Only I Love
Chapter 40
*Yuk, savers ... Vote can also be*
Ala felt a little relieved after leaving Rafatar's house despite the disappointment she felt was real. He felt he needed time to calm down and reflect back on everything. Ala booked a taxi online with the destination of Mesjd Al Hakim, whose position is right by the beach. Since recent times, the mosque has become a place of soul tranquilization for him.
He was willing to spend a lot of time there, because for him the place was very suitable to be a soul tranquilizing location. Looking outside there is a blue sea that threw itself on the rocks arranged on the edge to withstand the pounding of the waves.
This expensive Indian building, can be visited by anyone so that it is never deserted by travelers and people who want to worship, or want to enjoy the beauty of the architecture of this building.
Ala deliberately sat upstairs, which had a quiet atmosphere. Here he could see and hear the sound of waves hitting the beach. It could make Ala feel a little better.
"Oh my God, I know that I can get through it all. Because of Your promise to everyone, will not test Your servant beyond his means." Ala closed her eyes enjoying the murmur of the waves that still clearly sounded to her ears.
"Abi, come here ...."
The cheerful voice of a child rang out as if commanding a person sitting on a wheelchair, pushed by a middle-aged man, past the ramps, which could be passed by a wheelchair.
Seeing someone sitting down enjoying the atmosphere, closed his eyes, making a boy's eyes open wide. "Aunty?" said it.
Hearing a small voice calling out to her, Ala opened her eyes and was very surprised to see who was next to her. "You-you?" The feeling of the heart that was still chaotic, now seems more chaotic, plus when he saw a person who six years ago had lived with him.
"Abiii, this is Aunt yesterday" the boy's cheer, none other than Baim.
Ala was getting tense when the boy called his father. Ala immediately stood in front of the three of them. Ala nodded her head and bowed her face.
"Assalamualaikum," he said sayu.
Syauqi tried to restrain himself since Baim shouted that in front of them was Humaira. Although he could no longer see the face of his ex-wife, he still imagined how the first moments looked at Ala's face.
The face that he never looked at, felt not to marry someone he did not love. Just now, through a hearing aid attached to his ear, hearing the voice gave a greeting, though faint.
"Greetings Walaikum, Humaira" he said half in a whisper.
"Auntie ... Aunt ... Why did Auntie just leave when she saw Atuk, Grandma, and Abi Aim? All of them, miss Auntie," said Baim.
"Dear?" Syauqi's hand waved asking the son to come closer.
Baim shook his head. "No way, Aim wants to talk to Auntie. How will the tantenya go again? Aim did not have a mobile number Auntie this," he said holding a skirt Ala looked up to look at the face of Ala who looked red extinguished.
Ala gets a panic attack, tries to breathe deeply and tries to control herself. He was aware that avoiding Syauqi would not solve his problem. Perhaps this was an opportunity for him to face the fear and anxiety that had always haunted him.
With a trembling heart, Ala walked in Baim's hand bringing him closer to the father who had called. He tried to smile calmly, even though in his heart there was still anxiety and doubt.
Ala gathers courage and approaches her ex-husband despite her careless steps. He looked at Syauqi's face with mixed feelings, noting the blindness, hearing problems, and paralysis that Syauqi was experiencing. Feelings of concern and sympathy filled Ala's heart.
Ala greeted Father who was behind Syauqi's wheelchair. Father nodded shaking the hand of this woman who was once his daughter-in-law.
"How are you Ala? Thank God, you didn't rush like that." I remember what happened at the cafe.
"Ah, yes, Dad. Sorry ... Ala had business." Ala glanced at the man who was still sitting quietly. His eyes were open, but there was no body there.
"It seems you need to talk, right? After Uqi woke up from her sleep, you never went to the hospital again," said Father, pulling Baim.
"Father will bring Baim Ashar prayer first. If you're done, just let me know." Father took Baim who could not protest with his Atuknya.
This time, there were only the two of them, who were touched by the wind coming from the sea. "How's Uda doing? Sorry, I never looked for you again."
Syauqi tried to daub a smile on the face of her feet that had long lost a smile. "Yes, you can see for yourself how I'm doing. Since then, there's nothing else I can be proud of. I've lost everything, including you."
"But I want to tell you that I have forgiven you." Ala grinned bitterly withstanding the tremors on her body.
"Have you really forgiven me? If true, would you allow me to return—"
"I forgive not for you, but for myself" Ala quickly interrupted.
"I just don't want to carry grudges and hatred in my heart. Allah is Oft-Forgiving, why can't I just have the fingernail to apologize?" ala said with honesty.
Syauqi was surprised to hear those words. Angan who had soared when Ala said she had apologized, immediately fell back to the bottom. But his confused expression immediately turned haru and was full of regret. He understood how great his mistake was and how his actions had hurt Ala.
"Alah, I'm sorry. I realized how stupid I had betrayed you like that. I can't change the past, but I promise to learn from my mistakes and become a better person. I also want to apologize for all the pain I have caused you. Allah has rebuked and reminded me that I am just a stupid man who is easily consumed by n4fsu" Syauqi said in a sad voice.
Ala saw an honest expression of earnestness and regret in Syauqi's eyes. "I can't erase what happened, but I can choose to forgive. Forgive me when I go when you can't do anything. At that time, I was really broken. However, I make sure, this time there are no more injuries," said Ala.
Syauqi silent a thousand languages in deep regret. "Humaira, are you willing to be my aunt again?"
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Rafatar, in a state of annoyance and disappointment, decided to leave home. She felt hurt for what her mother had done to Ala, her heart.
"For God's sake, if Ama can't accept my life's choice and love the woman I choose, I'd rather not get married for the rest of my life" Rafatar said.
In an emotional state, Rafatar drives the car at full speed. He no longer thinks about the safety of himself and others. He is deeply disappointed when his happiness and love for Ala are not appreciated and acknowledged by Ama.
Elsewhere after Rafatar left, Rafatar's mother is still firm on her decision. He lets Rafatar go without compromising on his threat not to marry for the rest of his life. "When are you going to be like Fatar? He really has a bad influence on you. Ama's son who always obeyed the demand, has now become a dissident. This must be because of the widow?"
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At night, in her room, Ala sat on the prayer mat, letting tears run down her cheeks. His heart was filled with pain and confusion over what had happened today. He remembered all the words and treatment from Rafatar's mother that had left him hurt.
Ala's tears grew more and more flowing as she felt lonely and lost. He felt that he did not deserve the love and happiness he dreamed of. His confidence was shaken and shame pervaded his mind.
"Yes, Rabb ... Am I destined to be a woman who will never have a partner in her entire life? If so, I only ask that my heart be strong, Rabbi."
Ala rubbed her tears gently, calming down. He chose to get up and keep fighting. Although it felt heavy, he felt that in the darkness there was always a light waiting.
In a silent night, Ala calmed herself by contemplating the wisdom and lessons of the experience she had experienced. He promises himself to stay strong, to cherish and love himself, and to believe in a predetermined destiny.
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The next morning, when Ala after the dawn prayer, he wanted to relax the body for a moment inhaling the scent of dew that was able to cool the heart. However, he was struck by an elongated body on the covered terrace floor from end to end.
"Kyaaaaakh ..." cried Ala.