Suppose that... (Turnable Time)
Not a good mom (2)

Yumna tried to be patient against Akifa who began to act actively.

Yumna tried to be a good mother by not yelling at Ilmi or Akifa.

Yumna smiled happily when she saw her two children playing together.

But that happiness was always ruined by Galang.

" That's you, how to sleep through his work. Ilmi you noticed taught to learn again, cook you feel good to sleep while Ilmi you let play here and there like a wild child." Galang said, when Yumna had just put Akifa to sleep.

" Yes I know, I just put Akifa to bed."

" The reason you are."

Yumna only fell silent because she did not want to continue their debate.

Finally Yumna who initially wanted to rest for a while so went out to look for Ilmi and started teaching her to learn to read again.

" So, you son's no prick." Umpat Galang when he heard Yumna a little snapped because Ilmi did not want to listen to Yumna's words.

Yumna fell silent, so she decided not to continue the study session for the day. And told Ilmi to take a nap together with her sister.

Day change day...

The longer the attitude of Galang always makes Yumna disappointed.

It makes Yumna often scold and yell at Ilmi when she can not read or forget to write letters.

Until one night, Yumna cried while hugging Ilmi, she knew that her anger towards Ilmi was due to her frustration with Galang.

However, Yumna was not an angel-hearted human being. He regretted it at night but repeated it again during the day.

" I was a bad mother. I always scold and yell at Ilmi." Yumna said one night crying in the bathroom.

The following month, that month is the third week of the fasting month. Yumna's mother sent some money because she wanted Yumna and her children to go home to celebrate Lebaran with her mother.

Because Yumna had never felt what it was like to be with her mother for several years, and when the mother had just returned home. Yumna and Ilmi were unable to return home because it was still in a hot situation due to the covid.

After going through a bit of debate with Galang, Galang finally allowed Yumna to go home.

And the year of not coming home when Lebaran was a long year for Yumna, after all these years Yumna finally could feel the Eid together with her mother. However, that year also became the first year for Yumna and also Ilmi to celebrate Lebaran without a husband.

Unfortunately, when Yumna fell ill, it made Yumna unable to sail to the house of Yumna's brother.

Finally Yumna just stayed at home with Akifa accompanied by Galang through a video call.

One week after the fall. Yumna gets word that Galang and his brother are coming home at the end of this month.

" When do you want to go home?" Ketus Galang's.

Hah, Yumna already knew that this would happen where Galang would always be angry if Yumna did not return to the house of Galang.

" Date 25, because on that date Arumi will get a holiday leave, so Arumi can come together to Mother's house." Yumna.

" Yes already. Your money is still there, right?"

" There is but a little stay."

" Ck, why the hell are you always wasteful in Bali not in Java. Yes I'll send the money later. And in thrift."

" Yes." Yeah."

The day that Yumna had to go home to her husband arrived.

Although Yumna was reluctant to return, she still had to go back there to take care of Akifa's birth certificate and also planned to make her own KK.

Because Yumna was determined to make her own KK, and did not need to become one with her mother-in-law KK.

" That you, already know your husband is still like that moreover he does not give you a living properly, why do you still survive with him." Mother said the night before Yumna would return home.

" It's okay, for now I can be patient because I'm waiting for Akifa's birth certificate and also a new KK. All this time I've been one with my mother-in-law."

" Yes, the important thing is that you always remember if you can not stand the attitude of Galang then go home because you still have parents. And I'm still willing to finance your life and your two children. Stay here with your sister then I will return to wander to meet your life and also your children." Say Mother.

Yumna was silent, she was crying in her sleep.

If only we had our own home, I would have gone home to Mom. Because I can't stand a wedding. The second child opens a bridge to make my relationship and Galang better. But it only made my exams grow. Galang is becoming more and more. No. I don't want to give up now, I'd love to Mom. But if I go home to mom and mom decide to go back. Who will defend me when I am again judged by the Galang family. I feel like I don't have enough people to support me. I'm afraid they're gonna take my son. Because Galang always threatened to separate me from the children of the mother. I have to how. Why am I so weak. Inner Yumna.

Being in the house of in-laws as if in prison for Yumna, every movement of Yumna felt many parties watching him.

Yumna tried not to care, because whatever Yumna did must be bad in their eyes.

Amidst Yumna's discomfort, Yumna gets happy news. That tomorrow at the village hall there will be a Dispenduk. So Yumna can make a deed and also KK without having to go to the city and wait a long time.

In the spirit of Yumna came to the village hall and began to collect files for the requirements of making the deed and also create a new KK.

Yumna smiled with relief, after finally waiting for approximately 3 hours, Akifa deed and also the new KK, which only had the names of Galang and Yumna and their children so. Tired of having to go back and forth to ask for a signature from RT and RW was also tired of queuing and jostling was no longer felt by Yumna when he saw the deed and the KK was now in his hands.

Finally, I have my own KK, so I no longer feel worried if one day I will leave Galang's life. Because all my files are holding. Inner Yumna.

" Ilmi, you're what the hell is really dong if the toy is machined."

" Ilmi, don't bother her sister Don't make her sister cry."

" Immi you're so naughty."

" Ilmi don't."

" Ili."

Day by day, Yumna's emotions are always out of control, even more so when she discovers Ilmi's unusual behavior. Like, he's starting to prank his sister. She no longer wants to clean her toys or she no longer wants to learn.

Declining economic conditions make Galang so irritable and always quarrel if Yumna ask for money to shop.

" this. Economized, don't wastefully wasteful." He said as he gave 2 pieces of money in red.

" I could have spared if Ilmi wanted to eat with vegetables and only with tofu and tempe dishes. Do you know if Ilmi doesn't like all that."

" Yes, but Ilmi also likes eggs."

" I know, but what happens if every day I feed Ilmi with egg dishes. If I always cook eggs, you're always angry."

Galang then went out of the room because he no longer wanted to argue with Yumna.

A few months later, Akifa is now 7 months old. He was already good at crawling, and started crawling there to here. Akifa started teasing Yumna when Yumna taught Ilmi to play.

And the impact of Yumna's attitude that always scolded Ilmi, Ilmi turned into an angry child.

Not infrequently Ilmi hit the younger brother if the younger brother is disturbing him to play or study.

What Yumna did was even more angry with Ilmi.

" I'm sorry mommy, kid, you didn't mean to yell at Ilmi." Yumna cried at night after Ilmi slept.

He kissed and hugged Ilmi by Yumna. Yumna promises to try to control her emotions, but promises to stay.

Her debates with Galang that occur almost every time Yumna asks for money, make Yumna forget her desire to better control her emotions when facing delinquency from Ilmi.

" Just yesterday I gave you 300 grand, and now you've asked for more money?. Why are you so extravagant Yumna, we can't even save. We also can't afford the cost arrears. You think it's easy to make money?"

From then on, Yumna no longer wanted to ask Galang for money, so she would just wait for Galang to give him money.

Every time rice or other necessities run out. Yumna just said that his needs ran out without asking for money from Galang.

" Pempes is over."

"Rice up."

That's all Yumna always said.

Until one day, when Galang will make tea at night.

" The sugar is gone."

" Yes it's over."

" Why not buy?"

" Yes, because my money is just enough to buy vegetables, if I use the money to buy sugar, then I won't have the money to shop." Yumna.

Then by putting on an annoyed face Galang opened his wallet and gave a piece of money to Yumna so that Yumna buy sugar.

Without a second thought, Yumna immediately walked to a beautiful store to buy sugar and some other necessities that were already exhausted.

Such a thing continued until Akifa was 10 months old .

So Yumna did not say directly that his money was running out, so he would remain silent until Galang himself gave the money to him because Galang himself knew that his needs were running out.

And Galang decided to no longer work with his brother, Galang tried to work together with his friends.

In the hope of meeting the economic needs of the family.

But unfortunately, what Yumna felt was just the opposite.

Instead of making the family economy better, it is getting messy. The work that was completed in a long time, as well as an erratic income, made Yumna and Galang more and more bickering.

" Why don't you just ask if your money is running out?" Ask Neighbor Yumna.

" Because I'm tired, I'm tired of fighting with Galang. Even though I said a lot of things. But still he always wants to win by himself." Yumna said sadly

" Galang doesn't know how dizzy I'm managing finances if he only gives money 200thousand. I will give again after a week. All my needs are bought. I'm actually tired, every week I have to ask for money or borrow money from other fathers and brothers to be able to meet the needs of me and my children."

" Try you invite Galang if you will shop for kitchen needs, and others."

" I've done it a lot, but Galang just kept quiet and didn't comment. However, when the money he gave me ran out then he would let out his scathing words again."

" Hmm, I don't know if I'm also confused by the thoughts of the men. They always assume that the money they give us is enough for everyday purposes. They don't think that needs go up every day."

" Yes, I have also told Galang, bring the price of basic food and other needs sometimes go up. However, he only responded with hurtful words like never buy expensive items or food again. Shitty right?"

" Yes, just like my husband."

" From the past, it could not only rely on income from Galang, but I have to how. I tried selling online but it did not work, because selling online it takes capital. It's not easy to get a buyer just by being a dropship." Yumna Light.

" Not a business."

" Additional effort requires a large capital, if only there was a job that could bring children I would definitely take the job even as a housekeeper. As long as I can get money to meet my needs and also for Ilmi's pocket money."

" Mother asks for money to buy snacks." Said Ilmi who came to Yumna.

" O Lord Ilmi, why do you keep fighting. Try eating rice, do you know if you're not having money."

Ilmi pouting. Yumna sighed.

It often happens, sometimes Yumna became angry because Ilmi who likes to ask money to buy snacks.

Sometimes Yumna realized, this little boy knew what his parents' finances were.

But sometimes Yumna's consciousness is covered by her resentment towards Galang's attitude, which always does not earn a living properly.

Yumna often cried every night, when Galang still did not come home from work. Yumna realized his actions that often scolded and yelled at Ilmi.

" I'm not a good mother, I'm a very bad mother to my children.When can I survive this situation?, and why does God always give me such a hard ordeal. When can I feel as happy as any other family." Lirih Yumna looked at her two sleeping babies.