Post-divorce
The Part 18

...Don't forget ...

...Leave traces...

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For two weeks Atma did not meet Mas Rama, only Mother who several times asked permission for me to pick up Atma and accompany her in the boutique that I manage, sometimes Ummik also accompanied Atma and Mother, and I also accompanied her, we never discussed the matter of Me and Mas Rama and I did not ask anything to Mother, which I heard in a few days that Mas Rama and Tasya would get married. But I try not to think anything about Mas Rama although still Mas Rama always haunts my mind, but as much as possible I think clearly without involving feelings that will hurt me.

"Ma, where are we going on vacation? A few more days Atma's off school."

"Where does Atma want it? Later let Mama prepare including taking a few days off to accompany Atma vacation."

"Atma wants to go to Om Janu country, vacation there, can't Ma? Om Janu once promised to take Atma on vacation."

"really? Are you planning a vacation to Australia this year with Om Janu?" I ask not to believe the desire of Atma, because I think Atma will ask me to spend the holidays with Mas Rama, is this a sign Atma has accepted the presence of Kak Janu? 

"Yes beautiful Mama, Atma seriously wants to go there."

"Alright, later mama will call Janu, to prepare everything." Atma smiled at my answer,

"Okay Mama."

I heard that someone pressed the doorbell, and I immediately ran to open it, after opening it I was shocked by the arrival of someone ....

"Sister Janu?" He just smiled warmly at me who was shocked to see his whereabouts.

"Assalamualaikum my future wife."

"Wa'alaikumsalam, why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not Amanda's plan, there's a problem that I need to solve, and also we need to prepare for our wedding in two weeks."

"Then?"

"We're going to fit the wedding dress"

"When I just wanted to contact brother."

"What's that about?"

"Atma wants to go to Australia on vacation there."

"really?" I saw a twinkle of happiness after Brother Janu heard my words,

"It's right, brother."

"Well the day after tomorrow we'll be there together, now you're coming to the boutique for wedding dress fittings." 

Me, Atma and Kak Janu went together to a boutique, a boutique that Kak Janu chose to prepare our wedding clothes turned out to be a boutique owned by Mother, which is the one that Kak Janu has chosen, I don't know what an incredible coincidence I think or was this premeditated? 

"Omma.nl ...." Atma ran happily into the boutique.

"Atma knew her Amanda?" ask Janu Kak wonder.

"This is the boutique owned by the mother of Rama mas, Kak ...."

"really? Brother doesn't know, this is the boutique EO recommended for our wedding"

"Sister, I told you, our marriage is simple if we need to do enough marriage contracts, and invite our relatives and close friends only."

"I just want to give my best to my future wife, am I wrong?" Brother Janu looks a little disappointed with my request.

"But this is my second marriage, Brother, I don't think I deserve a fancy wedding." she turned her body to face me,

"Never humble yourself to the status you hold Amanda, I love you sincerely, and love Atma." Brother Janu held my hand. "if this wedding event doesn't make you comfortable I'll obey all your wishes, we'll just do the akad event without a fancy reception." 

"Does Brother really mind?"

"Whatever it is for you Amanda" he said, smiling warmly, and then he invited me into the boutique. Mom was shocked by my arrival, after Janu explained that I finally smiled and understood.

"Mom didn't expect to make a wedding dress for someone you thought was your own child." 

"It just so happens that ma'am, I didn't know you guys knew each other, this was purely on the recommendation of the organizers who took care of our wedding" said Janu Kak politely, I'm still awkward about this situation, I'm still awkward about it, so that I did not say much, Atma has been actively playing with employees of this boutique, he is used to being here.

"It looks like this dress is suitable for you Amanda, to wear a wedding contract, the size seems to fit you, New mother makes this model" mother chose a simple dress but looks elegant in white, white, I tried on the dress that Mom chose, Me and Mom were in the fitting room,

"Mom did not expect to prepare wedding clothes for someone who I hope to be mother's daughter-in-law for a long time" said Mother with a sad face

"Mom .. I'm sorry Amanda didn't mean to make Mom sad," I hugged Mom. "Amanda still thinks of Mom as Ummik, Amanda's real mother, no matter what happens, keep Amanda as Mom's child."

"If Rama had been honest from the beginning, maybe he would have stood by you today."

"Don't imagine Ma'am, because it will make us even more disappointed. Right now Amanda is just following her fate sincerely."

"Mother please answer honestly, do you love Rama?" Mother's question made Me widen my eyes, and made my heart beat faster, for a moment I was silent to feel what my heart was feeling,

"Yes Mom, Amanda just realized it. But Amanda won't disappoint Janu, she's too good to be hurt. Amanda loved him so it was not difficult to love Kak Janu after we married, after all, did Mas Rama have chosen Tasya as his life companion?"

"Yes Amanda, you're right, I shouldn't be selfish about my own happiness without thinking about your future husband and Tasya's feelings" Mother wiped the tears that flowed down her cheeks. "Mom will always consider you a son and Atma a grandson of Mother." she smiled.

"I don't think I'm wearing that dress for too long" said Janu made me feel disappointed.

"Not worth it, brother? Does Amanda look so ugly?"

"Not ... that's not what I mean, I can't help but say my kabul immediately and bring you my arms." he raised his eyebrows while smiling mischievously at me, I hit his arm, too, I'm upset if he teases me like that.

"Stop teasing me or I'll get mad, hmm?" He formed his finger with the letter V and walked away from me with a chuckle.

"He's a good man Amanda" said Mother

"Very good Ms.." I said looking at the back of Kak Janu who was approaching Atma.

Tonight I'm preparing the things that I'm going to take on vacation with Atma and Kak Janu,

"Sister, this is pure Brother wants a vacation or avoids seeing Mas Rama's wedding tomorrow?" Ask Gita who came to my room

"Maybe it's both decks."

"Silent disappointed? Brother doesn't want to try to fight for Mas Rama for Atma?" I took a deep breath hearing Gita's question

"Mas Rama should be responsible for Tasya's pregnancy, that's the first reason Big Brother, the second, Brother doesn't want Atma to know it because it will make him sad, you know deck, you know deck, Atma desperately wanted Mas Rama to be Papa to connect for him."

"Are you sure Rama's men impregnated Tasya?" I shrugged my shoulders, because I didn't understand either, 

"Maybe he may not, but surely Mas Rama did not deny it all, maybe he felt he had a relationship with Tasya, ah already the deck do not ask anything more about Mas Rama."

"Son't love her, does he? Answer it honestly!"

"Yes Brother loves him, while away from Mas Rama there is a corner of Brother's heart that feels empty, but love is not everything deck, hopefully after Sister married to Kak Janu, Kak Janu, brother's heart will be filled by him and forget Mas Rama."

"If you can't forget, how?"

"Doain Sis so that you can forget and love your partner later." I passed from before Gita and pinched her cheek so she would stop asking anything about me.

I, Atma and Kak Janu are already at Soekarno Hatta airport departure terminal, Atma looks happy as well as Kak Janu, but not me, considering Mas Rama will be married to Tasya affect my mind and heart, by leaving Indonesia in the next few days hope to forget my sadness and disappointment. I silently looked at the face of Brother Janu, the kind, mature, loyal and loving man that I should be thinking about right now, that I should keep his feelings in mind with all that he has done to try to make Me and Atma happy, I should not think of someone who already belongs to someone else ....

"Hey what are you thinking, from earlier Brother noticed you are just daydreaming" 

"No, sister, I just didn't think we were going on a vacation together like we are today." 

"If we're married, we'll always be together like this Amanda, which is very happy for me. Many women have offered love to me but this heart continues to reject it because my heart has been in your grasp ever since we lived together in a parlour, I've felt love for you even though I don't understand what love means back then, which is clear I want to always make you happy."

"Thank you, brother, I hope I can always make you happy." I also smiled and felt Kak Janu holding my hand.

"Mrs ...." Atma said in my lap, stopping our conversation,

"Dear, what's wrong? Want to eat or drink, hmm?"

"If Papa Rama had come with us, Atma would have been happier." 

"Did Om Janu not make Atma happy? Or even make Atma sad?" Ask Brother Janu

"Om good, not evil ...."

"Darling not like this, kasian Om Janu will even be sad, Om Janu invites Atma vacation so you are happy, son."

"Atma kangen Papa Rama, hiks hyks hyks ..." My heart breaks hearing Atma mention Rama's name in front of Kak Janu, I hug Atma to stop crying and remember him.

"I'm sorry."

"Ssthttt ...." Brother Janu put his index finger on my lips, then shook his head, told me to be quiet, and he smiled.

'What is your heart, Sis, to patiently and simply smile seeing Atma has not been able to accept yourself as a prospective Papa to connect for her' I whispered in my heart.