Prison of Love
I Should How?

77

Damnit.

Why should I go back to this point?

Trouble getting up from the pool of tears, crawling up to the edge but back slipping and back here.

After returning from the restaurant, I did not leave the room. My stomach is not hungry and the bathroom inside helps me not to meet and see Abah and Mom's annoying face for a while.

Yep. I hate those who are so unfair to Hengky.

How could they let Fatih blatantly express her feelings for me yet insult Hengky who was even just smiling at me?

Though at that time Hengky just smiled, just asked what menu I wanted to eat then they ‘exterminated’ Hengky without mercy. Build a high wall between me and Hengky and close all access to it.

The family background they said? Huh! It's bullshit! The fact that Fatih's father had three wives and married a third without the blessing of the first and second wives made me even more fed up.

I don't know if I'm eating hoax news or just gossip. But the information from Uncle Eunuch really came at the right time.

Uncle Kasim just called me. At first I asked only news. But hearing my raucous voice alarmed him and urged me to speak. When I finished telling the story, Uncle Kasim growled furiously and told me about the information I had told you about.

I don't know, from my childhood, Uncle Eunuch has been very close to me. Her cheerful and humorous nature is able to make the shy me feel well received while being at a large family gathering.

Uncle Kasim is my smartest uncle. He studied his S1 in Depok, then continued his S2 and S3 in Germany. His return to Indonesia was when Grandma asked him to come home and betrothed him to Aunt Irina. Yes, his ex-wife.

I don't know the reason why a kind, friendly and humorous Uncle Kasim could be divorced by Aunt Irina, but according to the rumors I heard, Aunt Irina proved to be having an affair with another man.

The fact that I just heard while eating together after graduation yesterday is, it turns out that Abah and Mother were the ones who betrothed Uncle Kasim and Aunt Irina.

After Uncle Kasim and Aunt Irina's marriage failed, then now they will repeat their mistakes again?

Suddenly the shadow of Hengky's smile flashed back. I really want to hear his voice at this time.I looked at the wall clock, only eight o'clock in the evening, is not now the time when the restaurant is crowded?

My name was searched in the contact list but I broke it back. I don't want to interrupt his work. Moreover, the last time he said that he was focusing on developing his restaurant and would open a branch in another city.

It feels like facing problems alone is very frustrating. The presence of Hengky who used to always exist when the slightest problem now feels very meaningful. In the past, I found it natural to always be by my side whenever I needed it.

But this time I realized something, not everyone gets that kind of affection.

If not with Hengky, would I be able to get this sincere affection?

I took a long breath. Right now all I have to do is focus on finding an excuse to reject Fatih. Whatever he said just now, when he knew my biggest secret, I wasn't sure he would very confidently say, “Gak papa, Naya. I accept you as you are.”

Not likely.

Even Hengky alone when he found out that fact had not been able to control his anger, then what about Fatih who was only ‘foreigners’?

Come on, Otaakk...

Find a reason that can not make Abah and Mother struggling...

Look for reasons that can silence Fatih and end this process immediately.

Before another week, before the returning Fatih came seven more days to hear my answer directly from me.

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H-3, before Fatih came home.

I who was folding clothes in the room was surprised by the sound of Mom shouting from the TV room. After hurrying to get to him, Mother said,

“Fatih nanya Mom, You like hijab what color?”

My forehead wrinkled in wonder, “You why is everything?”

“What? Doll?” I just don't believe it.

Mom nodded, waiting for my answer.

“Sentence, Mom. Naya is not interested in answering unimportant questions like that.”

I immediately turned around and went back into the room, leaving Mom who was busy grumbling just to answer such an easy question.

For your information, until now, I have not found the right reason for rejection.

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H-5

01.00, early morning.

Hengky called me, he said that he had just had a bad dream and asked if everything was okay?

I who really intend not to add to the burden of his mind just answer him with the answer he wants to hear.

Furthermore, Hengky told about his increasingly crowded business and in the near future he will soon launch his first restaurant branch in the area near the Capital City. He even expressed his dream that later he would open the opportunity for some budding entrepreneurs to open a franchise branch.

He also told me that Andy helped him a lot in various ways. How grateful he was and grateful to me for being willing to wait for him to this day.

On the fifth day, my brain was still dull enough to just find a simple reason to reject Fatih.

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Why does time go so fast when I want time to stop?

I who tried not to think too much about today and try to live the day normally now end up waking up in the morning with a surprised expression.

Day seven. This is the day I really didn't want to come.

I should how? Oh my God, how should I?

After the dawn prayer and reading the morning dhikr, Uncle Kasim's name immediately crossed my mind.

Only Uncle Kasim can help me this time.

With a huff I waited for my call to be picked up by Uncle. Three calls and not raised.

My eyes were already foggy, my chest suddenly tightened. Shaking I pressed the call button again.

“Assalamaicum, Naya. What's up, deck?”

I screamed in relief, “Uncle from where? Why didn't you pick up my phone?”

“Ah, sorry, it was still in the mosque. This just came home. What's up, deck?”

I who had been walking back and forth now trying to calm down by sitting on the bed, “Please me, Uncle. Fatih will be here today.”

Uncle's voice sounded astonished there, “Then, why do you need Uncle's help?”

“Fatih comes to continue the ta’aruf process. I don't want to be with her, I don't want to marry her. Can Uncle talk to Abah and Mom? Please... I don't know what else to do..” I pleaded. I've even been crying as much as I can right now.

“If this concerns the matter of the two of you, shouldn't you be telling the truth to the person directly? Tell him how you feel. Uncle is sure, he will not want to continue the marriage with a woman who has been blatantly saying she does not like it, right?”

“A-does he want to understand my reasons?” many doubt.

“Of course! Which man insists on marrying a woman who plainly says, ‘I don't like you! I don't want to marry you!”