Become Him
Unrest

“Go you! I don't want to see you and all your family anymore. Don't ever think that I'll forgive that jerk. He has to make up for all the mistakes he's made so far.”

Ivana's words were still clearly heard by Nata as she walked towards her study. A room that always makes you feel better.

He entered the room, ignoring Rachel who was looking at him in confusion.

“Akh shit!” nata grunts leaning behind the door he shut tightly while still his head throbbing in pain. There was nothing else he heard other than the noise that kept spinning around his head like a tangled thread.

He must always try hard to control himself every time he meets Marsya. Marsya, a beautiful woman who often reminds him of someone in his past. Especially with his appearance like that.

“Why should he come, why?! Why?!!!” nata grunts while banging his own head which does not stop spinning the memories of his miserable past.

There are too many similarities between Marsya and the woman of his past, Aruni. The woman who often makes her chest tight, her body hurts and her mind is empty.

There are many similarities between the two. Starting from the strands of his hair that is straight long and pitch black, the model of the clothes he uses, the way he looks at it that makes Nata depressed even his voice that continues to buzz in Nata's ears.

“ARRGHH!!!!” Nata growled in his heart while covering both ears. He hopes Aruni's voice is lost from his hearing.

“I love you, Mas. Forever.” The woman's shadow reappeared in her mind with a faint smile on her deathly pale lips and red and wet eyes.

“NO! NO! NO!!” like Brandon, Nata hit his own head to dispel the thought of the woman. He gripped his own clothes firmly, trying to eliminate the tightness in his chest.

Aruni's gaze was too fixed that he felt he could barely breathe and held on to the door leaf.

In a hurry, Nata walked towards his desk. He was looking for a cure for his panic attacks and depression. He ruffled the whole drawer on his desk but all he found was a photograph.

Photo Aruni, the woman he used to be, he always adored.

Nata fell down and looked at the woman's face. The face that was almost for three years made him tormented to depression.

“Why are you coming again huh? WHY?!!” exclaimed Nata with red and watery barking eyes.

“BRAK! BRACKET! BRAK!” he hit his desk several times until his fist was red. His body until trembling held back his own feelings.

He tried hard to forget this woman but Marsya came with all the similarities he created.

He rubbed the tears violently, considering Aruni had always been his greatest sorrow and regret. Thinking of this woman always managed to make Nata fall to his lowest point.

In the end, Nata could only sit in his place. He leaned against the table which was the only backrest he had. He could not get out of his place. His legs were too weak and his body was too sick.

All this is too torturous, it's so torturous. Somehow he ended all this suffering.

In her room, Rachel was still sitting pensively in front of her dressing table. The two people who were in front of him, really confused him.

Nata who left just like that after refusing Marsya's hard-earned request and Marsya who wiped his tears, but then he saw a faint smile on his lips. A smile that meant nothing, upon seeing Nata leave in a hurry and a change in her attitude.

“What's wrong with you guys? Do you have any past stories?” murmured Rachel, asking the shadow of Nata and Marsya who became one thought.

Rachel began to wonder about the past of the two people. Whenever there's Marsya, Nata is always clumsy. To drive away her curiosity, Rachel picks up her phone and finds out about Marsya. Everything about Marsya is easiest for her to find out because she is a public figure who likes to post everything about her.

Rachel checked all the contents of Marsya's social media accounts. He searched carefully for any Marsya posts that might link to Nata. But there's none. They are not even friends on social media.

And then the gossip, Rachel's looking for all the gossip about Marsya. About her relationship in the past. Many men are said to be close to the woman. Starting from fellow artists, models, politicians, entrepreneurs to ordinary people.

But no Nata's name or initials were on all of the gossip accounts.

“Akh shit, I don't find anything.” Rachel muttered regretfully. He should be happy, right? But why are his feelings getting more and more erratic.

He's been looking for a lot of things to make his phone hot. But only on Marsya's account but also Nata. There is nothing to suggest Nata and Marsya had a relationship in the past.

Rachel then nodded. He thought back to what he had done just a moment ago.

“Rachel, why don't you trust your own husband? Why are you just using prejudice to guess what might be between them?” Rachel asked herself, the self she was looking at in front of the glass.

How could Rachel not find anything when some time ago she clearly heard from Ivana's mouth that her husband had been crushed by a woman.

Is that Marsya?

*****