Suppose that... (Turnable Time)
Not as beautiful as hope

" Eh what, so go home with no lebaran?" Ask Novi.

" It doesn't seem like." Yumna said when Novi was playing at his house.

" What did Galang say to the cake?"

" Yes say if you don't go home, travel is already a million. Not to eat there yet. Plus Ilmi's school enrollment starts early in the month."

" then?"

" Yes not coming home maybe, some boarding house residents also do not go home, so I still have friends when Lebaran." Yumna.

" Your sister-in-law's coming home?"

" I don't know, he said he didn't. But don't know anymore. You see, the news of his son's exam is still confusing." Yumna jawap.

...Flash back on...

" How many days is a week?" Ask Galang.

" I guess 2 weeks' time." Jawap Yumna while feeding Akifa.

" Savings don't have, addresses can't go home this year." Galang.

" Yes not coming home wes." Yumna.

Yumna also did not get an injection of Eid funds, so she also did not expect to go home this year, although her heart was so eager to go home and celebrate Eid with her mother and sister.

...Flash back off...

A few days after her. Mama Elsa is back home.

Yumna could not hide her sadness. He so wanted to be able to go home and enjoy the atmosphere of fasting in his hometown.

" Loh, isn't Akifa coming home?" Ask sister-in-law when Yumna was outside when Mama Elsa said goodbye to Yumna.

" No."

" Well, I'm not going home either. That's gonna take a test. Go home aja lebaran aja delicious " Say sister-in-law.

" Yes.."

Yumna then went into the room. Trying to contact the father, he knew the father would give him a loan of money so that Yumna could go home.

" Look, you don't have to borrow. I will cover your round trip travel expenses. Even as long as you are in Java, I will also bear the cost of eating you and your child. Provenance. You go home to Sumberbaru. Your sister Husna pity. You know her mother is no more. I pity that he was alone when Lebaran. I can't go home because it's still closed."

" I have a husband. I must have gone back to Lumajang."

" Yes, if you go home to your husband. Husna take it too. Husna has a motorcycle. So Ilmi will be with her father. You're shaking your sister's Husna."

" Yes cook me 15-month-old Gendong Akifa." Pekik Yumna's.

" Yes, then you stay home for a few days. At least 3 days before the holiday, and 3 days after the holiday. After that it's up to you where you go, I don't care. I only care about Lebaran, Husna is there to accompany." Say Father.

" Yes, say to your husband yes. And just calm down. I'll definitely pay for your round trip." Say Yumna's father before Yumna decides to end the call.

Yumna was desperate.

The more days, he felt that happiness was increasingly walking away. There was nothing Yumna could do because some brothers were unwilling to lend money to Yumna.

Yumna seemed to have no hope for anyone anymore.

" Hmm, I'll try not to complain anymore. I will live as I am. I consider penance. Although I do not know what sin I have committed that my life has become so complicated as this." Yumna said to herself.

Yumna heard that one would get a match according to the mirror and himself.

So Yumna thinks maybe she had a mistake in the past so get a husband like Galang, who is selfish stubborn and also always wants to win alone in everything.

Although all the sisters of Mother Yumna said that what happened to Yumna was the same as what happened to her mother when she married Yumna's father.

" Is this karma from my parents?" Lirih Yumna's.

Yumna also had time to say complaints against her husband to the father. And Yumna also said that what is happening to her now is because of her father in the past. However, the father said he never did that.

" I've never rationed your mom's shopping money. And I love your mother a lot even though I'm two she said but I really don't want to lose her. I also don't forbid it if I want to go home." That's what the father said.

However, this is contrary to what Yumna got when she told her mother about the household.

" Patience yes, which you experience overcoming the shoes that your mother used to experience. It's just the difference after giving birth to your sister your mother dared and chose to go home to her parents. Every time we your mother comes to visit here your mother always carries her clothes little by little. Then, when mom's clothes will no longer be left in her mother-in-law's house, your mother immediately rejects when your father picks her up to bring her back home."

" If I had the courage of a mother" said Yumna.

" Why don't you try to just leave Galang, who knows after this he'll change." Say friends Yumna

" I don't know, sometimes when he makes me feel so hurt I want to go that day. But at this moment I was burning suddenly pity appeared within me. I can't bear to leave him in this state. Back when we married our economy was so good that it was probably above the green line. But now that our economy is so drastically declining, I can't bear to leave it in this state. I was thinking if I gave up because of this economic situation. That means that even if I get married 5 times I won't be able to survive if God tests me with the economy again."

" But what's it for if you don't feel happiness anymore."

" I know, but on the other hand I also don't want my two daughters to experience the same things that I used to feel. Because of the selfishness of my parents so do not get affection from them, and do not know the chicken good and also bad what to do and what not. Nor would I be willing if my two daughters were taken care of by my aunt-in-law, I would not be willing. I can't imagine what my two daughters would be if they were there. I would love to work abroad in order to make the future of the two princesses better. But I'm afraid that it would be crazy to take my two Daughters and take them away without me being able to reach them. I can't imagine them having a stepmother who turns out to be cruel. I was also afraid that if later I chose to give up my two Daughters would feel regret and might also be angry like I am now."

" Are you angry?"

" Yes, sometimes I get angry about why I was born into such a messy family. Until this happened to me. I also regretted why my parents no one really cared about me. And today I also started to give up because I couldn't make any sense out of my writing."

" Then, what are you gonna do?"

" I don't know. Maybe I'll give up. Tired, my heart and mind are tired. But I don't know where to start."

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