Prison of Love
Pretending Is My Skill

71

Hengky seems to be a magic potion to overcome my bad days. I no longer feel lonely, I no longer feel tormented living day by day. The words of Hengky who asked me to be patient and wait for him were like a place to hang the final goal in life.

There was someone waiting for me, someone who was fighting for me.

I'm not alone, this is all over.

I always say that word in my mind. I let it be repeatedly spoken until it is firmly planted at the bottom of the heart. So, if something comes and forces me to slump, I won't fall as deep as I used to.

The magic spell worked. The magic spell made me focus on developing myself and making me indifferent to Abah and Mom's unfair treatment or the environment that seemed to isolate me.

Whatever opportunity there is, whatever order is given to me, there is nothing I refuse. When Mom asked me to be the Master of Ceremony at every important Foundation event that invited so many people, I tried my best not to embarrass myself. Slowly from important events at the Foundation then developed into MCs at some official educational seminars, weddings and various other official events.

Several times Abah also asked me to replace him to fill various small lecture programs ta’lim assembly he built, felt very heavy at first. Of course, this sinful me speaks as if to be the holiest man in the world.

But it's a good start. In accordance with what is always said, then slowly my body and mind like following the words and words that are always repeated. Time after time I went through without any more coercion with these clothes.

I began to feel comfortable with my loose abaya and long hijab. I began to feel worthy of wearing it, I began to feel that this was the real me.

For almost a year, Abah called me this morning handing me a box wrapped in wrapping paper.

I stared at Abah not understanding, “This is what?”

“Open. This is for Brother.”

When Abah or Mom are in a good heart situation, they will call me Big Brother, just like Ali and Osman call me.

I doubt I'll get the little box. Mom smiled, handed me a small pair of scissors to open the box.

When the gift paper comes off, a new mobile phone box makes my eyes widened in shock mixed with joy, “This what..?” I half screamed with excitement.

“It's a gift for Brother,” replied Mother as she spread her hand.

I stood up and hugged Mom, half not understanding why suddenly Abah and Mom were being so nice to me today.

“Come, try to open, Son..” says Soft Abah.

My finger quickly opened the phone box and then pulled out a cellphone that was still wrapped in thin plastic. I almost jumped for joy if I didn't realize that Abah and Mom were still watching me right now.

“Thank you, Abah, Mom..” I said with a big smile.

Mom nodded, her lips smiling widely. Gently he pulled my shoulder into his arms, “Sorry yes, Brother. Brother must have felt very tormented for the past year or so. But everything Abah and Mom did was only for Naya's own good,”

“Look, Naya's appearance is now much better, Naya is known everywhere as a lecturer ta’lim assembly and also a professional MC. When Naya focuses on improving herself, then a better soul mate will come to.”

Suddenly I immediately break away from Mom's embrace, “Soul?”

I've guessed. There was no way Abah and Mother would instantly treat me well if I didn't have ulterior motives.

“If because of this phone Abah and Mother asked me to do the taaruf process with her, then accept this phone back. So far I've been fine without a cell phone.”

“Name Fatih, his age is quite mature, 28 years. He was a famous trainer, the leader of a large boarding house in Depok. You will thank Abah and Mom later if you successfully marry him. Believe Abah, “ Abah took out a 4x6 photo to me, “This is the photo, you can see it first.”

I'm not flinching. It was not like my head was turning towards Abah.

“Come, Son. Look for a moment..” Mother's voice sounds pleading.

If Mother had already let out such a tone, there was no way I would still maintain my ego. Mom was everything to me, I was even willing to give my life for her.

Half-heartedly I turned my head and took the 4x6 photo. A man of pure white skin, has dazzling dimples, thick eyebrows and an above average face. At first glance, it almost looks like Andy who has a typical middle eastern descent.

It is fascinating if only Hengky has not mastered all the space in the heart.

“Where? Bull, right? Not to lose from Hengky,” Mom smiled nosily while nudging my shoulder. His eyes looked expectantly.

I nodded but my face was almost expressionless, “Iya, he was handsome.”

“She has been squirming Naya when Naya became an MC at the Maulid Nabi commemoration event at the Islamic Centre last month. No one knows, right? At first Fatih accidentally came for delivering Abinya to the Islamic Centre. As soon as he heard your voice, he decided to enter,”

“And after seeing you until the end of the show, he came to Abah directly, volunteered to live ta'aruf with you. Look at the way a gentleman wants someone to be his life partner, he comes directly to his parents, not making the woman numb like you!”

I closed my eyes holding back the blood flow that suddenly soared upwards, making my head feel dizzy holding back the anger.

The shadow of Hengky's smile that suddenly appeared made my chest feel claustrophobic. They can make me do whatever they want, but mate affairs, I can't let it go this time.

“Sorry, Abah. Naya can't.”

Mom breathes masygul, she holds my hand and then in her gentle swab, “That same mother just wants the best for you, Naya. Husband's business is not just a matter of love for a moment, later the goodness of religion can most make your marriage lasting and peaceful.”

I turned to Mom, looking into her eyes for understanding, “Abah and I want what from Naya? Whatever Naya will do but please, Naya please, let Naya choose Naya's own future husband.”

“At least do this process for Abah and Mom, her parents are our friends.we have agreed, it is impossible to just cancel it!” Abah's voice began to rise.

I pursed my lips. It felt like I wanted to leave in front of Abah and Mom and cry all over in my room.

“You take it easy, son. We're handing you the end result. Once you get to know him, it's up to you whether to accept or reject him,”

My words are like a fresh breeze to me. To get out of this matter, I just have to pretend to go through this process with an open heart, right?

All right, it's not hard. Pretending is my specialty.