The Heart of Vania
Because I'm Not a Loser

"I like you, Assistant Yan."

His eyes widened, his body stiffened and his mouth half-opened the sign he had a tremendous shock attack.

"Ka– you?"

"Shock yes, hahaha ... I was just as shocked as you were as I realized it. I haven't known my stupid attitude all this time. I'm sorry, Assistant Yan," I said smilingly trying to remain as calm as possible though it could not be denied the rumbling of my heart was like a storm in the middle of the ocean.

"..."

"But–" I continued to take a breath away from his eyes, looking straight ahead, "I've decided that my taste of love is enough to get here. I'll stop being stupid and keep as much a natural distance as possible from you. You also don't need to feel awkward because I childishly express feelings for you ... This is how I can let go."

"..."

Turn on the car engine and set the gear, "You don't have to feel guilty kissing me yesterday either. I was wrong for pissing you off."

"I'm sorry?" tanyanya.

"Yes, I'm too deeply interfered with your personal life," I replied by turning the wheel to the left slowly, "I'm sorry Assistant Yan, in the future I will be more attitude and distance."

"..."

"Why is he more silent now? This is bad man! Why am I the one who keeps apologizing when I am the victim here" I murmured in my heart.

"We forget everything. I hope you didn't tell anyone what really happened because I did too. We assume nothing happened."

"You mean?"

"Yes, we kept yesterday's kiss secret from anyone, especially my brother-in-law and Aunt Lidya."

I could feel him looking at me intently even without looking at him, "You mind?" my many.

"Half dead I think that yesterday's incident hurt you so much, it turns out you can easily forget it," he said that made me a little provoked by emotions.

"You don't have to do it for me. I can face them, even if there's something I have to bear I will do as a form of responsibility" he continued, adding to my frustration.

Citt's.

I stepped on the brake for a moment, it felt like my blood was boiling hearing his words. Easily forget? Oi! As long as he knows, until he will continue to remember because he is the owner of my first kiss.

"Assistant Yan," I called out a long sigh, "Don't Ge-eR. I don't care at all about you and what your head is about me. I only care about my brother, Sister-in-law and your mother. Do you want me to tell them? So what? It'll just hurt them and get them in a tough choice."

The anger in my heart subsided, I managed to control myself. I turned back to her, venturing into another bead without revealing any wounds in the eyes. I'm not as charming as her lady but I still have my pride. He thinks I easily forgot everything that happened yesterday. Does he think I'm used to being kissed by men? And again why could he be so confident I would do it for him? Ashol!

"Try thinking if the three of them know you kissed me. How does Brother-in-law feel about you being her own brother and my sister who also considered you her brother, then how does your mother feel? How disappointed are they with you? How awkward are they when facing us? One thing's for sure, the warmth in this house will be gone" my boy.

"I'll bear it."

"That short is what you think? Is it all done when you say in front of them they'll take responsibility? In what form? Marry me? Fought me? Or give me compensation?" my fierce.

He was silent for a moment, unable to give an answer.

"Why do you like me?" tanyanya.

"I don't want to like you either, but what can I do?"

I can hear no submission to my own voice. However, there is also incredible relief. Acknowledging direct feelings for the person is certainly not an easy matter and I do it for the freedom of the heart even though it has to be passed with pain due to clapping one hand.

"But you're brave enough to express your feelings."

"Because I'm not a loser. I bravely went to admit it even though I knew I was going home with a white flag ... At least I didn't lose before the war. I'm not one to hide in silence if I like someone."

My answer this time can certainly choke his pride and– I am very satisfied.

"You insinuate me, Little Wasp?"

What's this! The way he asked was very domineering. His hand gripped my chin with a piercing look. I can't be daunted!

"Why? Does Mr. Assistant feel insinuated?" ketusku brushed off his hand, "I only talk about myself, if contradicting you does not mean I satirize."

"You're so chatty!"

I chuckled loudly to hear him say to me chattering, "Over Aunt Lidya?"

I could not believe he grabbed my chin again and leaned his face until our noses almost touched. Oh, my God, it's like I'm having a dejavu.

PLAQUE.

I slapped her face hard, "I warn Mr. Assistant? Don't try to touch me again! I've been kind enough to forgive you for the first time but not for the next."

"Ma– sorry. A– I lost control," she stuttered.

"I like you doesn't mean I'm treated for anything. I told you that I stopped liking you from now on. I respect you as an important person in the life of Brother Litha and Sister-in-law, that's all. REMEMBER THAT! ONLY IT– NO MORE!" I tukasku sharp with a suppressed voice and pierced back his gaze.

I'm mad! Yeah, I'm really mad. If yesterday I could still understand his actions as a reaction to my provocations but today, obviously I keep all my words. Why does he still rub my lips? Has this Moon of Misery caught his attention? Oh, No ... You're late, Dude!

"Study is done today. Will continue if I need to. Take it easy, your reputation in the eyes of my two brothers remains perfect as a flawless person."

"You're ruling me?" the pekik does not accept.

"Yes" I answered, opening the car door, stepping out.

"SIL*ALS! I could have been ordered by a child!" his surprise was upset to open the car door and out standing in front of the open door.

"Heh. A little boy is better than a loser" I said and turned around to leave him.

"VANIA, STOP!"

Shouts like the wind and then in my ears.

BRACKET.

The sound of the car door being closed by someone then followed by a quick step behind me.

"Vania, listen to me! I'll prove that I'm not a loser!"

Heh, what do I care! You're a loser or not. Wanted to prove anything, none of my business.

I kept walking behind him without reducing or increasing the pace of the footsteps.

"Vania! Did you hear that? Are you tu–"

His voice suddenly came to a halt, as well as his quick steps came to a halt as my middle finger lifted while still walking without even looking back.

...***...

The days passed as usual, just a hint of awkwardness between me and Assistant Yan. I secretly learned to drive. Luckily there is a channel to learn to drive independently on Youtube, so that we can use it as well as possible.

One week before next week before showing that I no longer need a mentor in driving. In the end, I was able to drive and dared to try the courage to take to the highway.

I don't know why I'm still hurting said the Moon of Misery. Therefore, I also began to diligently watch make-up tutorials and began to apply my own makeup so as not to look pale.

Sister-in-law is very good, she allows me to use any car in the garage to just smooth the drive, including this morning after Sister-in-law left for the office with her assistant. Why do I remember it too? It turns out to remove the liking it can not be like magic even sometimes I still curse him for stupidly loving someone's future wife.

"Hmm .. but either way, I have to thank him because thanks to him I can drive now," I said myself standing around turning my body to the right and to the left looking at my ready appearance, suddenly ...

Geck. Geck.

"Yes, come in," I said.

The door opened, Aunt Lidya appeared with a panicked face, "Miss, don't go first. Nyonya–"

Aunt Lidya's breathing was stingy as if the oxygen she was breathing was exhausted so she could not continue her sentence so panicked. Hearing the word 'Mistress', I knew her point, there was no need to wait for me to immediately run towards the main room.

"KAKAAK! ..." I shouted towards him who was holding his belly and waist.

"Duh– Nia, belly– Brother hurts so much."

Brother Litha held onto his stomach, his face grimaced like he was enduring intense pain plus the sweat on his temple was the size of a corn seed and there was a clear liquid flowing through his thighs all the way to the calves.

I gasped, confused for a moment. I'm sure it's time for my sister to give birth, but what am I supposed to do? I pulled my phone out of my sling bag.

Contact ... Contact Sister-in-law!

Unknowingly my finger pressed Abyan's phone number while searching for Sister-in-law's contact in the phonebook.

"Well, why is he the one I called" I muttered as I turned off the phone but the voice across there was already heard.

"Yes, hello."

"Engg ... Sorry to call you, Assistant Yan. I'm taking Litha to the hospital now. Tell Big Brother to follow soon to get there," I said quickly without thinking long.

"WHAT! Don't tell me you're gonna take the madam to the hospital" she screeched on the phone.

"That's it. I can take care of my brother."

Tit.

I hung up the phone, there was no time to argue with him. I have to think about my brother now. Quickly I and Aunt Lidya carried Litha to the car I had prepared for the streets. We'll be heading to the hospital soon but my whole body is weak and helpless to see Kak Litha in pain through the front mirror. I became so nervous that my hands and feet were cold thinking about how to bring a mother who was about to give birth, let alone this my dear sister. If only there were a magic door Doraemon ....

My cold hands and feet were now shaking nonstop, not to mention my teeth clashing against each other like shivering in the cold. How do I drive then?

"Miss, hurry ... The madam could not wait long because the establishment had broken," said Aunt Lidya hastily stroking Kak Litha's stomach.

Of course I panicked more and more, instantly my mind was blank and my body was in pause mode.

"MISS! MISSIS! STOP IT!" shouted Mr. Is banging on the car window very hard.

"What's up Mr Is? Don't panic us" said Aunt Lidya, lowering the windshield, "Sir, call another driver immediately! Miss is nervous, Miss can't drive under these circumstances" he continued.

"Nia ..." said Litha.

Amongst the agonizing pain he reached out his right hand to me who was sitting behind the wheel. I greeted and clasped his hands tightly with my hands wet from nervousness and sweat. While the pain was agonizing, he could still calm me down.

"Sir called, dr. Lena and the midwives are also some nurses on their way here by ambulance. Madam does not need to go to the hospital, Madam will give birth at home. Sir is also on his way here" Mr. Is said to see us holding hands.

"Is that? Well I'll prepare everything. Mr. Is help the Madam back into the room," said Aunt Lidya turned to follow the view of Mr. Is.

"Miss, please help Mr. Is bring the Madam back into the room. The doctor is on his way here. Aunt will soon prepare for the purposes of the Madam giving birth."

"I– yes, Bi."

I immediately removed my seat belt and helped my brother out of the car and walked back to the room with his stomach holding which must have been getting more painful.

"Mrs, hang on ... Soon the team of doctors will come, Young Master is also on his way home," Aunt Lidya said as she laid Litha to bed.

Brother Litha nodded with a paled face. Very illustrated how she endured the pain of the contractions, so painful that she shed tears. His mouth was busy regulating the breath by occasionally calling out the name of Brother-in-law.

"Sir Litha ...."

I also cry. As long as I lived with her, this is what I saw her in so much pain. My legs went back limp, but I had to be strong next to him before Brother-in-law came.

Fortunately the group of doctors from the hospital finally came with various medical equipment just in case and they immediately took action. A few minutes later appeared Brother-in-law who like just following a running race with one-on-one breath left.

"M– mas ...."

"Darling ...."

Brother-in-law approached his wife and wiped the flowing tears, "I'm coming, Honey ... There's no need to be afraid. There I– fight, focus on our son, yes. I love you" he said, calming down by peeping at his wife's sweaty forehead.

Instead of being calm, Kak Litha's cries grew louder, inexplicably .. roared between the pain and the impulse of contraction that came, her hands tightly clinging to her husband's hands.

"Pull your breath" dr. Lena gave the instruction, "Now push, Madam!" it's louder.

Brother Litha took a breath and strained with all her might. Sister-in-law stuck her forehead on the clutched grasp of them. The tears of the handsome man down wet his eyes for the struggle of his beloved wife gave birth to their children into the world.

My breath choked to see firsthand the struggle of life and death of a mother. My legs felt weaker and weaker, my eyes darkened and my body felt a little cold. After that I don't know anymore.

.

.

.

"Aware?"

The baritone voice I knew filled my eardrum. Although I felt a little dizzy I immediately sat down, "Sister Litha?"

"Still inside, fighting gave birth to the successor of Pradipta" he replied

"But no sound–"

"The master bedroom, Young Master Rayyendra's bedroom and Young Master Firza's bedroom are also equipped with soundproofing. Even if you scream inside, the outside won't hear."

"Oh ... Panties course–"

"Your mind is not going anywhere, it's still a perverted mind boy."

Waitaminute! Who does he think is perverted? Me? Not wrong? She kissed me and wanted to try it one more time, then she said I was perverted? Exorbitant!

"Eh, who's a pervert! I'd like to say that the muffled voice of Kak Litha's maternity is not heard. You are perverted, so do not over time yourself, at eating age so his mind travels somewhere," I said cynically while tidying up the hair that was scattered in a mess.

There was no reply, I glanced at a glance that only the tip of his ear was reddish. No matter what, in my brain only crossed the figure of Kak Litha, my memory returned just before I was unconscious, "Duh! How long is it? I want to see Brother Litha," I slowly began to bite my thumbnail.

"Is Litha safe? Is the baby safe and sound? It was terrible to see Kak Litha giving birth to even Kak Litha who was good at enduring pain until she screamed and cried. Duh! This way I won't give birth,"

My cheeks were warm, there was water running from my eyes because so many bad shadows about Brother Litha were milling about. I was so scared that my chest went up and down. I also felt tightness until I had to hit my chest a little. Anyway if finally my brother leaves me like Father, Mother, Uncle and Aunt then I will force to come with them despite moving nature. Wanna hope who else can be my back if Brother Litha leaves too?

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