doubts still to be seen, but there is also a desire to believe and try again.

"Uda, why did Uda say that? Why was there me in Uda's past? We have no special relationship of any kind."

Rafatar glanced at Ala's hand tightly. For a moment, he bit his lips trying to hold back. "I just want you to know that my heart is only you, and my mind always remembers when I am with you, even though I never thought I was. This time, the opportunity will no longer be wasted! I will try my hardest to prove it. I want to be your best choice."

Ala felt the warmth in her heart. There was a longing in his heart to find true love and unshakable happiness. He promised himself to consider everything wisely and follow his heart.

"All right, Uda. If Uda does say that, come .. I want to get to know you better. Of course in a good way and not deviate from what religion has determined."

Rafatar finally felt great relief. Finally, Ala's mouth said it real to try to give way to getting to know each other.

Ala started to look nervous. However, he nodded and smiled. The car entered the home page of the Rafatar family.

"Let's face this together, Ala. I will always be by your side, support you, and take good care of your heart. I hope we can build a strong, loving, and blessed relationship. Together, we can cross every obstacle and achieve the happiness we dream of."

Ala felt more comfortable with the presence of Rafatar. He held the end of Rafatar's shirt smiling in embarrassment.

Ala feels tense as she enters Rafatar's house and meets Ama. However, Ama did not give a good response to Ala's presence. He looks doubtful and unhappy with Rafatar's decision to bring Ala home.

"What do you mean bring this woman into our house, Rafatar?" ama asked in a sharp tone and full of disbelief.

Rafatar tried to explain calmly, "Ama, I want to introduce Ala as someone special in my life. We're going through a period of exploration to build a relationship that's halal and blessed."

However, Ama remains skeptical. "How can I be sure that she is the woman you deserve? She was a widow, how many times did Ama say? Haven't you heard what Ama asked for? Find a wife that's not someone's wife and not someone's ex-wife! Why don't you follow Ama's orders?" The mother's voice was so thunderous that it filled the room they occupied.

It made Ala feel offended and sad to hear the words of Ama. However, he still tried to maintain his composure and express his wishes respectfully.

"Ama, I understand Ama's worries. However, my previous marriage was part of my past. I have learned a lot from that experience and strive to become a better person. I am confident that with the support and love of Rafatar, we can form a happy and harmonious family."

Rafatar added, "Ama, please give both of us a chance. I love her and am committed to caring for her and being happy. I'm sure if Ama knew her better, Ama would see the kindness and the amazing qualities that Ala has."

Ama still looks doubtful, but she begins to consider Rafatar's words and sees a serious taste in his son's eyes.

"But, Fatar, you should know that Ama wants the best for you. Do not let you get hurt just because of the wrong choice of partner. Ck, let alone your spouse's widow. Want to know my son is handsome and rich, then easily deket-deket and then arrested invited to marry? Islamic style, but his behavior ... Ck ..." Ama looked at Ala sharply from head to toe.

Ala felt devastated and humiliated4 for what the mother of the man who wanted her to get closer. She felt that her fault was being a widow and according to her mother, she was unfit for Rafatar. Ala tried to be firm, but resigned. Ala herself had prepared herself to think this might happen.

"Well, Ama .. I mean, Mom ... If Mom doesn't allow us to go further, I won't force." Ala got up and bowed the head of the salute sign. "Assalamualaikum," he said passed out of this house.

"Alah, wait!" Rafatar intercepts Ala's departure.

"Don't go after him, if you don't want to be branded malin kundang!" ama shouted with anger.

Although her heart was wounded, Ala remained steadfast and guarded her honor. He realizes that not everything can go his way and maybe this is the destiny he has to face. Ala accepted this decision freely and chose to cancel all the flavors that he still did not receive.