Prison of Love
Fevers

#9

Something is different from my life now. I can't hide anything from Shinta. Everything I told him. It feels like every event I go through, if I don't tell him, it's like something's stuck.

My brain memory is like not being able to keep all events alone, I have to share it with him in order to be recorded perfectly.

But this time it was different.

I kept all the stories with Hengky alone. It must of course not be easy to hide something from him, but so far everything has gone according to plan. Indeed, several times he suspects our movements, but apparently Hengky's acting is too perfect to be able to fool people as smart as him.

We are not officially dating.

It's not easy for me to accept someone new back into a part of my life. As Shinta said back then, I had to be extra careful about choosing a new partner to live my life with.

And what about my heart?

Has it melted away as time went on?

I admit, Hengky has managed to break the ice stone that protects my heart. Slowly give energy to be able to feel the warmth of each speech, attention or gaze full of meaning from it.

Not counting the number of times he sent Ojek Online to my Kosan every time I said, I don't have appetite. Without much questioning, suddenly someone knocked on the door and said that the food shipment was coming from him.

At first I was ordinary. But he's been doing it for four months since he came to me at the library back then.

Four months ago and four months ago I barely spent any pocket money to buy any food I wanted.

Or when there is a new movie in the cinema.

Hengky knows I love watching Romance movies. He did not invite me to watch together because he said he respected my decision to give me time. But, he booked tickets online, two seats for me and Shinta, sent me proof of e-ticket, and told me to watch a movie together with Shinta.

Shinta certainly did not ask much. If it's a matter of watching a movie, he doesn't care who buys the ticket, as long as he can come watch it together.

There were no more text messages that he sent while we were in class.

All this time I thought going out with a classmate was a little crazy and without privacy. But I was wrong, Hengky made all the usual moments become romantic instantly.

When we were chatting together in class, when I was busy chatting with my friends and he was with his friends.

Suddenly he sent a text message,

...What about Go Food that was Malem? I tried the new restaurant, good?...

Or a message, or,

...Hey, want to know why I don't give up on you?...

...Because the universe has allied to help me find you,...

...Then how could I just let go of that responsibility?...

Sometimes the word is as simple as, too,

...Smile, Naya......

...Ye know? Your smile is the greatest magic show of my life...

And always, when I turned to him, he would pretend that nothing had happened or sometimes just blink his right eye and talk to his friends.

How can my heart not melt when such messages daily fill my chat history?

The first month, I still take it for granted, the second month, I started smiling as I received a chat from her, The third month of chat from her made me opiate, as if there is nothing less if the message from him has not been entered in my cellphone notification.

Is it time for my heart to accept a new inhabitant?

Or am I in too much of a hurry?

...----------------------------------------------------...

Time has shown twelve o'clock at night but my eyes have not been closed. My body felt excruciating pain, even to just walk towards the table next to the bed, already exhausted me.

Cold sweat poured hard on the clothes. My heart rate felt faster than usual. My mouth was dry and my eyes hurt when I saw the light.

I rushed to get the thermometer in the desk drawer. Forty degrees centigrade.

Oh my God, I have a high fever. It feels like fainting.

While shaking, I felt the desk drawer, looking for a heat-lowering drug but I could not find it there.

How'this? I can't go out and buy drugs alone right now.

Ah, Yea. I tried to order the messaging service in the online ojek app.

My finger was busy pressing the screen while holding the pain when my eyes were exposed to the cellphone beam. I ordered several times, all the drivers refused.

I'm getting confused.

The name of Shinta. Although I know it's rude to call her in the middle of the night, but right now I have no choice.

Maybe he's asleep.Maybe his cell phone is in silent mode setting.

I kept quiet for a long time while closing my eyes. Maybe I'll just wait for morning to come, there's nothing more I can do right now.

However, Ah. My head was suddenly dizzy amazingly. My feet don't touch the earth. My body was empty and immediately fell down.

Not likely. I couldn't possibly endure this kind of pain until morning.

I won't be strong enough to endure this alone.

In a crawling position I tried to get up and grabbed the end of the bed. Difficult to go up and then lay down the body.

While trying to sleep, I felt my phone vibrate.

Oh, Shinta. That must be Shinta.

Without seeing the name of the caller I hurriedly raised the call,

“Halo, Naya..”

This is not Shinta's voice.

“Ya...?” I answered limp

“Not sleeping?” Hengky's voice sounded from across there

“But..”.

“You sound weird, you are sick again?”

“Neg. I'm fine with aja” I deliberately lied. It felt unethical to trouble Hengky in the middle of the night like this.

“I just got here. Baruu... Oh yes, last eight I sent Go Food, have you eaten?”

“Iya.. “my answer is short.

I forgot, Hengky just told me that he was going out of town. Tomorrow there's his cousin's wedding so he has to come there.

No more hope, I have to wait for the morning while holding on as much as I can.

“Enak not food? You likey? I got a recommendation from Temen, he said the most delicious sushi is in the restaurant..”.

“Iya. Makasiih yes..”

Hengky was silent for a moment. He was waiting for my next sentence. The moment that sounded was just a sigh of heaviness, his tone immediately changed,

“You sure you're okay, Nay?”

I bite my lips, for some reason my eyes immediately misty, “Iya... I am fine..” I replied while holding back tears.

“No, Nay. I know you better than you know. Is there any medicine there? Or go to the doctor?” His tone sounded very worried.

Even though I knew Hengky wouldn't see me shaking my head at the moment, I still answered his question by shaking my head. Letting silence rule over us.

“You won't get to kayak gini if you're just sick. Okay, wait there. I'm there now”

“Hah? Whahuh? No need, Ky... Distance from there to here two hours. You've just been nyampe, too, must be tired. I can still hold this too. Soon morning, I can go to the doctor myself”

“A minute? It's only twelve, Nay. It's still six hours away. Six hours is lamaa, Nayaa! Anyway you don't go anywhere, wait for me there.”

Hengky turned off the phone call.

...--------------------------------------------------------...

It was almost three in the morning when Hengky came knocking on Kosan's door. I who had changed my clothes and pants, hurriedly grabbed the hijab and dragged my feet open the door.

Hengky's face was clearly exhausted.

He smiled when he saw me and handed me a packet of medicine and snacks.

He forced me to take medicine in front of him, made sure I had eaten some bread and closed the door.

“I'm in the car if you need me. Call me, later I come” he said with a smile.

At this moment the way I see it is different. The one I always saw was suddenly changed for a moment. I began to feel a warmth in my heart, a different vibe, something unusual.

Especially the way he treated me. He respected my decision to give me a chance to enjoy my own time. Treating me like keeping his most precious item, not touching me but I feel that touch.

A very different figure than the one he showed in front of the people.

I smiled while taking a deep breath.

I think I can sleep peacefully now..

...------------------------------------------------------------...