Prison of Love
Ghost House

#36

At six in the morning I was on the bus.

While tightening the red hoodie I was wearing, I closed the AC hole on top of my chair.

Whether it was because the weather was cold or because I was panicking in fear, it felt like my hands and feet would freeze in the cold.

I barely slept last night.

Fear and over-thinking filled my head.

There are only two reasons that made Abah and Mom force me to go home, if this is not about hacking my social media accounts, then the second worst option is that they know the painful facts about me.

Yep. That'sallthatis.

Abah and Mom wouldn't force me to come home just to celebrate my birthday.

Oh my God, yes! It's my birthday.

How could I forget my birthday?

Damnit. A very sweet gift on my birthday, isn't it?

Maybe it's a birthday that I won't forget for a lifetime.

Maybe he forgot. He just called frantically asking why I suddenly wanted to go home. At dawn after the prayer, he picked me up to Kosan to take me to the terminal.

Only one sentence is always repeated,

“Do not ever falter even if they threaten you.”

I'm already panicked just smile cynically and say softly, “You don't know how my parents, Ky. They will do anything to prove their suspicions.”

“Prove it.”

“What?!”

Hengky smiled then grabbed both my hands into his grasp, “Any parent stays the same, Naya. They don't want their names broken. Believe me, they only bluff.”

Hengky's right. My confession only had a bad effect on my future. They will just convict me without asking what really happened that day.

It's always like this every time it will be in court by Abah and Mother. Always I couldn't calm down or fight like I was against every single person's cynical gaze towards me.

My parents are different. They are the best killers of courage.

As the bus speed got faster, that's when I felt my heart rate beat faster.

...---------------------------------------------...

When my feet entered the house, the atmosphere felt like I was entering a haunted house. The haunted house that I used to go to with my friends at the night market.

A tense, frightened and gripping feeling hugged me tightly. Whatever I think will always end in fear.

I'm basically a coward. I'm afraid of heavy rain at night, I'm afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of the depths of the sea or the river, and I can at least be snapped.

I don't understand whether this is the influence of childhood that is always snapped and not allowed to do what I like or just because my character is timid.

When I see Abah or Mother glaring, my guts will immediately shrink. Boro-boro snapped, just looking at it sharply had frightened me.

Like at the moment.

Abah was going to the office when I came. There was only Mom who said she wasn't feeling well. When I kissed her hand earlier, I knew the meaning of her eyes. The look in my eyes will eat me round.

Luckily my two sisters are in Pondok Pesantren at this time. I also don't understand why I'm relieved my sisters aren't home at the moment.

Could this be because of the pride of a first child? I don't want to look weak in front of my sisters.

For most of the day I was at home, Mom didn't talk to me at all. It was like he thought I didn't exist. So did Abah when he got home during the day.

After saying hello, once I saw Abah just a glance and then entered the room.

I who was in the TV room suddenly like a subtle invisible creature.

I don't understand, why would they ask me to come home so early if they would treat me like this instead?

My psychological play is getting worse and worse. My heart grew more and more unsettled and more panicked every time Abah or Mother passed in front of me.

Is this the time? Am I going to court now?