Suppose that... (Turnable Time)
Me !!

Hi, meet. I'm Falisha Yumna Az-Zahra. Just call me Yumna.

Born on July 23...

I am the first of two children.

Yeah, actually 4 brothers. Because my father remarried and had two children with his new wife.

I actually love my father's two brothers. I'm very happy to visit them. But sometimes my own mother gets angry if she finds out I'm visiting both of my sisters.

I was given a motorcycle by my father. I used to visit my two sisters without telling my own mother.

I don't know I just feel happy when I get together with my sisters.

I feel complete even though our parents are not in good shape.

My relationship with my dad did not go well.

Dad only gave a living if asked, it made mom have to work to Malaysia to meet the needs of me and my sister. Arumid. Arumi Dwi Princess.

This story begins with all the families who decided to move to Kalimantan. Grandfather sold the house in J to pay the debt and chose to live with his second child in Kalimantan.

That forced me to stay at J, because the graduation exam was almost here.

The father, who knew about it, asked me to stay at his wife's house, so that he could accompany my two sisters. He and his wife are in Malaysia.

Mother wouldn't let me stay there, because of something that words couldn't describe.

I finally chose to live with my colleague Wulandari in vocational high school, before finally deciding to live with Novitasari.

Because of Wulan's house adjacent to Yongki, my lover from my 11th grade. Made myself into the gossip of Wulan's neighbors.

Living with Novi also does not last long, because Yongki is always visiting.

Made Novi's father angry and didn't allow me to stay there anymore.

He said I would make the image of the Novi family bad.

Since sitting in Junior High School and High School, I always dreamed when I had a birthday there would be someone celebrating.

I was always jealous when my classmates planned watering and flour when one of our classmates had a birthday.

I always hoped that when the 23rd of July came, there would be a surprise waiting for me after school.

But hope is only hope. There were no special events or surprises from my friends. Only one person always wishes me a happy birthday from me sitting on the Junior High.

That person is none other than the Jungle.

Yep.

Rimba always remembers my birthday. Sometimes I forget her birthday. But Rimba has never been absent every year to wish me a happy birthday.

At High School, where every month there are always students who are bullied by classmates because of birthdays.

That month, early july. Two students have birthdays. We certainly celebrate the surprise of water and flour flush for birthday kids.

I took part in the surprise event. On the sidelines of happiness because it managed to prank friends whose birthday I say a prayer that someday if my birthday my friends will give me a surprise even if only with a flour flush is very means to me.

I don't know, I just feel that my life is too lonely and colorless. Even though I was dating confidently, nyampe himself never knew my birthday until I told him myself.

You know what surprises and surprises are told in advance.

I really wish the friends around me would surprise me without me telling them first that it was my birthday.

I left home with the hope that I would get a little surprise on my birthday.

I kept quiet as usual because I thought that the other friends would definitely try to remember anyone who had a birthday in July.

But I had to feel disappointed because that day no one knew that I had a birthday.

It kept happening until I was about to graduate High School.

No one understands that I have a birthday on July 23.

Though it's clear my friends find out who are students who have birthday in July.

Arriving home, I went into the bathroom and doused myself with water and flour that I bought myself.

" happy birthday to myself." I said at that time.

November is the birthday of Novi.

All the friends plan a surprise garden flush and also on their way home from school.

I remember that moment very much. The moment where I doused myself with water in the bathroom along with flour.

Haha, it's funny to remember that laughable moment. Where after we all finished working Novi. I went into the bathroom and doused myself with water and flour.

" Happy birthday to me."

Yep.

I repeat the stupid incident where I doused myself with water and flour.

I'm happy with that even though it hurts a lot.

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The next birthday is enough to make me happy because when I had my 21st birthday, I was given a gift by God.

There is one life in my stomach. It made me happy when I said it was my birthday.

However, the following years were the same as the previous years.

No one knew and no one said I had a birthday.

Only Reimba.

Yes, sometimes Rimba wishes me a happy birthday even if it's a few days late.

I once told Galang that I had a birthday and asked him if he had no intention of giving me a gift or something that made me happy.

But Galang always said that the age of getting older instead of improving themselves instead of asking for gifts and asking to be celebrated.

Me?

Of course my poem that has a very fragile heart is sad to hear what my own husband said.

What is wrong if I expect happiness from my own husband only once a year which is on my birthday???

A few years passed...

I'm always disappointed when I expect someone to give me a gift on my birthday.

When I stopped wishing exactly 2 weeks after my birthday. There was a courier who delivered a package to me.

At first I hesitated to accept it because I felt like I didn't order anything.

Then I remember that two weeks ago Arumi once asked me the address where I live in Bali.

When I asked Arumi said that she might visit with her lover because she would make a SIM.

At that time I believed and gave my full address to Arumi because Bali is famous for being cheap when making SIMs.

I opened the parcel and how surprised I was when it was a robe and writing that said..

...Happy birthday my sister ...

...Sorry the card's late...

Tests, believe it or not but just then my tears just flowed.

I cried with tears remembering my own sister who gave me a gift.

Whereas I never once gave him a gift just a happy birthday.

He simply replied that he wanted to give me a gift.

I told Galang when he asked whose robe it was that I was wearing, I said that it was a birthday gift from my sister.

The response is ordinary.

At the end of the month of that year, I accidentally saw a post that said Arumi that she got a surprise from her friends and her lover.

My thoughts instantly flash back to the past where I never got a surprise like Arumi got

Envied?

Glimpse.

But I still wish my sister the best.

Arumid.

My sister's.

For some reason if I compare his fate and mine, Arumi's fate is better than everything.

He can even get everything easily.

I sometimes ask what makes the people nearby so royal towards Arumi.

While I was 4 years dating Yongki never once though I got something except that I bought it with my own money and suppose that it was Yongki's gift.

I am so envious of Arumi. I even blatantly told Arumi when she assumed that both of our parents loved me more than Arumi. I'm telling you that actually my life and Arumi's life are much luckier than Arumi's.

I said that on the feast day of the year. I said that in front of my mother.

I also blatantly said what made my fate so bad and as if destiny was not on my side.

I know that complaining too much is not good.

So I began to familiarize myself with the terrible fate that seemed to follow me wherever I went.

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Today, July 23, 2022.

" Happy birthday to my wife."

I woke up with a smile when I saw Galang carrying a small cake with candles.

I woke up and started praying that my family would always be happy.

Galang kissed my forehead and said that I don't need to cook for today.

Galang also said that he had washed and swept everything, so I just stayed prepared because today he would take me for a walk.

I was very happy and I hugged Galang.

Ah happy if that happens.

Haha, it turned out to be just my dream.

The fact is I woke up late because I slept last night at 01:00.

Good thing I cooked for dinner last night. So I just prepared some provisions to bring Ilmi to school.

In the afternoon I went through my usual activities, after cleaning the house and making sure everything was neat and clean. I continued to write a novel that was on going.

I pray that as I grow older, I will be able to feel my first payday from where I write.

Although I realize that my story is not as interesting as other stories. But I'm sure if one day I can create a work that is no less interesting.

When's?

I don't know if I also don't know when I can create a good work and in the interest of many readers.

Sometimes I'm down because my own husband doesn't support me writing.

He always said what I got after writing for almost 10 months.

Yep.

Last month I cried because it turns out that I was trying to chase the word can not earn income because of something.

It made me really hurt and cry all night.

Then I keep trying hard and continue my writing hoping that someday I can feel the income from my own efforts.

Sometimes I help Galang in his work so that he no longer says bad things when I have written.

What is wrong with me writing?

Yes, even though I know I never feel the income from writing. But I'm sure that one day I can feel the income of my author.

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Every night I always dreamed there would be a miracle that could change my fate for the better

I'm not asking for treasure and throne I'm just asking my husband to be gentle with me and with my two children.

This section contains only stories and no dialogue.

To be honest, I myself do not know what to pour in a story that maybe this is my own personal story.

Haha funny indeed when writing my own household story or sad life

But telling stories and writing them in writing makes me feel something different.

Every time I finished writing or reading the writing I had poured out, I felt much better and realized that maybe someone's destiny had a way.

I'm sure one day I'll be happy. Either I have to wait another year or 10 years.

At least for today I am grateful for the life and health that God has given me.

I will try better to be a mother to my two children and also a devoted wife to my husband.

I will try to add my patience in the face of the delinquency of my two children and also face the stubbornness of Galang.

Mother..

If only I knew that I actually miss you so much and would love to help you economically.

I was deeply hurt when Arumi said that she was confused about the money for the rental fee of the rented house that is currently occupied by the mother.

Arumi, I'm sorry I didn't become a big brother.

I should have given money to you, but it is you who I always bother when the money given Galang is not enough to shop.

But now I am grateful because Galang has given me a living right. Sometimes I wonder because I lack.

Is it because I am less grateful for the gift from Galang or is everything now that becomes expensive.

I don't know

I'm just trying to manage my finances for the better..

So it used to be a sad scribble from me.

And yes, happy birthday to me...

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☺️☺️