Prison of Love
Woman

#4

Entering the third day after the incident that afternoon. I locked myself in my room for three days. To eat-in wait only when my stomach was screaming for his right.

My mind's falling apart. The world seems to stop.

Time feels so slow.

Every second passed like my footsteps walking on a broken wound.

I am trained but I have to live.

Yep. My world stopped three days ago.

Like he said,

“I'll make you do something you won't miss in your entire life."

He's correct. That afternoon I will remember until I die.

How could he forget that his scar hurt like this?

I wept. Screaming under the pillow, trying to muffle my voice.

The night after the incident that afternoon I had intended to commit suicide.

The clothes bleaching liquid was almost gone I drank but my body reacted spontaneously to reject it.

My stomach took out all of it. Spewing everything along with the swift tears that keep coming out.

The shadow of Abah and Mother continued to flash in my eyes.

That night, Andy repeatedly knocked on my door, calling me nonstop.

But I don't care. I don't want to see his face anymore.

Why is it always the women who bear these wounds themselves?

Why is it always the woman who is forever considered imperfect?

What about the man who took everything from me?

How's him?

There was no trace of any incident on his body, not even a speck of stain.

He was clean, saaangatt clean until if he wanted to brag that he had never touched a woman at all, all would believe.

He can carry on perfectly, without being burdened by anything, without diminishing anything.

How's my?

What about my family?

When everyone finds out, everything will disappear with everything from me.

Not just my good name, but my whole family.

Everything I've done, all the achievements I've achieved.

What would he mean if everyone would know this painful fact?

Basic Cheap. Sok selling expensive but it turned out to be easy!

Ahhhh...!!!! What have I done....!

I should have fought desperately to hold on to my honor, or I should have allowed myself to die rather than hand over my honor, or I should have killed that man before he took everything away from me, or I should have run.

Yep. I should have tried to run.

WHY DID I JUST SHUT UP, YOU KNOW???

What would they say if they knew how I was doing?

Still vividly remembered that afternoon, as Andy knelt apologizing to me, begging me not to end our relationship.

“This is not what I meant, Naya... I don't want you to leave. Don't stay with me..”

I was so scared that I could only cry.

Andy tried to hug me even though many times I pushed his body away from me.

We cry at the same time.

I don't know what's on his mind. Seeing her cry made me even more angry.

What is that cry for?

Can her tears bring back time? Can you give back my honor?

We were silent for quite a while. There was only the sound of sobs that slowly subsided.

Andy tried to persuade me to eat out and accompany him to get a haircut.

“Let you be calmer,” he said at the time.

I don't get it.

Doesn't he understand that nothing can match my current destruction?

Incredible wounds and wounds.

Ah, my tears are getting out.

........................................................................

“You till when are you like this, Naya?”

Shinta sat next to me. His eyes look at me sad.

I took a deep breath, “I don't know, Ta..”

“I've talked to my whole family if you have to spend days here because you are sick again. But please, Nayaa... You can't keep believing!”

I've been staying at Shinta's house for three days. I deliberately stayed here because only in this place Andy could not meet me.

Shinta told her whole family that if anyone came looking for me, they said they didn't know where I was.

“My life is ruined, Taa... everything is messed up!”

"The past cannot be changed, Naya. No matter how hard you try, time will not be repeated. But if you continue to behave like this, your whole life which means also with your future will be destroyed. Completely destroyed. Totally!”

"You don't understand, Ta... You don't really understand what I'm feeling now”

"Tell me, what don't I understand? Same with me.”

“I will not be able to marry, Taa..

Shinta snorted in annoyance, “Who said that?! Are you God Almighty Who Knows about your future??”

"Not to mention if my family knows..”

"They won't know, Nay! But if you keep acting like this, sooner or later they will know!”

All of Shinta's explanations make sense. I have no reason to dispute his words.

“I ask you now, is this way your problem can be solved? Or is it this way you can restore time and put everything back to what you want?”

I shook weakly.

“I fahaamm really why are you like this. Don't ask me if I can really understand what you are thinking or not. How come when you first told me about this matter I cried even harder than you?”

Again I just answered his question with a slow nod.

Our friendship has been over three years. More than enough to understand each other.

“Losing is not the end of everything, Naya. There are still many things you have. Don't lose this make you lose everything. Our journey is long, Naya.

Although painful, but with this incident you know what you should avoid.

You must have hoped to do something different when it happened. You must also constantly blame yourself, but there is no point in being burdened with regrets over things we cannot change.

Life is not only about yesterday, but also for today and tomorrow, Naya.

Ah yes, one more. You said you wouldn't get married? Won't there be a man who will accept you? Thanks God...! those who are going to lose cannot get you, Naya!”

I smiled wryly. I know Shinta was just trying to cheer me up.

“You have three days without college, three days not out of the room, three days you also nangiiisss ajaa. You know what? Hengky same Andy almost fight in front of the class this afternoon?”

“Hengky? What does it have to do with Hengky?”

“Do not know, he said he was very worried about you. Andy also actually had three days back and forth class nanyain you same me but never met Hengky.

Well, they met. Hengky angry trus accuse Andy cause you disappeared during these three days”

“Why does Hengky always interfere in my business anyway?”

“Yes because he likes you, Stupid! You are lost virgin loh Nayaaa not lost sense!”

I'm bowed. Shinta's words were like taking me back to the battlefield I had left behind. A battle that had just begun but my defense was already almost torn apart.

Naya laughed, she pressed both of my cheeks with her hands to make my lips pursed,

“Sorry Iu loh, Bebep Sayaanggg...! Your abisnya really byebelin! You know that Hengky has long said that he likes you but you do not accept."

“Try me to accept yaa si Hengky.. Maybe this incident will not happen with me..”.

“Who said?! It could be even worse! No, Naya! Never deal with him. I don't like you hanging out with Hengky.

Hey, I was fresh too. I told you from the beginning that I don't agree with you and Andy either. The way he looks at you is strange. Not to mention how to talk about senior so pretentious to know everything.

O yes, do not say you forget if he ever for an hour story about his family car collection, assets wealth of his father continues also a large motor collection at his home..!

OH MY GOD, Nayaa!! One hour, Nayaaaa!!”

Shinta and I laughed at the same time. Laugh at my stupidity. Laughing at how beautiful the way the Universe reminds me but I don't mind.

Suddenly my phone rang, Andy's name on the screen.

My eyes immediately looked at Shinta, asking for her opinion.

“Thanks, Naya. Get him here now. It is time for you to solve the problem you have done.”